Re: Just broke off
 

Thanks guys for your encouragement.

I was trying to keep myself occupy. But always somehow it just sink into depressed state. The worst is in dreams. I have to wake up telling myself the dreams are not real and will torture myself even more.

On the outside, I'm portraying a Move on person infront of friends and even myself. But inside, its so weak that its almost like dying. I wish that heart can move on, but it just refuse my rational mind. :(

My friends are telling me to get another gal. Dont think about this. But inside, I cant accept myself to get a new to forget the previous. I'm trying to reach the acceptance stage, but its really hard.

Uncontrollably, I texted her, wrote letter to her, go to her house and wait etc, When texting, if the content is not trying to reconcil, just a daily sms, it feels better to text. Perhaps to fill the role I was previously doing.

Some times I hate myself for doing crazily stupid, silly or a foolish things. Or did I really fall in love. Peers are encouraging me to find another gal. Better ones. But there is a voice inside that tells me I'm not a dog. And not to pounce on any available female dogs to fill the void. Sound crude... but thats the best illustration I can make. I know its silly to hold on. I'm not sure if its cognitive bias, but there hopefully, something can change. Something...

Re: Just broke off
 

All your past memories with her; either good or bad does not matter anymore. You should learn to let go of her. It is because of your strong attachment that make you become like this.

Did she reply your sms or letter? I don't think so. Better don't waste time with her anymore. Very soon she will forget you. I know you want to get back together with her again but once our heart is broken like a vase we can only stick it back, leaving the scar behind. And only the time will let everything back to normal again.

Please do not do stupid things like suicide attempt, beating youself, etc. We are here to help you out when you need it. Listen to your peers. Find a new girl. Make new female friends and make your time occupied. Ask them out for a date or a movie. Learn to forget her from your mind.

Re: Just broke off
 

Hey bro

Yes, it hurts esp the first one. That's why you have Rod Stewart singing the song The first cut is the deepest.

You need to give yourself time. It can be months or a year or two. Breaking out in relationship is an experience in life. Your wound will heal but the scar will be there. You will learn to cherish the next one.

So meanwhile, enjoy being single again as you can do what you like without having to consider the other half. I dont know how old you are but I rather you focus on your career and works towards settling down in late 30s early 40s. Then u can choose a companion about 10yrs younger than u. Personally, I feel that's age gap is ideal.

Now you hv this chance. Treasure it.

Regards

Re: Just broke off
 

Bro, trust me time will heal everything.
Been thru many heart breaks and going thru 1 right now.
Keep yourself occupied so that your brain will not stray.

If u can't sleep just drink, alcohol helps

Re: Just broke off
 

Yo TS

This is not the end. You should find another GF and move on.

Re: Just broke off
 

Hi TS as time go by you will forget everything and start a new

Re: Just broke off
 

U will heal one day :)

Hope Ur heart get well soon:D

Re: Just broke off
 

The truth at timed when we feel sad and cant let go of a girl.

Is because we are afraid of change. What will life hold without her

But the truth is... there is always more girls out there

My ex left me after 4 years. I was crushed and sad for a year

Till I met a prettier and hotter girl in my office. That is fate.

I realised that we just need to be more charming and let go of the sadness. The sad faces turn new girls away.

Even now, I am able to attract new girls around me. To be honest I am not the best looking guy. Maybe you are even better than me

So stop holding on. Put on a smile and chat with the girls

Re: Just broke off
 

Thanks guys for the encouragement.

This is my 2nd relationship and I hold it dearly to me. Unfortunately, it didnt work out. I'm just holding on abit hoping that miracle happens. I know rationally that holding on is mentally damaging to myself. But I find it really a pity to let it go, especially the tough times we had to go through when our its the brink of breaking.

I know I have to move on some day, just sooner or later. Its just that I find it really a pity... really pity to let it all go. She is with another person and I still love her and wish she will find her happiness. But the selfish side of my wants her back so badly that my rational side just give in.

Sometimes, I just know the model answer to my problem. Just the emotion side is so strong at the moment. :(

I'm trying to go out and meet my friends. Just that I'm shattered inside yet I have to wear a smile and laugh with them. I didnt wish the people around me to me too worried as well.

Re: Just broke off
 

hi bro TS,

i know how u feel, i spend 10 years forgetting a gal i once love and got together and she was my first ex...

only time can heal your wounds and move on, remember this, "dont spend the whole day searching for the star and you will lose a moon instead"

sometimes i know its hard to be with the one you truly love, but its easier with the one you are comfortable with.

cheer up! life is a journey, marriage is not a destination. :)

Re: Just broke off
 

Hi ryuggen

How long were you with her?

Why so fast she got bf?

Re: Just broke off
 

Hi TS

You are not alone. There are people with similar experience. Some ended with divorse wasted alot of time and money. Thus broke off early is smart choice and because she is with another person.
Tell yourself that you made a smart choice to break and be happy with it.

Cheers

Re: Just broke off
 

i think, thats why when anyone fall, you'll need to learn how to pick yourself up again.
yeah you won't like move on in a day, but look ahead. i'm sure there are better girls out there waiting for you :D

Re: Just broke off
 

旧的不去，新的不来... Start anew. There are full of sweet roses and sunflowers around. This is life, live and accept what comes by. ;)

Re: Just broke off
 

Being single has its merits. At least, you are not morally (or.... even legally) obligated to entertain your other half. You do not need to worry about how she thinks or how angry she is. Being attached or married brings obligations. No doubt, losing gf is a heart breaking affair. Do look at it from another angle. What if you are married or attached one day? You will wish you are single. Many attached and married men will attest to that.

Having went all the ups and downs, its sometimes just easier and more comforting to live life alone and be accountable only to the folks who brought us into this world.

You have no in-laws that you have to answer to. You do not need to report in. You can take MC or long annual leave and leave Singapore for a good break.

Yes, being attached and/ or married means someone that you can look to. Often, is it worth the emotional heartache? Ironically, the more we care for a person, the more we tend to hurt him or her. Its unlike dating a new gal, where you do your best to impress. Having to live with your gf or wife is not the same. There are more tendencies for "friction" to arise.

Ultimately, the question is "whats your choice?" A friend of mine said that single is lonely and he scared to die alone. Quite a number of married friends said that married must have kid, so if you are going to die, someone will be there to take care of you. What ever it is, never expect anything out of a relationship or assume any certainty.

If attached and getting married means the assumption that you will not be lonely, would you rather pick a gal who would not break up with you at this juncture? If a gal would just break up with you now, then better not be married with her now because two of you would end up in divorce (quite likely) eventually.

Cheer up all heart broken bros. Its something we all go through. At least, we don't die from it. :D