Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

if put a side taiwan and to earn money there,i felt that their listening to a foreign language especially chinese and learn to speak is stronger compare to others.why i say so?i ever ask my wife's few friends how they learn chinese cos they dont know chinese at all when they first came sg.They say they learn through everyday see channel 8 or channel u when they are at home alone most of the time.

But i do agreed their chinese is half cook like what u say,can speak but not well.some is parents is chinese and teach them when they are small:D

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

some of their family is chinese due to their ancestor,so some parents teach them when they are small but most learn through here and there.:D

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Something about Singaporean husband is that they give in so much to their Vietnamese wife until the whole household become vietnamese. Yes, doting your wife is a must but we must let them know that they need to adapt to the food and lifestyle here after marrying here. They cannot be asking for everything vietnamese after marrying here. Just like when i was staying in VN some years ago, i had to adapt myself to the lifestyle and food there. No complaints. Many viet spouse use `not used to lifestyle here' as reason to go back VN so often, and always staying for a month or so. If this happens much too often, the chances of her having a viet bf there is very high. My wife only goes back here province once in a few years, or when necessary. She adapts to life here. This is how we can create a family that's happy. You cannot expect to have a blissful family without sacrficing something. If you let your children be like the kids from Vietnamese province, they will grow up like them. Lowly educated and lazy. They will be lagging behind everybody in Singapore. We are living in modern day singapore, we cannot expect to bring up kids the vietnamese way and neither can we afford to create a vietnamese environment at home. The rich vietnamese are sending their kids to singapore to learn our way of life, then why are we bringing up our kids in their hopeless way? Sorry to sound drastic and blunt. If we do not want others to look down on us, we should not act in such ways that create the poor image of us.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

haha bro,actually i want to post my thinking same as yours,but think i better not cos he might think i too blunt.From the things he post,i think he is those type that give in and felt insecurity type

Anyway dont want to offend other ppl family matters so better let those senior bro like u comment:D

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

hahha, i always 做坏人。

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

that's why your thread got 3 star what haha:D

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

she is your wife...now only you worried about all these...dun you discuss with her about all these challenges before marriage...too late now bro...but you still has plenty of time to let her learn and adapt...good luck...:)

I always like to learn their language so that I can converse with her family...also to go anyway in Vn...think I had pretty much done all these after more than 5yrs...:)

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

I still remember 6 years ago when my wife just came to SG,no friends,no family and cant talk much,only simple broken english.There was once she was sitting alone with those market auntie and uncle to see 'ge tai' during the hungry ghost festival.I ask her whether she understand,she say dont know but she dont want to be alone at home.

Of course in a new environment,one will feel lost and miserable but if one dont try to adapt to it,then for her to live here and be happy will be a problem for her and she will start to want to go back.

My wife start to go outside,go market and ntuc and etc.Ppl in market bully her and talk bad about her as impression of vietnamese in the eye of ordinary sg folk is associated with wl.With her limited broken english,she find her first vietnamese friend in ntuc.

Recently i ask her,how u feel when that time when those ppl bully her,she told me she have to thank them cos they let her learn and grow.

So if a vietnamese wife really want to live with u here and start a family,she is the one that must sacrifie to adapt to sg things to live with u.Worry is worry as a husband but if she really want a happy family with you,she will slowly adapt,for her is no choice

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Seriously speaking, vietnamese spouse do face bias almost everywhere they go in Singapore. I won't start to mention again on what kind of statements singaporeans make on them. But my wife do not really care how they perceive her as long as what she does is correct.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

One of my wife's friend, a 24 year old Viet lady married to a Singaporean man and with a 3 year old daughter. This young lady has been spending a lot of time with my wife and listening to my wife's advice. Just 2 weeks ago, she had some problem with her husband and my wife and i spent the whole afternoon talking to them. From what i see, this lady is different from the rest and can be taught. But all things come back to square one, she's bored and she requested her husband let her go back to VN for 1 month. Her husband works on 2 jobs, 16 hours a day and made barely enough to support her. She insisted on going back and her husband borrowed from friends to let her go back. When my wife and i were in VN, we gave her a call. Damm it, she's gambling at home. Tell me about all the time i spent on counselling her, its useless. Went back there and all bad habits come back.

My experience with Vietnam goes this way, initally was something fresh, very interesting. Then came realisation stage when i started to realise lots of things about their country and culture and now, the immune stage when i have no feeling for that country, its just a place for me to earn money.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

tell me all about it...brought back unhappy memories...no way will have a gf or bx who gambles away my hard earned money...:)

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

bro GQ dun worry, this is forum, if write here means i also like to seek ppl's views just most bros here...
Bro SV have done a good job as forum-keeper, the objective of the forum he started till now is 5yrs...There's is no other forum like this in the whole WWW.

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

When dealing with foreign ppl be it relationship or biz, u must know their language if not u be always at disadvantage..

Btw BRo GQ's wife was like my wife now... she dun like to wonder just waiting at home for me...

My wife just had a MC thats why i very worry about her. As i have been working very hard, leaving her alone.. I felt i never take good care of her.. thats why.. And was even thinking whether i should let her stay in VN for 1st 3mth of preg when more stable then fetch her back...

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Sianz.. so many married members here.. though I saw many singles in HCM, some places in my country every girl gets married at 16 - 22 years old..

At my age, they call me (in Vietnamese) "E" meaning nobody love me and nobody want to marry me and I would be forever alone.. :(

Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
 

Yes, knowing the language is important but knowing the culture is even more crucial. Culture dictates how they react and how they behave, basically its their thinking ;)