Quote:
Originally Posted by TurtleStreets
@ Peacekeeping bro is correct
Nothing is ever free whether it be FL or spouse. If you just want the milk, you don't necessarily need to buy the cow.
Furthermore, @ larue 's cost benefit analysis approach is a rational take on relationships. However, humans are not rational creatures. Our reasoning processes are always muddled by emotions and moods and rather susceptible to bias.
Humans are not rational. I do feel that we are more of 'rationalising'.
We tend to try to justify the reason for our actions with what we perceive as 'sound' logic. It usually done post-action.
So, I would argue that by being 'ultra-realistic', we cannot always have a full grasp of rational thinking. Even more so for relationships. Unless, you are one of those enlightened/actualised people. But then again, a person of such spiritual (or whatever you call it) cultivation, would be detached from worldy things.
Thank you everyone for the input. |
What you call ‘rationalising’ is in fact a well studied psychological phenomenon known as Motivated Reasoning.
And you are absolutely right, human beings are by and large irrational, and full of biases and -isms, and many are completely incapable of even a moment’s rationality.
This does not change the fact that we should all try not to let emotions and inbuilt biases affect that way we approach life and relationships.
This often requires a conscious rewiring of the brain so to speak, but most people will never achieve it because of the initial pain this invariably inflicts on one’s ego.
It is possible that 9 in 10 people reading this made up their mind to disagree by the third line already because it conflicts with their own worldview, simply because it hurts to have one’s own convictions questioned.
What I have callously called a cost benefit analysis is really little more than thinking really hard about what one wants from a relationship, without lying to oneself about it.
It’s avoiding the lying that is hard, and you already seem to know that.