Bad karma ... Should I choose love or sex and ease?

[Reminisce88]

Hi everyone, it's been a long time ever since I visited here (called a pinoy FL on feb) and I didn't post a lot and definitely not noticeable but I do wish to seek opinion and advice for my difficult problems. Below is my story,


In the beginning I was very sexually driven and love to masturbate a lot since 13, not attractive and always looked fierce/wierd. So I started to read about this forum a lot for quite a while and finally on febuary last year, after fantasizing about great and incredible sex I couldn't take it anymore and decided to message this bro and asked him for the number of this pinoy girl. A lot of messed up by my part so girl became annoyed and we met in hotel anyway, right in the lobby with me carrying a schoolbag and preparing to go to school later. It was funny how I did it but we went to room anyway and she bathed and stripped and in a short while I was playing with her tits and kissing her, after that blowjob and sex was numb to me for reasons I didn't knew why as I am not picky on looks. Only reason I could think of was masturbating too hard/fast and too much.

After having sex with her I regretted as she asked for taxi fee, sms during sex and went off early about 30 minutes as well as fear of STD so I stopped looking for bonks and went to register and look for dating sites. There I tried contacting MANY LOCAL GIRLS* but most of them were cold, rude to me and some reject/not reply so I feel they are not at all interested in me (which was quite true). Then some foreigners chatted with me due to curiousity (comes and goes fast too) but I didn't gave up and worked hard to update and write my profile diligently while studying in school and finally while I was about to give up this girl (From Estonia, her profile reads ... I was like wtf is that place???)suddenly hitted up with me and got me surprised and so we chatted about sex and stuff as she seemed open about it. She praised me of how handsome and ideal I look for her after I confessed to her that I didn't look good as I had low self esteem back then, that really made my day. I also looked at her profile pictures, she had a few pictures of herself in bras and panties and a normal photo but I don't find her attractive ... but wierd looking and strange.

After that we chatted a lot more each day and started writing letters to each other, through there I found her to be very depressed and suicidal doing bad things like drugs, alcohol, smoking and sex and I tried to save her from all that. She even told me once day after she knocked out a guy with drink and raped him, that she felt empty and doesn't enjoy it at all. After that she confessed that fell for me, and I accepted. Slowly I taught her to stop harming herself and take care of herself and she started to be more positive and better person (looked better too as reflected on her new photos, everytime). She told me that her family are mostly Russian, and confessed all bad things she did in the past ... bfs she had, times of sex she had and etc and I decided to trust her and give her a chance.



We started to arrange this trip for me to go to her place, lots of problems and high ticket cost ($1.5k for a ticket to her place) but we managed to solve it ... I bought the tickets and she rented apartment. Everyone near me told me it's most likely a KC trap and told me not to fall into it by visiting her, but I strongly believed in my intuition foolishly for love and it turned out that I got everything I wished for ... a perfect girl who is good looking, cute, somewhat muscular, bit hairy and horny (due to sports) and very soft-spoken/gentle, we actually clicked quite well.

Our first meeting and night was so intense and I still could remembered our first hug ... and my first to so many things, but unexpected thing again with sex I felt almost close to no pleasure at all but everything else was perfect. As a couple we do have our fights and arguments but everything got stronger after such episodes. Then there is another thing with her smell* that I can't get used to, it smells fishy and heavy but normal for her and she taste it everyday ... so I am trying hard to overcome that instinct to avoid there* as it smelled bad for me, and taste sour. Sex to her, however was great according to her ... she usually came through vaginal intercourse alone few times and she have good muscles/stamina for it. More I get to know her more I see her good (very loyal and kind to friends and feels like a very devoted lover) and bad points, more I love her.

To me she has a great future as she is studying medicine in university, and very good in sports and could teach others for good pay, but is poor now and her place was hit very hard due to crisis, family problems. But I am already 21 and still studying poly but haven't finished NS and she didn't looked down on me at all accepting me fully who I am, ironically it was me whom was always mean and fussy on her.

So this time round we discussed for her to come to Singapore and see me, but I have to pay for all expenses as she is poor (250 dollars per month allowance only). She never told me to pay for anything but I feel that it is difficult for her to study uni and work at the same time so I made it that way, but I have my own share of problems as everyone near my started to fall ill and a lot of money is needed from our family. I come not from a rich family so we only have $2300 for 3 person, dad is ill and mom is ill ... medication adds up to like 500~600 a month and we need money for my parent's parents so money is a big big headache.

Recently someone in our family passed away, leaving us only with sadness ... more worries about the shared cost of funeral ... about future and about how am I going to do after conscription (NS).

I feel sad after our quarrell <--typo today whenever I thought about love and pleasure I feel sorry for her but I just couldn't tell her and have to keep from her because she doesn't deserve anything like this. She told me that no guys ever interested in her and I'm scared to leave her like that as we seemed so "unwanted" and not "attractive" people, with "wierd" personality.

