I fell in love with my colleague :(

[bootybonker]

sorry for being incoherent and all over the place.
i cant write well and this dilemma just makes it even worse.

[BowBow]

I had been similar situation which I had posted my reply on other thread.
My ending = 两头不到岸, screwed up my life and others in the same time. As a normal human being, feeling does grow especially spending so much time struggling through difficult times at work. When this occurs for instance like me, I would start to wander my thoughts and think what if I'm not married etc ..... One thing which had been shifted my focus was my SO, I had forgotten how she tried to accommodate me and ensure I can concentrate on work where she spend her time being a home maker ......

You can lost your current friendship since you can't cry over spilled milk, but does this friendship worth well to position your SO in a very rocky stance ?

Cheers bro .....

时间是我们最好的药

[Xyberduke]

Why didn't you ask her to be your girlfriend explicitly?

Girls don't like men who beats around the bush... You only see that in movies. In real life and in Singapore, they want decisive men!

It is already awkward so there is nothing to loose, you need to conclude this or you will live another day in peace.

Walk right up to her tomorrow and ask her if she can be your girlfriend. Just go straight to the point.

If she rejects you, then be man enough to say. "Ok, I guess we just have to remain as friends. It has been awkward and I have been avoiding you. I want that to stop so that we can be normal friends again."

If she accepts you, please slow down your heartbeat and recompose yourself before you say the next sentence that may screw you up. cheers and good luck.

[bootybonker]

Originally Posted by BowBow

I had been similar situation which I had posted my reply on other thread.
My ending = 两头不到岸, screwed up my life and others in the same time. As a normal human being, feeling does grow especially spending so much time struggling through difficult times at work. When this occurs for instance like me, I would start to wander my thoughts and think what if I'm not married etc ..... One thing which had been shifted my focus was my SO, I had forgotten how she tried to accommodate me and ensure I can concentrate on work where she spend her time being a home maker ......

You can lost your current friendship since you can't cry over spilled milk, but does this friendship worth well to position your SO in a very rocky stance ?

Cheers bro .....

时间是我们最好的药

Thanks bro.


Anyway im trying my best to move on. Spending more time with my wife. But i cant help my mind from wandering. Its as if time stopped at the moment when i confessed to my colleague. I moved on physically but mentally im still there 1 mth ago.

[bootybonker]

Originally Posted by Xyberduke

Why didn't you ask her to be your girlfriend explicitly?

Girls don't like men who beats around the bush... You only see that in movies. In real life and in Singapore, they want decisive men!

It is already awkward so there is nothing to loose, you need to conclude this or you will live another day in peace.

Walk right up to her tomorrow and ask her if she can be your girlfriend. Just go straight to the point.

If she rejects you, then be man enough to say. "Ok, I guess we just have to remain as friends. It has been awkward and I have been avoiding you. I want that to stop so that we can be normal friends again."

If she accepts you, please slow down your heartbeat and recompose yourself before you say the next sentence that may screw you up. cheers and good luck.

I need explanations on our closeness before...

[BowBow]

Originally Posted by bootybonker

I dunno bro. Its like we both are very much against affairs. We talked about it about our friends who did it and we were very strong against it. She always held me in high regard for being a great senior at work, A doting husband and great friend.
I guess i blew that pedestal she built for me and put me on, after i confessed. I did told her very frankly yes i still love my wife very much. I dunno this must be the worst confession ever. Its like im confessing my love for her yet i want her to know it and pretend it didnt happen.
Maybe thats why shes pissed? (Im just assumimg)

It does seem she is trying to avoid one on one time with me. Maybe shes afraid of me pulling her over for a hug or a kiss and things could get ugly.. she might slap me bla bla bla. Its all in my mind.

When we parted i did told her sorry for making this awkward. She said yeah it was really awkward but let what happened then stay there. I agreed and said yes we shd move on. I gave her a side hug to reaffirm the friendliness. Now it seems shes always dodging me or keeping a small distance like an invisible barrier whenever we talk. Its hurting me alot. We used to have zero distance. Shoulders joined. Sometimes legs side by side. Lots of physical contact. Tell me even if shes the daftest n least sensitive girl around... will a girl let a guy touch her that often and not move away if shea not interestes? We often held each others hand or touch each other face just to show how cold our hands are. I missed that kind of closeness.

My question now is. Did she actually have feelings for me all along but either she didnt read too much into it or shes juat going with the flow and happy with whatever scraps of time and contact we had with one another.

And now shes avoiding me cos i lifted the lid off her cover and she had to act like a prude to show shes not keen to be a mistress or be involved in an affair. Cos we both are very much against ppl who have affairs. So she didnt wan to destroy my impression of her like how i dunwan to destroy her impression of me.

I just want to know.
I did ask her during my confession did she like me. She was blushing damn hard and struggling to string a proper sentence. She did say she was totally unaware that i liked her and im like a best friend to her. Maybe its her real thought i dunno. But her body language always says otherwise.

