Hubby: No matter how much I do, she constantly criticises me

[Klein76]

Hi All ,

I just cut and paste from the other forum , I think i also fall into this league just that i dont earn a 5 figures income . Wonder does all married man faced the same situation , it seem to be so true and it also happening to me ...
So end of the day is Divorced the ultimate solution? Any comment ?


Hubby: No matter how much I do, she constantly criticises me

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I AM 39, married with two young kids and living in an upper middle class residental area. I hold a senior managerial position in an MNC and am earning a five-figure salary. From the outside we seem to have everything that makes a happy family but deep inside, my marriage is rotting day by day. A day without argument is considered a good day.

Although both of us work, I pay for 95 per cent of the household expenses. I also do a big share of the chores, from dishes and laundry to childcare. I help my kids with homework after a long workday while she works from nine to five in a relaxing environment (as she says). She hardly cooks at home and I never demand that she does.

The problem is no matter how much I do, she constantly criticises me whenever things go wrong, and even in front of other people. In the past 10 years, she has never given me a single compliment though some of my female colleagues think I am an ideal husband.

We used to share common interests but those things don’t appeal to her anymore. She now spends hours every day with her girlfriends and watching television.

My wife is unhappy whenever my family or relatives come to visit, though they are nice to her. Feeling unwelcome, they now avoid visiting. In contrast her family and relatives can come and stay as and when they like and she doesn’t bother to ask my permission. The same goes for almost everything in this marriage. To avoid a fight I give in. I think I can take all these if I got some appreciation, but it never comes.

My male colleagues and friends make fun that I am queen-controlled and that I reject most invitations to go out with them even when I want to as these will upset her. Now they don’t even bother asking me out.

To make matters worse, my wife constantly rejects my advances, making me feel like the biggest loser in the world. We have not had sex for more than a year and we don’t talk much except when necessary in daily routines. She says it is normal for women to not want sex and I should respect her feelings. I am reasonably fit and good-looking as women still look at me, but I have kept faithful.

I don’t think divorce is an option as it will affect my children. I’ve tried many times to get counselling but my wife has refused. Now I am willing to pay for all financial needs in exchange for some life for myself. I will be much happier staying alone. Sometimes I want to die in an accident so that my kids will remember me as a good dad before I do anything that will harm my name.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

that is the problem wih SG women nowadays..because they are so well educated and westernised that they expect us to give in to their every needs and wants all the time..we do not want to quarrel with them because we just want harmoney and peace in the relationship but they do not understand and instead get from bad to worse..

sometimes want to have a good talk with them also cannot because their brains are already so hard-wired with those "i'm a woman so you must give in to me" mentality..perhaps the best way to rectify this is to set things straight in the beginning of the relationship..do not give in to them unnecessarily and "train" them to at least being a decent and reasonable woman..if you feel that that could not be done then seriously don't marry her..i believe there are still decent girls out there..

saddest part is when the author wished to die so that at least his children will remember him for being a good father..this is really very sad..very sad...

[cuntjigger]

Tink best is to bonk her asshole in order to remind her who's in charge....my 0.02 cts worth of opinion!

[jadedragon]

Bro,

It happens to me 4yrs ago. Nowadays I find most though not all SG womans are like your wife.. Super high demands... Am earning an average income but enough to support ex-wife. Bought almost anything she ask for. Car, travels and all other household expenses as she was not working for at least 6mths or more. Just rotting at home as she claim that could find a job or it is stressful or pay too low for her... (which high paying job arent stressful) Fact is that she just want to rot at home.

like you, i gave in to all her demands as we are husband and wife. Things got worse day by day. I did entertain your thought od going to die but didnt. Everyday was like thinking would i still be enduring her 10yrs down the road?

1 fine day, even caught her committing adultery! Finally opt for the best option, Divorce. Although its not the best, it is the last option to me. lucky for me is i got no childrens.. Now am living a carefree and happy life. hope you will find a way out of your current mess too.

