[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by SingViet

When i married my wife 10 years ago, my MIL keep asking my wife to take over my finances. My wife asked me a few times, i declined. As i only started doing business in vietnam then, my finances were very tight. I told my wife i hold postgraduate degrees in finance, i can manage my finances better than her. Everyday, i will give my wife a certain amount of money to go to market. I will also place some money in her wallet. We go out together all the time, so i know what she spent on. She can ask from me again when she finishes the money. After coming back to Singapore, i always let my wife have around $100 to $200 in her wallet. My wife also have access to NETS, but there's only a few hundred dollars in that account. She also has supplementary credit cards from me, but with limited credit. All these years, i have learnt to trust my wife but still finances need to be controlled as she has a soft spot for her family. I have seen some Singaporean husband who doesn't give his wife a cent, this is very wrong. Different spouse have different character, but its best to keep finances to yourself and give her some pocket money. Also do not let her know how much you have in your bank till many years later when you feel you can trust her.

Bro SingViet, how you decline your wife w/o her getting upset and angry? Told her the similar thing but she don't understand and counter back that I don't trust her etc and the whole drama comes back again. Like you mentioned, I gave her some allowance but a little more la $300/mth (she say she need more to buy son's necessity), sometimes less depending on how much I bring back, & access to our joint account for our son's future schooling fees.

Originally Posted by SingViet

I agree with the other brother that your wife has planned this long time back. You got to think over again if you want your wife back. Many Singaporean man are totally controlled by their viet spouse. What their wife wants, they will give. Viet spouse also know how to control their husbands, mostly thru sex. Marriage is about mutual respect, but i have observed, in most cases of viet spouse, the wife and her family is more equal than the husband.

Planned or not, I don't know.. Giving her benefit of doubt? But she left my house w/o anything except her phone and money la. But the air tix book same night and following night evening flew back. think bros here might think I dumb la but afterall who gives up on the person they love after one or many unhappy event? I can feel she got love me la but if she treats me equal now like her family I guess she repent? She contacted me yesterday and said she's sorry about what she had done.

Now she's back in wet nam, she told her mother the story (quarrel we had). According to her, her mother don't let her come back sillypore as she thinks I am mistreating her daughter. (-.-) wtf now I have to go back wet nam & "convince" my MIL that she is not mistreated over here?!

Originally Posted by naemlo

Some Singaporean men are soft and born stupid. Listen to whatever, not 100% but at least 99% of what wife or gf says... a bit of disgrace. In hokkien, sia suay. In chinese, fan jian. Men can give in most of the time but not always. We have to be firm when necessary else u give her 1 inch, she will want 1 ruler length.

U are to be blame to make her to become what she is now. Even wife and husband, u need to be smart to manage finance. Only stupid man will give all his earning to wife. There are thousands of stories, wife runs away with all the money. This is real practical world, money sometimes rules over relationship.

From taking away all the money, run away and threaten to divorce, it is either she don't love that much as what u think or she is just using this same old workable tactics on u to make u behave like a dog n listen to her.

Either u keep to your soft character n listen to her, give in to her and continue to be your wife's another big baby or be tough for once. If she still bothers about u n u ignore her for sometime, not even reply her sms, IM or whatever, she will be worried n look for u but if she dun bother about u and just treating u as another money making machine, she will not bother to look for u.

It is your life, u messed it up, no one can help to pick your shit.... u just have to clean your own ass at end of the day.

It's ok la bro, I need wake up call n drill into my brains too. So Thanks bro naemlo, noted for your advice, I really fucked things up. I always tot vbs are easier to control than Singaporean girls thus I broke up with my Singapore gf when she was demanding and pressurizing me about earning more money buy house etc. I always tot vbs have less expectation and want a simple life - my wife told me she don't care about money la, just want simple life.... But I guess it's not the case when she withdrew all the money for my son's education.... I 真坏命! (Hokkien - Jin pai mian)