Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

You getting married? Been a long time since I listened to your experiences in China. ;)

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Bro, just to share my experiences with fellow samsters:

(1) 5 Gold for your wife. FOR SURE. Gold there is very different from here in Singapore. Their gold is not as shiny as its pure gold. Its good quality gold leh. Anytime if the gold prices rise, you can still sell it back to the same shop with 15% discount.

(2) When you decide to marry your Vn gal, of course must buy wedding rings. Most of the time, diamond rings are necessary

(3) Taking wedding picture there is not so expensive la. Unlike singapore couples who spend a few thousand on wedding pictures, taking wedding photos in Vietnam only cost a few hundred. But of course, don't expect too high a quality for the wedding photo. So take earlier not a problem.

(4) Depends on how far yr wife's province is. I had mine for dinner as my in-law's province is only 2 1/2 hrs away from HCMC. But remember one thing, you must pay for their bus fare, most of the time, they will book the whole bus which will cost you a few hundred singapore dollars. My in-laws booked 2 buses to ferry frds and relatives and it cost me around 3.6 million VND in 2003.

(5) Give ang pao? u mean give yr in-laws ang pao or guests give you ang pao? Yes, you must give yr in-laws ang pao and the ang pao from frds and relatives, they keep also. Basically, you spend a lot and get back nothing.

(6) if you want to marry in VN, make sure you have yr own hotel room or house. Don't be looked down as a low class foreigner who cannot even afford to rent a hotel room.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Bro Singviet,

You are damn right.. That is why sometimes they treat us as ATM.. Moreover now economy not good, that would be even worse, lucky i already voice out before hand that due to the economy now, my businesses had drop around 70 - 80%, basically, i can have a long holiday before doing business again.. That's why they didn't ask for more, but in return i still ask for lesser monthly allowance to them.. I would say that when i send money to them is even more accurate than any company out there, super on the dot.. Whereas my payment from my clients keeps on delaying..

I still dun noe what will happen if really one day my business flops and really broke till unable to send money over, and i still have to feed my children somemore...

To my calculation, I'm sending around 5-10% of my income over, basically to a year calculation, i can relax a month every year and use the money to spent without stressing more.. So sad.. Been thinking ways and means not to send money over, any ways out there? They got so many bros and sis, how come i am the only one who is the son-in-law only to send, and feeding their entire family, whereas i have to struggle so fucking hard, but yet still not happy and every time wanna quarrel with me.. Really cannot tolerate and wanted a divorce and i'm fucking free from any stress..

And definately married is out of senario any more.. Fear for the commitment.. 1 income for the whole family and those whom i dun even see them more than 3 times before..

Shit man!!

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

I was lucky my wife knew i was not in good financial shape then when we married....most important thing is she said " dun need treat in VN la...very ma fan also now we still paying for the house(in vn)"

haha guesssed i escaped...

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

bro, you made the choice back then because you love her no??

these are all problems that comes with the package man. I think i mentioned somewhere earlier in this thread that EDUCATION is the key to sending less money..

It does not make sense to your wife that how come you were able to send XX amount of money then but now you wanna cut down suddenly. this will lead to quarrel...confirmed!!! i've been thru that...

BUT, this can be resolved...remember your wife chose you also because she loved you.. slowly talk to her and make her see the big 'picture'...that her family have to be able to fend for themselves even without your help! that your contributions shoul be treated as a bonus for buying new clothes and other luxuries...

what i said to convince my wife : " you know darling, life is so unpredictable now.. look at the newspaper report..healthy people are dying for no reasons...this is frightening..I have been thinking you should let your family realise that they cannot depend on us forever for their basic needs...what if one day something unexpected happens to the both of us?? Your family is going to suffer!! "

she got my meaning....;)

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Hi, this u have to learn from Singviet... I felt that b4 marriage, u have to discuss with ur bx first the financial support that u can give to her family. if she cant agree then TOO BAD.... Try to physco her that the family here is now more important than the family there.... Tell her that her parent is marrying a daughter and SELLING a daughter ok :mad:

IMHO, if 1 month just give 200-300 still ok for me.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Bro, X plorer...give you one hot tip...

Vietnamese girls are mostly " Mouth Hard Heart soft"

got it?? So take the soft approach and explain...even though you very 'bek chek' wanna explode liao also must lun.....go soft with them and you will get what you want ...eventually...

well, if you choose to use hard with them , normally we will see a hurricane as fierce as the recent financial stock crash la...hahaha:D

and normally when they angry, just apologise first....dun care who wrong..you know you right also.just apologise first..then talk later...i think it works...maybe back in vn they always have to submit to the males in the family so when you as a male is softer with them , they tend to like it...

how bro singviet?? any views on this??

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Wow..I definitely learn alot from your posts...pls post more...:)

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Bro, this i agree with you. Actually most gals are like that, soft hearted. Just that VN gals cool down much faster and easier while Spore gals will take forever to cool down. In a marriage, there's not always only good times, bad times come by once in a while too. Soft approach always work better on gals. When you are feeling tu lan and yr ba xa also feeling the same, stop talking for the next few hours, cool down and you will be alright. Talk to her later when both parties have cool down. I always try to make my wife laugh after a heated argument. Can you imagine, my wife even asked me to pull my car over and she alighted the car and started walking by the roadside. i was angry and drove off but U turned after 3 mins. Asked her to board the car but she refused..... after 1 hr, she's laughing again and talking to me. This is the great difference b/w Viet BX and Spore BX. For bros with Vn wife, ask them to scrub yr back during shower. Take shower with yr ba xa as often as possible. Trust me, they scrub well.... make u feel good.. hahaha :D

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

any1 going vietnam today me flying over 4/11

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Bro, i have a feeling you copy me lei...hahahahhaha....:D

anyway, i feel that once you choose your wife and she chose you, nothing cannot be worked out...i think it applies to all marriages but just tht i feel that VN wives are easier to coax la....just make them laugh like bro Singviet said...it will take away a whole lot of tension and will make any subsequent discussions much much easier..

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

I'm stucked in Sg for months loh..so no CN experience to share..(I heard Zaryl & Techno made it to CN..kudos!) No, not getting married. Just reading the Vn thread & compel to list down what came to mind..just my nature of being an IT-analyst (detail person).. This is one most informative thread I hv read. Kudos to SingViet. There's also good encouragement frm VK sometimes ago...

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

lol... this suddenly reminded me of my first viet gf who bought coupled rings for me :o

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Agree to this, need to sayang her a bit then she will heart soft. Another once a Viet ger "die heart", it is impossible to get her back. :rolleyes:


Errrr which is your first? :rolleyes:

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

err, i think is before you met me one... zhu_star knows her though...