Quote:
Originally Posted by haojian
Thank you for all the advice. I paid S$7k to the marriage agency.
we are expecting our son this february. my wife wants to work after she gets her pr. hopefully by january. I am asking her to take care of our son for 3 years, until he goes to school.
she's the eldest of 2 daugthers at home. her younger sister is mentally challenged, so its up to her to help support her parents.
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Hi bro, I guess you would have read the numerous replies by bros in here, by now.
There are various issues that you need to tackle now. Since you got to know your wife from an agency, it also means that you do not know her well.. Its not to say that she is definitely bad or definitely out to cheat you. Many bros in here meant well when they post their comments. You may start to get defensive and think ppl are against you but do not think in this way... they are just telling you some cold hard facts that you might or might not encounter in the coming months with your wife together....
You have to keep in mind that yours is a marriage of convenience....you to get a family-oriented wife or whatever reason you may have and she to get out of poverty...... So in the very beginning, both yours and your wife's mindset are very skewed and thus will definitely have very different expectations of each other. This will be the FIRST obstacle that you will have to contend with....that is...BRIDGING THE GAP IN EXPECTATIONS.
If not handled properly, it will lead to many many other issues....
I will have to write an essay if I were to tell you the many issues in a marriage with vn gals but at the end of the day, the most important thing now you must do
is to make your wife realise that you and her and your baby is going to be the main priority now.
Unless you can well afford to - which i doubt you can, not because I look down on you but by the way you thought of using the baby bonus - provide for your family in singapore first. You can start by sending back $200-$500 depending on how comfortable you are, It is definitely sufficient to feed her family back home, since you said they live in the provinces.
Other issues like buy cow, buy house, buy land...you can leave till later...You have to be careful how you put it across to your wife....beware of cultural differences when communicating....you can read my thread for some examples....
Good Luck!