[boyz2man]

Originally Posted by *FiReWoRkS*

that is the problem wih SG women nowadays..because they are so well educated and westernised that they expect us to give in to their every needs and wants all the time..we do not want to quarrel with them because we just want harmoney and peace in the relationship but they do not understand and instead get from bad to worse..

sometimes want to have a good talk with them also cannot because their brains are already so hard-wired with those "i'm a woman so you must give in to me" mentality..perhaps the best way to rectify this is to set things straight in the beginning of the relationship..do not give in to them unnecessarily and "train" them to at least being a decent and reasonable woman..if you feel that that could not be done then seriously don't marry her..i believe there are still decent girls out there..

saddest part is when the author wished to die so that at least his children will remember him for being a good father..this is really very sad..very sad...

Well said! Upz u for dat.

[tazmo]

Originally Posted by jadedragon

Bro,

It happens to me 4yrs ago. Nowadays I find most though not all SG womans are like your wife.. Super high demands... Am earning an average income but enough to support ex-wife. Bought almost anything she ask for. Car, travels and all other household expenses as she was not working for at least 6mths or more. Just rotting at home as she claim that could find a job or it is stressful or pay too low for her... (which high paying job arent stressful) Fact is that she just want to rot at home.

like you, i gave in to all her demands as we are husband and wife. Things got worse day by day. I did entertain your thought od going to die but didnt. Everyday was like thinking would i still be enduring her 10yrs down the road?

1 fine day, even caught her committing adultery! Finally opt for the best option, Divorce. Although its not the best, it is the last option to me. lucky for me is i got no childrens.. Now am living a carefree and happy life. hope you will find a way out of your current mess too.

it's sad, but at least u're living happily now ... it sucks how women nowadays are so materialistic, it never used to be so bad in the past... probably becos of the society nowadays, everything also talk about $$$

[LauYewTee]

I am really upset for the auther of that. My heart goes out to him. Personally, after reading it, it has come to my attention that marriage like those are on the rise. I have heard about stuff like that time and time again(here sometimes ) and its really aweful to know that such things are happening.

I would like to quote a fellow forumer for this; If I am hungry and dont get to eat at home, I'll just eat else where. Simple as that. Cash & Lust'

[sexaddicted]

Bro, look at the bright side of ur life, aren't ur kids give u wonderful time then trying to having sex with ut wife? I m jus like u, after my wife give birth to the second child we did not have sex nearly a year. Sometime I also wonder she outside got fling or not. But rather use my mind to think of all this I rather put more effort on my kids. If really didi itch, outside got so many FL from country A-Z. some more can try more pattern/style then doing with wife.

[White_Stork]

I am in the same league. My OC also criticise me every day. Reach home before 5.30pm every day and gave her everything she needs and its still not enough. But I have cash stashed away and another 6 condos purchased without her knowledge. When my kids are grown it will be time for me to make my much awaited exit.

[alvin36]

Originally Posted by Klein76

Hi All ,

I just cut and paste from the other forum , I think i also fall into this league just that i dont earn a 5 figures income . Wonder does all married man faced the same situation , it seem to be so true and it also happening to me ...
So end of the day is Divorced the ultimate solution? Any comment ?


Hubby: No matter how much I do, she constantly criticises me

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I AM 39, married with two young kids and living in an upper middle class residental area. I hold a senior managerial position in an MNC and am earning a five-figure salary. From the outside we seem to have everything that makes a happy family but deep inside, my marriage is rotting day by day. A day without argument is considered a good day.

Although both of us work, I pay for 95 per cent of the household expenses. I also do a big share of the chores, from dishes and laundry to childcare. I help my kids with homework after a long workday while she works from nine to five in a relaxing environment (as she says). She hardly cooks at home and I never demand that she does.