Problems seemed to be a lot more often and frequent ever since meeting her (her horoscope even said that she might bring misfortune to people close to her, written by her mom) but I don't deny that it made me stronger and our relationship more stable. But sometimes I just couldn't take it any felt like running away like today, I am planning already to give up my pleasure to protect and love this girl my whole life. As to me this is a miracle love connected through 9000 over miles (with a single return flight alone taking nearly 36 hours)... but it is a very hard decision for me to make.

However if I decided to live with her then it's my karma as I used to think and call my mother being misfortunate as their side of family and her always ill and have many family problems, then I remembered my aunt always told me not to call other people ugly/fat/short/suay/stupid/crazy or insult them or next time karma will befall on your beloved ones. So this is my bad karma I am suffering now, believe it or not.

[Cheonging101]

Actually, I think if you got Bad Karma, you would be born with an in-grown dick that is sticking slightly out of our anus, have pus-ridden warts all over your body that hurts like hell when touched and have no one to confide in for the rest of your life.

9,000+ miles away and you get to meet her, you still complain?

Other people live next door also never get to say hello (I'm still finding a chance to up my MILF neighbour)!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by Cheonging101

Other people live next door also never get to say hello (I'm still finding a chance to up my MILF neighbour)!

Take a clue from below:

http://sammythe.guru/adult-d...ucked-not.html

[hoddioo]

take it easy man
if u r poor, work harder and find ways to increase your wealth

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Take a clue from below:

http://sammythe.guru/adult-d...ucked-not.html

No chance to even SAY HELLO lar, bro!

[SpoofPrince]

Choose your own future 1st .... your parents come 1st since they are ill... as for love maybe thta's what pple called "puppy" love.. good luck to u

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Karma = Action.

Karma in a practical & moral sense is about whether your action is right or wrong, good or bad.

Right Action > Good Karma > Good Consequences

Wrong Action > Bad Karma > Bad Consequences

Let's not confuse with Superstition or Karma Sutra.

[HCKing]

not trying to pour cold water to yr miracle love bro but this babe got no european hunks to date in her country but fall in love with handsome you who happens to live 9000 miles away frm her and barely knw each other? faster tell me which dating site u used i wanna try also leh.

[qsnake]

don't worry about Karma my friend. People who believes in Karma are people who are resigned to doing nothing to help themselves out. Remember the story about 2 frogs who fell into a well of milk ? one give up (maybe it believed in bad Karma and felt is was destined to die and it did), the other struggled on and on. The next day, the frog who struggled turned the milk into cheese, it became hard enough for the frog to jump out of the well.
The moral of the story is bad things happens to everyone of us, including the rich (look at the financial crisis). The thing is how to struggle to overcome the bad things that hit us and never just give up and blame it on fate or karma.
Your situation is a financial situation. You have enough on your hands with family commitments, don't burden your family with financial needs. If you need the money for you girlfriend to come over, you need to earn that. Save up till you have enough and then bring her over. The time would be a good test of your relationship with her. You need to look beyond the physical aspect of the relationship. Ang moh girls age very fast. By the time she's 30, she's gonna look 40. So you gotta be sure you love her for who she is and not how her body or face looks like. You also gotta be sure she's not latching on to you because there's no other choice for her. Once she's in Singapore, there's a lot of chinese guys that she might fancy and she would just go after them.

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by qsnake

Ang moh girls age very fast. By the time she's 30, she's gonna look 40.

Madonna is 50 but looks 30 leh...

[qsnake]

Originally Posted by Cheonging101

Madonna is 50 but looks 30 leh...

not everybody spends that many hours in the gym as Madonna. I'm sure she spend tons of money to make herself look good through botox jabs, and so on.

[bestlicker]

TS u r still very young, don't trust the karma thing and just work hard, and wealth and beauty is waiting for you ahead, however if you just blame the karma and wait here then that is the karma, fight against it

[goodpartner]

If this is your first b/g relationiship, I can see how it can be sweet and bitter. Must say you're quite brave given the acts but given your story and thoughts, it's a wise move to let her go.

Both of you seems to be in a somewhat desperate situation for love and companionship, which brought the two together - this is maybe a good match but with all the added issues on distance, finance and culture, it's gonna take a lot more out of you to make it work.

Focus on your career and financial capability for now since you're still young, that'll help your family too. In the course of this, you'll grow in your self esteem and naturally be attractive to a lot more female out there, locally.

In the mean time, try to pcc less and get the feeling for real sex back!

[colins]

Maybe you shouldn't feel that not getting what you want equals to 'bad karma'. For all you know, it may just be the best solution to your life.

[28ahken]

bro my 2 cents if there is a will there is a way think carefully and choose a path that will make you happy and comfortable with. every decision you make is crucial for your life path your still young! have a lots of 10 yrs ahead! i think its important to get your finances and emotion stable 1st before you do anything hastily.