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When rich parents overindulge their children
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VietNamNet Bridge – Vietnamese psychologists have rung the alarm bell over the “children overindulgence phenomenon” which has appeared in modern times, when rich people throw their money through the window to satisfy all the wishes of their children.

It was raining when the 3-year old son of Thuy, who lives in Phu My Hung new urban area in District 7 in HCM City cried endlessly, though his parents and grandparents made every efforts to soothe him. The problem was that the boy wanted to go out to play in the rain, while his parents could not satisfy him, because they feared the boy would catch a cold.

When the boy got hoarse because of too much crying, Thuy’s mother had a good idea. She picked up the phone and called to a taxi firm. When the taxi came, she gave the taxi driver 200,000 dong and asked him to drive around the city so the boy could see the rain from the car windows.

It seemed that the boy was satisfied with the good idea of the grandmother. He stopped crying and burst out laughing.

“If the grandmother had thought of this earlier, the boy would not have cried,” Thuy’s husband said.

The boy goes to an international kindergarten where his parents pay $500 a month for tuition. The grandmother always says her grandson has to study too hard, so she always tries to buy as many gifts for the grandson as possible.

Every day, when the boy is still at classes, the grandmother goes to toy shops to look for toys for her grandson. Robots worth hundreds of thousands of dong or remote control cars are the valuable gifts that wait for the boy every day when he returns from school.

As the result, the boy tends to expect new toys every day. If the grandmother is busy and cannot purchase toys for the boy, he cries endlessly.

Like Thuy, Trang, who lives in Thao Dien urban area in District 2 in HCM City, also has her own way to indulge her son.

Trang’s son is now 13 years old, but he weights 64 kilograms. However, in the eyes of Trang and her husband, the boy is still thin and he needs to eat more.

A special diet has been designed for the boy. Every day, besides the food reserved for the whole family, the boy can have additional food.

Trang and her husband both follow a golden rule that their son is always right that an idea is considered “creative” when it does not resemble any one else’s.

One time, after returning from the trip to Da Lat where the boy went together with the whole class, the boy related about the trip to parents:

“We enjoyed the trip very much. We slept together on the beds we put together. Tuan, a friend of mine, took a shower and sprayed water into the floor. Because of the minor mistake, the owner of the hotel scolded him. However, Tuan’s father, who is very rich and has a lot of houses in big cities across the country, replied: ‘Your hotel is just as large as my garage. You are a businessman, and you must understand that your clients are God.’” After that, the hotel owner had to leave without saying anything.”

The boy’s parents applauded this tale.

“Look, when you have money, you can force other people to serve you,” the boy’s father said.

According to Thai Thanh Thuy, Head of the Psychology Ward of the Nhi Dong 2 Hospital in HCM City, when parents overindulge their children, they aim to satisfy themselves. However, it will be the children who will suffer later, because they will suffer from a personality disorder that makes them unable to integrate into society.

Thuy calls this the “children overindulgence phenomenon” which accounts for 40 percent of the total cases that need consultancy at the psychology ward of the hospital.

Thuy said that when children clamor for unreasonable things parents need to say “no,” and when children make mistakes they need to be punished.

In Trang’s son’s case, Doctor Thuy said it is not the fault of the boy, but the systematic fault of the whole family. Thuy said when children are over seven years, it is very difficult to give psychological treatment because their personality has already developed.



Thanh Huyen