If we truly are just best friends. Why is she avoidimg me now? Given her character she shd be moving forward as if nothing happened.

So did she have feelings for me? This is what i wanna know. And how can i get the truth from her? Even if the truth is that she realy jus treat me as a friend. I need explanations on our closeness before...

Actually bro what you need now is not truth but is to move on. If she had feeling for you and are your going to have kinda of underground affair ? Mine story maybe kinda of Long to be shared here and I don't wish to waste other users time going through. From my experience, you might be or might not be enjoying the feeling of enjoying the feeling of possessing one who you know you are unable to .... Just give yourself a thought if both of your would be able to progress to couple (assuming you had your divorce done and she had her r/s ended), will your still enjoying what your are enjoying now ?

得不到的永远是最珍贵的。

Straighten your thoughts are I believe you will get out from it soon...

[gjlow]

You will get over it in time but suspect for your case will take longer as you meet her everyday at work. Try to focus on other things.

[jameschong1]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by BowBow

得不到的永远是最珍贵的。

for one time, idiot like u is right!

得不到的永远是最珍贵的。- this is what my massage girl at zh keep telling me.

[randyrockhard]

Originally Posted by bootybonker

My question now is. Did she actually have feelings for me all along but either she didnt read too much into it or shes juat going with the flow and happy with whatever scraps of time and contact we had with one another.

The answer is simple. The fact that You are married simply stopped her in her path. A woman is a woman afterall. If a man consistently shows that he cares for her. At one point they would know. They always know and perhaps they may or may not develop something back, but they know. Even when you don't say a word.

The idea for the possibility of two of you together must have at least already come across her mind. But the thing is, you are MARRIED and that confession you did made this fact even louder, clearer, and more real to her face. If I were her, I would ask myself a simple question .. "How do I know that if I agree to be his lover/wife/whatnots, whether he would do the same thing to me what he did to his wife, by seeing other women?"

Now, as a man, you are ultimately responsible for whatever it is that you have generated. Towards her, towards your wife, towards the commitment you made to the family.

I am not saying that she would return to your arms, in the event that you decided to break your marriage or anything. But what are you looking for really? What happened to the promise you made to your wife? Have you changed as a person, so much that you could no longer see a future together with your wife?

Marriage is never about you or your wife, it's about doing what's best for two of you.

[bootybonker]

Originally Posted by randyrockhard

The answer is simple. The fact that You are married simply stopped her in her path. A woman is a woman afterall. If a man consistently shows that he cares for her. At one point they would know. They always know and perhaps they may or may not develop something back, but they know. Even when you don't say a word.

The idea for the possibility of two of you together must have at least already come across her mind. But the thing is, you are MARRIED and that confession you did made this fact even louder, clearer, and more real to her face. If I were her, I would ask myself a simple question .. "How do I know that if I agree to be his lover/wife/whatnots, whether he would do the same thing to me what he did to his wife, by seeing other women?"

Now, as a man, you are ultimately responsible for whatever it is that you have generated. Towards her, towards your wife, towards the commitment you made to the family.

I am not saying that she would return to your arms, in the event that you decided to break your marriage or anything. But what are you looking for really? What happened to the promise you made to your wife? Have you changed as a person, so much that you could no longer see a future together with your wife?

Marriage is never about you or your wife, it's about doing what's best for two of you.

bro u hit it hard to the point.

Thanks bro for ur advice it was very enlightening and helpful

[bootybonker]

Originally Posted by gjlow

You will get over it in time but suspect for your case will take longer as you meet her everyday at work. Try to focus on other things.

moving on now

[bootybonker]

Originally Posted by BowBow

Actually bro what you need now is not truth but is to move on. If she had feeling for you and are your going to have kinda of underground affair ? Mine story maybe kinda of Long to be shared here and I don't wish to waste other users time going through. From my experience, you might be or might not be enjoying the feeling of enjoying the feeling of possessing one who you know you are unable to .... Just give yourself a thought if both of your would be able to progress to couple (assuming you had your divorce done and she had her r/s ended), will your still enjoying what your are enjoying now ?

得不到的永远是最珍贵的。

Straighten your thoughts are I believe you will get out from it soon...

You are right
得不到的永远是最珍贵的.

[sanuuk]

office relationship is the worst of its kind! if not handle well, it will blow out of proportion and you will be in deep shit not only from the office but your home! End of the day, you left with nothing!

[grimp]

Guys never know girls well enough. They changes all the time. Can be like tht but after marry or become gf different thing. Never make the first approach if your married. It's normal when too much toghter time you feel she like you but actually not. Think about what your wife did for the house and you will know she is always the good one.

[sanuuk2]

Originally Posted by sanuuk

office relationship is the worst of its kind! if not handle well, it will blow out of proportion and you will be in deep shit not only from the office but your home! End of the day, you left with nothing!

Fark serious!