[walala]

TS, want to meet up for kopi and talk more?

I'm happily married for 11 years and there are many transitions a couple makes in a relationship after marriage. Firstly, I think you are feeling quite normal in terms of your thoughts and worries etc. Second, its good you are aware there are issues with yourself such as the porn watching and desensitization with your current gf (and i assume wife to be). Thirdly, you acknowledge it all and chose to seek forum help here.

I applaud your open honesty. There is no quick fix to relationships, many small acts and efforts daily to build the relationship. Main issue to fix is better sex life with your partner. I feel for girls who are lower in sex drive, it takes building up. Foreplay is a whole day event from compliments, encouragements, teasing, hand-holding, kisses and long hugs, skin to skin contact and gentle caresses, whispers, striptease, and making her body your wonderland. Alot happens in the mind, not just physical sensation.

As some bros also suggested, try to stop masturbating/porn watching. Engage in proper romancing, and find the right buttons to push for each other. During my early years of marriage, my wife's button was simply blow drying her hair and giving her back rubs (invested in some relaxing essential oils for that). For me? I took months to encourage her to go braless outdoor and it excites me whenever she does so. The sex thereafter will be very good of course. I first started with requesting for her to remove her bra when we are outside, then choosing clothes for her to try out going braless (standby a jacket or cardigan for her to cover up), and slowly work from there. Nowadays she don't even wear a bra to work (helps that we always shop for clothes that wont show her pokies), and I still give her back rubs too. It takes time to "groom" each other sexually, its not like porn straight away look, lust, fuck.

If you love your partner, romance her and desire after her. Your mind will handle the rest after that, auto mari kita, and she will slowly but surely reciprocate.
Dont aim for ejaculation, aim for emancipation. Set each other free to explore your sexuality together.