[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Ladies love being appreciated and reassured. SG guys tend to be sweet until they become the BF/husband and then stop being sweet. It is a big mistake to cut back on the appreciation and reassurance. No matter how successful/independent the lady is, she will still need guys to put in effort to appreciate and reassure her (of how important she is to you). I have a female colleague in her 50s. Whenever life throws up a problem, she is always looking for her husband to come offer her reassurance. Reassurance that she is not facing the problem alone.

Just ask your normal female friends, at what stage in a relationship will a lady stop looking for appreciation and reassurance from their bf/husband? Do your own survey.

This is why ABCs and white guys are so successful. They can build up a woman's self esteem so high and continue to maintain the level of effort. The problem is many Asian ladies know they can maintain the level of effort and so throw themselves at these ABCs and white guys even though the guys are married/attached. Temptation beckons then.

Try this method. Stop thinking of yourself in a relationship. Stop thinking of her in the relationship too. It should not be a 'Her Vs Him' scenario whenever there are issues to consider. The relationship is not about him or her. A relationship is about 'US'. Try thinking of solutions from the US (him and her) angle. Whenever you act from the 'US' angle, fewer quarrels already.

If too chim, just put a daily reminder at 1 pm in your calendar. When the daily reminder goes off, send her variations of such a whatsapp message (have you eaten? thinking of you) (what did you have for lunch?). The point is not what you type but you did think of her.

Good observations and analysis here.