please help me

funnylove · #1 09-08-2014, 05:50 PM

I hesitate to write this but I am very confused.

I am married for 8 years. My relationship with my wife is not perfect. Sometimes I felt she is more like a companion than a wife. Sometimes I do not know if I still love her. We had no kids because my wife cannot have intercourse. This also means that I had never had sex for this period. I have high sex drive but my wife sex drive is low. Despite that she did not help me in any way to release my urge. I end up having to masturbate most of the time when I am having urge. Like one of the brother here, I snore during sleep. So for the past years, we slept separately in 2 different room. Our intimacy is really to the minimum.

It is until 3 months ago, I chance across FL PRC in this forum. I tried a few to release my urge. Some good some bad but I always left unsatisfied even after a good fuck.

Then in July, I got to know this PRC FL. We got along quite well and I end up visiting her almost every week (sometimes just chit chat no sex). Somehow, I realize that I am not only wanting sex. I wanted love. My feeling for her grew and I told her about it. She told me she wouldn't believe these things as she had been hurt before. One day, she asked me if I am married and I did not want to cheat her, so i said yes. I could see tears flowing down from her eyes and she said 'why, another one?' My heart sank.

She told me if I wanted to carry on this, many close ones will be hurt by my decision and I have to be aware. She also asked me what is the thing that I like about her. We still meet after that and during our chit chats, we will talk about her family in china and sometimes i will tell her about my marriage.

I really like her and think of her everyday even at work. I hate my marriage which I felt should end a few years ago during one of the hundreds of big fight but i still care for my wife. I had to, we are still married.

Last week, I couldn't take it anymore and for the first time. I told my wife that I did not love her anymore and am taking care of her due to the paper signed. We both cried. It is not easy, I lost several nights of sleep thinking of this. She said she will change but actually my heart is no more here. Things had not be better after that. We grew even further apart now.

I do not know what to do; shall I go for divorce?
I might end with nothing as I do not know if the PRC FL will accept me.
Having heard of so many cased of brothers cheated by PRC, is my r/s with her true?

I am really very confused.

TohYH · #2 09-08-2014, 07:02 PM

You should love your wife

HoWT · #3 09-08-2014, 09:46 PM

Don't divorse. divorse is very expensive.

Moreover it is not 100% that the 2nd marriage will turn out perfect.

Then it is your choice

Canon246 · #4 09-08-2014, 11:32 PM

Just go and live a new life with the PRC FL. I got frens who happily married PRC And Thai FL, having good life now with kids and a loving wife. You never try you never know...
You and your wife sex life already got problem before kids....imagine got kids how? I think completely no sex life liao....

人生有多少个几十年?

Good luck with your newly found path...

fictionman · #5 10-08-2014, 11:03 AM

How can u even think of leavin ur wife for a FL!!!!...

Johnbass · #6 10-08-2014, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funnylove

Then in July, I got to know this PRC FL. We got along quite well and I end up visiting her almost every week (sometimes just chit chat no sex).

I do not know what to do; shall I go for divorce?

Question to help answer your divorce question...
Do you pay $$$ to have chitchat-no-sex session with your PRC FL?

prettymannequin · #7 10-08-2014, 11:37 AM

Whether you're divorcing your wife and whether you get together with the FL should be two different matters.

Divorce your wife if sex means that much to you, and you totally cannot see a future with her anymore. Neither of you deserve to be trapped in a loveless marriage just because of a paper.

The FL issue... I'm sure you know of many bros' encounters. Tread with caution.

James Porn · #8 10-08-2014, 11:48 AM

You need a break from both your wife and your PRC lover. Call it a cooling period and go somewhere (I am not sure of your resources, it is for you to work it out) just be alone to sort out your feelings and thoughts. Give it a few weeks, even months if need be, until you feel unbearable to be separate from .. is it your wife or the PRC lover?

