Allowing wife to have another.
 

Nothing really sexual here. I'm new here and just finding an avenue to let it out from my heart and I think this would be a proper place. Long post ahead...

we have been married for a few years now and when I first got to know my wife back then, I knew she loved to date with different guys and she was fairly active sexually and enjoyed it. Regardless, I decided to continue seeing her. We were young back then and discovering so I thought it was pretty normal for an individual to meet different people.

As time goes by, our relationship bloomed and we finally got married. However, along the years, while she still treats me well, she was always caught by me for seeing other men behind my back. (Don't get me wrong. Our marriage is a happy one and we enjoy each other alot in bed and we don't fight at all throughout our marriage) And each time, i refused to give up on her as I believed in forgiveness and knew that marriage is not an easy thing and I only want her to be happy.

Instead of going in a rage, I will always reason with her nicely and asked her why she does it. Somehow, each time, I will also confront her lovers nicely. In otherwords, Gentlemen talk. Often, I will just tell them that they were caught and the whole thing was wrong and telling them to stop the affair. I still wonder why I just cannot get angry over it. It was always more of an upset and dissappointment. Life became really hard for me and I struggled mentally as do any husband knowing of their partner's affair.

moving forward another few years, she was caught again with another man and as always I asked her nicely why it happened. Then something strucked me this time and i begin to question myself trying to find a logical reason. Could my wife be just someone who personally needs to have different men even before I knew her? Hence, why she sees different men in her single days? If so, then I could be the reason that is stopping her to be well.... herself - who she is. And that, does not sit well with me as i am preventing her from being happy. In otherwords, I am being unfair.

So, I started to try and change my mindset. Of how I perceive the whole matter. I decided that I married the love of my life, therefore, the best thing I can be for my wife is to at least accept her for who she is and accept that she is not perfect and she is as human as any of us. That, which makes her... perfect.


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Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

I decided to make the first move and we had a heart to heart talk. I told her that from now on, I am not going to hold her back from seeing or even sleeping with another man if she wants to. That I should not be the reason stopping her from being who she is.

Eversince that talk, our love has been more stronger than it ever was. We are more affectionate towards each other. Communication and trust comes easy.

Call me stupid but I think I just found a way to save this still wonderful marriage and at the same time keeping my other half happy. If we are happy, nothing else really matters i guess.

Often than not, mainstream social expectations and thinking moulded us to perceive what is right what is wrong. Sometimes, we have to take a step back, see things from another view and decide what works for us and what doesn't. All it takes is some effort to understand your other half.

Yes, my wife has another and yes we are happier than ever before...

I hope by sharing my experience, it might help any other other bros/sis here that might be going through similar situation in their marriages/relationships and feeling helpless. It might not be the end of the road just yet.

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

1)Stronger? Act of guilt and personal needs?. Nope, that is not more affectionate towards each other, it is just temporary. Eventually, it will go back to anxiety.

2)Are you really happy or succumb to self comforting of your own. Nope i dont think you are really glad and happy with her doing.


3) You are just baiting for reply, a reply from everyone to give their opinions.
you are hoping you are not the only one stuck in this situation :):):)

Regardless of that issue. you have to question yourself what really brought both of you together in the first place. Love? needs or maybe some benefits?

Think deeply and carefully. :):):)

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

Really something interesting here

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

Just imagine if she caught you with other woman, what would be her reaction and behaviour? Or what would be the reaction of most of the ladies. There are different threads in this forum that deal with this type of issues i.e. lady got divorce just bcz her husband was surfing on this forum. In my opinion, you are weak man who cant take stand or argue in front of your woman even after knowing that she is involving in w...e acts.
I am sorry if you mind my harsh statement but i tried to honest.

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

Your wife so open

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

I dun know what to say, u r being make a cuckoo and u feels happy about it. Since u dun mind ur wife sleeping around, why dun u sleep around as well. And see if she is comfortable about it.

You reminds me of a friend that is in a similar situation like u many years ago. At least the wife dun sleep around, she just goes around dating other guys. He has to constantly assure himself that it is alright since she is not sleeping around. But in the end things went a bit too far, he took the bold step of walking out of the marriage and has been a much much happier person since. :p

PS : He always tell me this whenever we meet up for makan, the best thing he did in life was to walk out of the marriage. :D

*Maybe in ur case it is special, u seem to enjoy wearing different green hats from time to time. So to each his own.

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

I think it’s TS who is open.
But than most likely he’s the type with cuckold fetish.

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

I didn't realize such love exists . hats off and thanks for sharing .

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

Bro TS you are a very special person!

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

ts can intro your wife?

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

My opinion

There is more than one way to maintain a marriage, and if it works, it works. There are bros here who visit FLs but happily married living a happy family life. It is basically nothing different from that, except for her its free and maybe even more, like getting gifts etc.

Which brings to the next point, of being honest for yourself and being observant enough, which you may or may not have been. Is there any part of her life that you have been unable to fulfill? Luxurious lifestyle? Being doted on? Sex life? There are many possibilities. But if you feel you’ve covered all areas, or that you have given your all, then so be it

Lastly, the moto here has always been to chiong safe. This will apply to your wife as well when she has multiple partners. I dont need to elaborate on that. STD, pregnancy (if not yours), can and will destroy lives

Re: Allowing wife to have another.
 

Bro TS,

Thanks for sharing.
For other bros who are in doubt, fyi, there are many hubbies who are really open mind. I have my own experience, my friend asked me to have 3some with his own wife.
Some couples are also into swinging lifestyle.

I totally believe them when they say their relationship getting stronger.

Maybe your friend's wife has fancy for you, lucky fella.

Looks like you stumbled upon the joys of polygamy And cuckold, hotwife r/s. Unconventional yes, but to each his own. Every couples internal dynamics are different, what matters is that everyone es happy and satisfied :) I am fortunate to know couples that embrace an open marriage and are really happy. Drop me a pm :)