Followed by PI
 

Hi Bros,

First time i heard dis kind of scenario from one of mi close brudder... dat he was married but had an extra-martial affair... w his wife n family suspecting....

now he had a PI following him on a bike for a few days n he jz confronted dat fella 2 days back.... make a big ugly scene w police involved...

jz wanna ask wat's d possible scenarios dat follows after dis... divorce o go back?.. divorce is imminent i think but any maintenance fees involved?

how abt divorce for chinese, indians n muslims?

i really nid sum help here n perhaps fella samstas can help.. 10Q in advance.... 10Q.. :D

Re: Followed by PI
 

Japboy, you said you really need help, BTW are you the one or your "friend" :D

Re: Followed by PI
 

Hmmm..it seem tat u need a lawyer samster to help in this liao..keke..btw, if u r chinese n indian..should be according to martial law..muslim have their own...and if your frd got evidence of ex-martial affair..and the wife knw about and use it as a reason for the separation..den she can demand alimony fm you...but of coz the court will decide on the final cost depending on the asscessment of your income and the validity of your spouse claim..that all i knw..hope it help abit lah..in sin..if the man got caught den good luck to you. :o

Re: Followed by PI
 

For me I always look around all sides of my 185 horsepower car when I drive just to make sure that there are nobody tailing me, esp. motor bikes. If suspect anything amiss, I will step on my accelerator and zoom off.

Re: Followed by PI
 

If the wife files a divorce on grounds of infidelity, the judge will award maintenance fees anything from $500 onwards per month, depending whether got kids and income level. Never get caught for infidelity.

Re: Followed by PI
 

Aiyoh, I think you guys are not advising him the right thing. Let me tell you how it works. I know because I went through this whole thing before.

I mention this before and I want to repeat again. The court does not care whose fault it is. If we men think we can escape from maintenance fees if it is our wife who has an extra-marital affair outside, then we are dead wrong.

As long there is a divorce, men will have to pay maintenance fees. The amount will range from a minimum of $1 to any amount the judge decides. If you caught your wife with evidence from PI, then all she has to pay is your PI fees and your legal fees. YOU WILL STILL HAVE TO PAY HER MAINTENANCE FEES. The fees will depend on kids and her monthly expenses before divorce. Normally if you caught your wife, the kids will go to you, but YOU STILL NEED TO PAY MAINTENANCE FEES TO HER. No escape on this...just hope all you need to pay is $1. Marital assets will have to be divided. No escape either. (By the way, marital assets are defined as any items that you guys use for your marital home. So even if let say, you have a car which you bought before you know her, but it is shared after marriage with her, then that car is considered as a marital asset. Not neccessary must be only assets that were bought after marriage)

I know it is not fair....but the law works that way. It sucks....but that's the law here.

For our bro here, there is three ways you can save or minimise your problem

1) Beg for forgiveness. There is no time to be egoistic here. If she call for divorce, you are screwed.

2) if she has PI evidence against you, try to delay any request or demand for divorce for at least 6 months. After 6 months is passed, she cannot file divorce based on infidelity....but she can still file divorce based on other reasons. You are still screwed, but not so heavily.

3) Try to request for annulment. High chance she won't agree, but it is worth a try. If the marriage is annuled, you dun have to pay her anything.

Divorce can only come into effect if the marriage is more than 3 years. If it is less than that, is has to be separation, unless she has a valid reason and strong reason.

With the above, I hope brothers will get the facts right. if want to have fun, do all before the marriage. Once into the marriage, it is a losing game for men. You guys wun believe the kind of reason a woman can give in order to divorce you. My fren got divorce because the wife gave reason such as he never get her a maid, never pay his bills on time, never share houseload, etc.....silly reasons but they are all categorised under divorce due to "unreasonable behaviour". The law does not defined what is exactly "unreasonable behaviour"...so all the above reasons can be use.

Now you know how sucky is our divorce laws. And how easily a woman can screw a man up after marriage.

Followed by PI
 

Re: Followed by PI
 

woman's charter :mad:

when are they gonna come up with a man's charter? :confused:

i thought women are always asking for 'equality"? then where's the equality for a man's charter???

Re: Followed by PI
 

In Singapore, the man's charter is National Service. If you have diploma or AIR level, the charter longer, ke ke ke :p

Re: Followed by PI
 

WasteD! he should act good man for a few days..... pretend that actually he was taking up a 2nd job to feed the family... working very hard .. that kind of stuff.... then next time the wife will totally trust him...
in impulse... he did that... also indirectly..... admitting that he has something outside...

Re: Followed by PI
 

What you really need to consider is the following:
1. Is your marriage doom or do you want to save it?

2. If it's doomed (imminent, as you put it), then it does not matter whether PI has evidence of your infidelity. The court rule on divorce and settlement on a fair basis (according to the law and not what you think). It does mean maintainence on your part. As one brother pointed out, THE COURT DOES NOT CARE HOW OR WHO IS AT FAULT.

3. If you want to save it, play humble. crawl home. Begged for forgiveness. Sleep on the floor. Shave your head bald, etc...

4. If you really want a divorce, just make it easy for yourself and both parties. Don't fight and turn it into a free-for-all (relatives, sisters, uncles, girlfriend, etc,). Refer to point 2. You still get a divorce it's just how much you have to pay.

5. Did you bash up the PI? If you did, then you have another problem on hand. He may take a civil suit against you. His evidence in your divorce proceeding will not be in your favour. If you are fighting for custody, your wife may argued you are violent in nature and the PI incident with you may backed her up.

At this point, don't think about the legalities in law. Take stock of your life. Do you really want to call it quits and move in with your girlfriend? If you really do, calculate and see what do you have after your maintainence payout.

Can you afford your new wife the lifestyle with your nett pay? Life is not love, sex and fresh air.

Brother, calm down, take a break and review your life before deciding on the next move.

Remember, you screwed around, that puts you in the wrong no matter what the circumstances are.

Re: Followed by PI
 

I think you have said it all... exactly how I feel.
Clap, clap.....

up u 4 it.

Re: Followed by PI
 

10Q to all the precious advises given by fella brudders here... let me repeat again.. it's mi frenz n not mi... normal pple tends to assume another identity in solving problems but not mi case... btw, i'm not married yet!... :D

he did not even touch d PI... jz made d police came to take statements..

how abt muslim laws? any comments on dis??? :D

Re: Followed by PI
 

If I may juz add on a little......

Maintenance fee is not only to maintain a basic lifestyle but wat u have been previously providing.
For example, you bring her on oversea holiday yearly.....
Maintenance Fee will also include the holiday which u were previously providing so willingly.

All thanks to the ........Woman's Charter

Re: Followed by PI
 

which company is the PI from? damn lousy, I shall tell my friend not engage from the same place