What is your married relationship like?

[Flinger2]

Hi,

Anyone care to share what your married relationship is like ?

1 Partnership - Do both consider each other partners and support each other and the responsibilities ? equal ownership in financial commitment + house work. Both of come together negotiate on what you want and come to mutual agreement.

2 Breadwinner by choice - You do not want your wife to work and she gets everything from you . You are the final say in the house although your wife gets to voice her opinion but you make the decision. All financial decisions are made by you . All housework is done by your wife . You might get her a maid to help her but you won't touch a thing of house work. You expect her to cook and have meals ready by the time you are back, if not you get pissed. It is part of her duties.

3 Breadwinner not by Choice - Your wife does not want to work even though you don't have kids . She just wants to be a housewife and want you to take care of her and provide for her needs. All financial decisions is done by you and she is not interested, as long as you provide for her needs. You are expected to share the housework with her. She does not demand, but often indirectly reminds you how other people are going on holidays and both of you are not, how others are buying material things etc....etc....etc...

If you force her to work, she will get the easiest work and the money she earns will be for her spending.

4. Slave by Choice - You are her slave. You are at her back and call for everything. Your money is hers to spent and her money is for her to spend. You are the provider, if you don't provide , you will get wrath and she will question your manhood.

5. Slave not by Choice - After marriage, she changed and does not want o work anymore. She emotionally blackmails you into thinking that you are the man of the household and you need to provide for her well being. Well being equals to material things, from holidays to buying big house, car, expensive clothes etc....etc....

Please add if there are other types of relationships not added here.

Appreciate if you'll can share your experience or other people's experience you know off in the various types of relationship.

Do people still stay in these relationship or leave?

etc.....

[songbo88]

Mine will be 2

[maxsee]

Single woh...but choice No.1 seems like a good idea....

[sunhuan-con]

Be Single....unless your wife is very submissive type.

[Rythmik]

point 2 is asking for divorce
breadwinner means command and decide everything?
expect meal ready by the time you back?
just get a maid will do
no respect for others is bringing trouble to yourself ....

[Flinger2]

That s what you think. But I know a lot of guys with marriage with this setup. They go looking for woman who are of this type so that they can have their way.... but after married they change a bit instead of 100% control they negotiation to 90% control and 10% wife.

Also, the woman in these type of relationship actually like it. They don't want to work, they just want to be housewife and everything taken care for them. They just want to cook and bake and clean the house and cater the husband whims as long as they get all the things they need.

Originally Posted by Rythmik

point 2 is asking for divorce
breadwinner means command and decide everything?
expect meal ready by the time you back?
just get a maid will do
no respect for others is bringing trouble to yourself ....

[James Porn]

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and my brother in laws (my sisters' husbands) but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

[Flinger2]

A slave is someone who is doing something they don't like but no choice or against their will.

Do you like your lifestyle? Do you enjoy it? Are you happy and satisfied with it?

If you are , then you are not.

However, you feel you have no choice and now that you are married you will forever have to live this way, even though you don't like it, and every feeling and emotions with your wife and in laws is just fake ...then you are slave.

That's just my view point. =)

Originally Posted by James Porn

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and brother in laws but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

[James Porn]

Originally Posted by Flinger2

A slave is someone who is doing something they don't like but no choice or against their will.

Do you like your lifestyle? Do you enjoy it? Are you happy and satisfied with it?

If you are , then you are not.

However, you feel you have no choice and now that you are married you will forever have to live this way, even though you don't like it, and every feeling and emotions with your wife and in laws is just fake ...then you are slave.

That's just my view point. =)

Thanks Bro, I concur with your point of view.

There will be times when my mind stray, can't help it cos we are still humans right? On a tipping scale, I would say I am pretty happy with my life and will continue to live this way. So far I have been given equal respect and pride in my place as a family member.

[Rythmik]

Originally Posted by sunhuan-con

Be Single....unless your wife is very submissive type.

provided she is also happy staying that way .. else not fair to her

[bigbrudder]

Originally Posted by James Porn

X) Married only daughter and only child. Known her since childhood days. Went overseas and studied same uni, different course and fees, accommodation and food paid by her family. Graduated from Uni, came back to work for her family business. She stays home while I assist with the business. Travel and entertain with father and my brother in laws (my sisters' husbands) but no hanky panky even at KTV. I am used to my life. Call me a slave?

Sounds like someone I know, except she wasn't the only child. At least you slept your way to success? (in a way)

[James Porn]

Originally Posted by bigbrudder

Sounds like someone I know, except she wasn't the only child. At least you slept your way to success? (in a way)

Technically true. That's why I was drawn to this interesting thread with a title "What is your married relationship like?". It somehow resonates my current status and how I got into this situation.

Things can get pretty sticky if I ever do anything out of line, if you know what I mean. It has its pros and cons like everything else in life. Life is to be enjoyed, c'est la vie !

[bigbrudder]

Originally Posted by James Porn

Technically true. That's why I was drawn to this interesting thread with a title "What is your married relationship like?". It somehow resonates my current status and how I got into this situation.

Things can get pretty sticky if I ever do anything out of line, if you know what I mean. It has its pros and cons like everything else in life. Life is to be enjoyed, c'est la vie !

I understand your predicament.

I am quite the opposite, housing everything from my side of the family. I always think if it will easier (life and career) wise if I have hooked up with a richer side. They can open doors, but I may not choose to be in the family company.

At least you dun have to worry about providing for the family.

[James Porn]

Originally Posted by bigbrudder

I understand your predicament.

I am quite the opposite, housing everything from my side of the family. I always think if it will easier (life and career) wise if I have hooked up with a richer side. They can open doors, but I may not choose to be in the family company.

At least you dun have to worry about providing for the family.

Most of the guys I know are like yourself, the main provider with very clear and defined roles and accountabilities. My predicament as you understand comes in many forms and can be pretty complex if I let my mind wander. For eg, alone in a foreign land, my deepest concerns (and frustration) is when an attractive lady meets my eyes and lightly smile, my first thought would be "could this be a honey trap?" I must admit I have taken a few chances in the past, but the experiences have been more of 'less joy due to fear of being caught'

I am expressing myself in this manner, probably due to the 7 year old myth. I can't say I am not happy with my present married life, I am. It is just the naughty side that comes up every now and then.

Have fun bros!

[dreamz2289]

Originally Posted by James Porn

Most of the guys I know are like yourself, the main provider with very clear and defined roles and accountabilities. My predicament as you understand comes in many forms and can be pretty complex if I let my mind wander. For eg, alone in a foreign land, my deepest concerns (and frustration) is when an attractive lady meets my eyes and lightly smile, my first thought would be "could this be a honey trap?" I must admit I have taken a few chances in the past, but the experiences have been more of 'less joy due to fear of being caught'

I am expressing myself in this manner, probably due to the 7 year old myth. I can't say I am not happy with my present married life, I am. It is just the naughty side that comes up every now and then.

Have fun bros!

I agree with you bro. Think every guy is like that. I am married for 3 years and my mind wonders the same thing as well. Especially when I go overseas for work. I am happy with my wife, but also wonder what it will be like if I got together with my past girlfriends.

But at the end of the day, every guy has to be responsible for the promise they made and support the family. If we all had our ways, we would go chiong around but we made a big promise on the wedding day. So I guess have to keep to the promise. If you dont want then I guess don't get married.