I think you owe it to yourself, your wife and your lover to find out. Chances are, you could head back to your wife of 8 years. Sex is not everything, you just need to work it out in the best way (your own way)

Good luck!

steelhorn · #9 10-08-2014, 01:22 PM

Bro, your wife did u no wrong from your story. You guys never know about the 'problems' before marriage? Never slept before until marriage? If these problems starts surfacing recently, then talk it out. I'm sure we could reach some concensus if both of you are serious about this relationship. Having divorce your wife for an FL is concretely, definitely not an option in my context. She done u no wrong dude! Some form of constructive communication channels is seriously needed here between the both of you. Becos is almost on the brink of separation.
Making love connect husband and wife dearly,
But is not everything in a marriage.
TALK IT OUT DUDE!

Hurricane88 · #10 10-08-2014, 02:06 PM

TS - what kind of help do you need...

You willing to divorce and go for a whore...

Any divorce in sinkie, women charter apply...if you dun understand then read up...

Bninja · #11 10-08-2014, 02:38 PM

7 years of Itchines,yours is 8.So if you married the PR girl also will back to square one.Either way you will suffer dude,divorce or not.So sort out the best solution to your life and move on.My friend is marrying a Viet wife soon,hes 53 yr old,gal 24 yr old.Wtf doesnt he even know the consequences after he signed paper...just like you do.

funnylove · #12 10-08-2014, 03:31 PM

It's been very tough the last 2 days. She hated me for what I said and things never improved. Last night, we talked again. I told her about the problems and she do not want us to split. She said she is willing to change and she regretted taking me for granted. I agree to patch up with her but deep inside I felt I still cannot let go of the PRC FL.

Even though I agree to continue with my wife, my heart is no longer with her. This shows as I am unable to treat her the way like last time. I spoke to her again just an hour ago. We cried again. She said she didn't want to leave me and willing to be a better person. I felt so helpless and I do not know what to do. She begged me. If I would told her about the PRC FL, I think she will hate me and be stronger to face it but I didn't. At the end, I told her I would give ourselves a chance. I'm not sure if I can forget the PRC FL.

God help me please.

HappyOwl · #13 10-08-2014, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funnylove

It's been very tough the last 2 days. She hated me for what I said and things never improved. Last night, we talked again. I told her about the problems and she do not want us to split. She said she is willing to change and she regretted taking me for granted. I agree to patch up with her but deep inside I felt I still cannot let go of the PRC FL.

Even though I agree to continue with my wife, my heart is no longer with her. This shows as I am unable to treat her the way like last time. I spoke to her again just an hour ago. We cried again. She said she didn't want to leave me and willing to be a better person. I felt so helpless and I do not know what to do. She begged me. If I would told her about the PRC FL, I think she will hate me and be stronger to face it but I didn't. At the end, I told her I would give ourselves a chance. I'm not sure if I can forget the PRC FL.

God help me please.

Bro. funnylove, a woman who spend almost half a lifetime of yours, to be with you. Now she is begging you. What more do you want from her?

funnylove · #14 10-08-2014, 03:51 PM

The marriage is rocky from the start even during the courtship. We married 8 years and the first 3 years we quarrel and fight every now and then till neighbors can hear. There are a few instances I nearly commit suicide, in fact i did commit suicide once during courtship due to the pressure of meeting her demands. My wife told me during that period, she too went for divorce seminar and many consultants there ask her to leave me but she told me she believe in our marriage so she decided to change her ways and carried on.

Many of you ask me why would I leave for a PRC FL. What I can say is that she is just the trigger point. It is with her that I realize how much I had been giving and sacrificing my needs for my wife. I want to be selfish for once. There are things that she can never give me. What I want is to go out there and give myself another chance. To see what I had been missing.

HappyOwl · #15 10-08-2014, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by funnylove

My wife told me during that period, she too went for divorce seminar and many consultants there ask her to leave me but she told me she believe in our marriage so she decided to change her ways and carried on.

How true can her words be? Some women used it as a means to tame down their egoistic husband? Some women used the wrong approach trying to bring back the original man whom she used to love? She didn't believes in the whole marriage for the sake of the marriage, she believes in you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by funnylove

Many of you ask me why would I leave for a PRC FL. What I can say is that she is just the trigger point.

Do you think this is an act of spike against her for what she had done to disappoint you, out of emotions?

Would you consider it will be better to clear off from any woman first? Clear your thoughts well alone, before making a logical decision?