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Originally Posted by Coolman_friend
Bro Singviet,
Thanks for your guidance and advise .I have not been posting in your thread for sometime and one thing i would like to makeup is that i have already resumed back my relationship with GF.
Communication is truly a barrier as we are not able to fully understand each other well. I have recently attended my cousin wedding in HCM and also in the countryside with my parents and relative as well as my GF which she also get to know my cousin and his wife when my GF was in singapore with me. When i arrived in HCM hotel day before my cousin wedding day , i have not called my GF as i'm thinking of not seeing her anymore but since i have promised to bring her to my cousin wedding , i asked her to come over to HCM while she is still in Dongnai . She did not hesitate and took a 3 to 4 hrs ride jounery to HCM and meet me . I told myself maybe i can take this opportunity to ask her to give me an explanation.
During my cousin wedding dinner which is held at Dong Phuong in HCM, i feel so envied for my cousin to marry such a nice girl and yes she is indeed a nice girl i ever known and always tell my cousin if my GF can be like her , i will be glad to marry her immediately. The wedding dinner probably finished at around 10pm which is slight earlier than singapore. After that we returned to our hotel and during the whole night in the the hotel room , i was so angry with her that i don't even want to hug her to sleep , not even think of making love. Later my cousin and his newly wed wife invite us and my parents and relatives for supper at night. I didn't even want to call my gf to tag along as i decided to break-off with her already. I invited her to my cousin wedding is because i promised her and also my cousin's wife and also want to let her know we singapore man is not so heartless and iresponsible.
The next day i asked her to go back to dongnai and tell her this would be the last time we met and whatever i given her just treat as i lost in gambling.
I can tell she is very upset and also feel like crying , but vietnam girl prefer soft approach , if you are hard to them , they can be very nasty and just call a cab and leave you. Well i told her to bid farewell to my parents and happen that my parents have went shopping not long ago.
When she get into the car , i told her you sure want to leave now and not say farewell to my parent. In a just minute, i know everything is going to be over and so be it.
After she left for about 20 min, my parents come back to the hotel room and immediately i call her on mobile when she was about ot change her new sim card. if i have not call her in a that moment , i think i will not be able to hear from her again. I feel so lost when she is gone just like that and i'm ao angry with her that i didn't have time to hear her explanation. When she recieved my call , she know that i still love her and immediately she asked the cab to take her back to the hotel , wasted $20 for that trip, but better than to lose her forever. I hugged her when she returned and told her how can be so cruel after been through with you for so long about 1 yrs plus. Since than she did told me she sometime lie to me but have not been unfaithful to me cause in her cafe she get to chat with many guys when i was there also and because she is not able to explain to me clearly in english and that depend on my cousin wife who can speak quite well english and become our translantor. They are very easy to chit chat with anyone , be it guys or gays as i guess this is their culture when i was there. Partially of that she decided me to setup a clothing shop for her to sell lady wears so that she would not have many guys around.
Many doubts are clear after this trip and we have a fun and wonderful time there. But one things for sure is that they are the sole breadwinner in the family and they really put this priority before you as they need to take care their poor parents and sibling before they can think of you first.
The cafe business is able to sustain their daily expenses like food and rental , but cannot really make money out of it. So if there is any major disaster in the family , like operations or accident . they are not able to fork out the sum of money. After understand her plight , i have given her some money to setup another business in selling clothing and accessory which turn out to be more profitable and she is feel more happy now since i call her everyday. From this moment i realise why i hate and love vietnamese girl so much.  sorry for a bit long winded.... |
Hey Coolman,
all the best to your re-kindled relationship...and just my 2 'Dong' worth, yes i also realise that Vn gals are very easy to chat up with other guys and gals and its normal,,my married Vn guy frens also go out with alot of gals,,,but its strictly platonic,,,,and i know of gals and guys living together in the same house,,,guys one room and gals the other,,rent is expansive in Hanoi so they have to share,,,but I do not think any hanky panky goes on.
Another scenario was. I was with this gal and she is a relative of a fren intro to me,,so we went out but could not talk much as her english very limited,,,and her cantonese also jia liat,,,and she is a very shy gal,,her family very strict with her,,,when she in school and uni,,,had to go home straight away after school,,cannot go out at night and so on,,,but in the cab she chat with the taxi driver like no tomorrow,,,and its pretty normal,,even for conservative gals,,,(i told my fren about this and was told is pretty normal)
bottom line is their attitudes are abit different,,but does not mean they not faithful or having affairs,,but also,,as in all things,,,caution is advised and safety is number 1,, cannot control too tight as will lead to problems in the relationship,,but also have to be sure the gal is not fooling around,,so as not wear to green hat,,,
its a balancing act,,,but so is all relationships,,all the best to u and your gal,,,