Quote:
Originally Posted by SingViet
Bro, not that i want to ask this question, but how long have you been in Vietnam and do you stay there or just fly in for business trips? I disagree with your statement on vietnamese spouse. Your understanding of vietnamese people and culture needs to be greatly tuned up. The normal vietnamese lady (not WL) tends to be more conservative. If the lady comes from middle to upper class, then the FACE value will become even more important. They cannot be seen not faithful to husband, or to the extend of making the husband lose face. As for seating down with husband and ex-bf at the same table, don't mind me saying, i think you got it all wrong or you have met a very special and stupid foreigner or a special vietnamese lady that likes to lose FACE.  |
I am staying in Hanoi for 2 years now, came regularly every other month for many years before
The "FACE" is a joke in my experience, a nice, cute, joke, but still a joke. It is important that there is nothing to say about you, if you want to keep your face. So the way they found is to arrange to hide everything that could be said
I has the (un)luck to know many middle high class people in Vietnam, and the face story, those days, starts very young, when the parents wants everyone to belive their daughter or boy sleeps at a girl or boy friend place, like friends of the same sex. Of course we are not that stupid, but we cannot say anything, and the "face" is safe.
For the married women, they arrange sometimes to visit one of their 'girlfriends', the husband and the complete family covers that, even to their closest friends. My partner's wife tried to catch me many times (she was not the only married wife to try that).
She told once to her husband that she went to a business meeting in Saigon, in the evening she showed up in my office, invited me for dinner. I got my partner by accident on the phone, asked him if he was joining the dinner. He asked me if I was at the meeting in Saigon, I told him no, in my office in Hanoi. Silence on the phone. She left my office in a hurry. Next day, the wonderful happy couple was together, gave me a shitty explanation, she missed the flight, though of inviting me for dinner, and call her husband if I accepted. No problem
I happened to be somewhat cheated, until I realized that the "face" story can be on one side, must be on both sides. I started to trick and block any way to escape if people are not doing the right things, in my business. Otherwise I was cheated and people would keep their face. Their driver took the "tip money", that's not them, they do not know, poor them. And of course they kept their face like that.
The face is something teached to others so they think they cannot be cheated, but those days it does not exists really anymore in the fact, it is a make up...
SingViet, if you want you can PM me