The problem is no matter how much I do, she constantly criticises me whenever things go wrong, and even in front of other people. In the past 10 years, she has never given me a single compliment though some of my female colleagues think I am an ideal husband.

We used to share common interests but those things don’t appeal to her anymore. She now spends hours every day with her girlfriends and watching television.

My wife is unhappy whenever my family or relatives come to visit, though they are nice to her. Feeling unwelcome, they now avoid visiting. In contrast her family and relatives can come and stay as and when they like and she doesn’t bother to ask my permission. The same goes for almost everything in this marriage. To avoid a fight I give in. I think I can take all these if I got some appreciation, but it never comes.

My male colleagues and friends make fun that I am queen-controlled and that I reject most invitations to go out with them even when I want to as these will upset her. Now they don’t even bother asking me out.

To make matters worse, my wife constantly rejects my advances, making me feel like the biggest loser in the world. We have not had sex for more than a year and we don’t talk much except when necessary in daily routines. She says it is normal for women to not want sex and I should respect her feelings. I am reasonably fit and good-looking as women still look at me, but I have kept faithful.

I don’t think divorce is an option as it will affect my children. I’ve tried many times to get counselling but my wife has refused. Now I am willing to pay for all financial needs in exchange for some life for myself. I will be much happier staying alone. Sometimes I want to die in an accident so that my kids will remember me as a good dad before I do anything that will harm my name.

one of my good male frd also facing similar problems. he is msian PR here, have condo in singapore and houses in JB. he runs his own biz.

A few of us male frds to give him good advice. One important thing is money and property to settle when divorced. If he is planning to divorced, he must he careful. Talk to lawyer first. Must find ways to "hide" his money and property.... must ways to hide with someone he can trust, frds or relatives.

SO when times come, he should pretend that he facing biz failure, and not much to give to the wife when divorced.

Once settled, just ask her to fuck off.

[jbauer79]

Actually saw this in a section in Malaysia The Star Newspaper last sunday.
The guy wrote in to complain that he is being bitch slapped by his wife

[big_dick]

Bro hope you feel better knowing that u're not the only one.

Please allow me to express my humble one cent worth.

Is not about being educated, Singaporean or whatever....is all about being a woman. With a CB, (most of) these creatures somehow can never be "satisfied". No matter how much you earn, how much you do, how considerate you are, you will always be critized (sorry if wrong spelling) after some time.

Me-self has the same problem and somehow I am known to be very considerate with attention to personal detail person (not blowing own trumpet, this feedback from others, even from FL!). Perhaps I am a loser by this standard but somehow I still kana cannon by OC practically at least 5 times a week.

Over the course of time as I stray and linger on and off, I have discovered one thing; (having relationships with)FL and OC are basically the same. Both just keeps asking and demanding. Only difference is that with OC you have a moral and legal obligation to stand by through thick and thin.

It's difficult to understand but I already give up; just try to live by my own time and standard when I'm outside "running" and try to "switch off" and bite the bullet when I come back.

As the advert goes;

we men just don't get it....

[jbauer79]

Actually saw this in a section in Malaysia The Star Newspaper last sunday.
The guy wrote in to complain that he is being bitch slapped by his wife

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by White_Stork

But I have cash stashed away and another 6 condos purchased without her knowledge. When my kids are grown it will be time for me to make my much awaited exit.

You know, when I was growing up, stashing cash is an advice given to housewives who depends on their husbands for money. It's sad and very common for that advice to be given to husbands these days, regardless of whether it's a single or double income household. My worry for you is that if divorce really occurs, those 6 condos may be assets acquired after marriage.

If I were you, I will go see an accountant to set up a BVI account. Try to transfer ownership of my assets (including these houses) to an account in a tax-friendly regime. If divorce really happens, I know these 6 houses are still mine to leave behind for my kids.

[easygoing228]

Gosh...Now then I know so many Bros here having tis sort of "LIFE"...

Well, at least I'm not alone...