Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11
love or not
also go for counselling
Even want to divorce, also need to build up your case for more favourable outcomes. Court will consider the fact that you have made efforts to save the marriage before.
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Counselling is good. Most official counsellors do have good hearts, but the drawback is that they will not know both your life history enough, in depth, nor the time to do so. Some are even so jaded that based upon face value, they will relay what a divorce lawyer will say - the consequences & then make that choice.
It's like the investment field. Most would place their life savings on a Broker, who claims he is the best, with records to show you, but only the wins & NOT the losses. It's a job to him - he earns commission.
However, it is YOUR life savings. Win or lose, the Broker loses nothing. If you win, good for you. But if he lost it all, it's only YOUR savings, not his. He simply pats the dust off his backside & leave you to come to grips on the lost of your life savings. Investments have its up & downs, he will tell you. It's your choice after all, as he did not put a gun to your head & force you to invest.
The best investor is & WILL always be yourself. It's your life savings. All it takes is MORE understanding, education & trial runs with small amounts 1st, to learn, then when you are confident enough with market study, then proceed to bigger amounts.
Similarly in life, YOU are the best counsellor for your marriage, as YOU know 1st hand from day 1 till today in the relationship with your wife - her every needs as well as yours. As no 2 human will think alike or can read mind, communications is akin to learning, from each other, to progress the relationship for a better future, taking baby steps first, with patience, before proceeding to the next level. It only needs patience & time.
Her calls of Divorce or seemingly indifference to household chores ( as you earn a decent salary & both have different work times, thus there may be a maid to tidy up after you both at home) may not be real, as common with women who says yes but mean no, but only a cry or a plea that there is something wrong in the relationship & needs to improve. You will need to find a good & quiet time with her to draw out the depths & real meaning of such cries, to improve or compromise for a preferable future for you both & kid, they way you both used to do before marriage, sharing hopes & dreams for a future together, under the moon on a bench facing the endless sea at East Coast Park...
Most easily quit & think their next relationship will be better. They are mistaken. Humans are not robots or slaves. It will need patience & time to build a relationship. If they have none of such, then life will be revolving door of women till money runs out or old age, unless one is a tycoon, then they can easily change partners everyday, but then, tycoons became rich by saving, not throwing money or relationships away.