Need some advice

[RobWallace]

Dear Bros,

First of all, I don't want to sound desperate but I really need some serious and honest advice from you guys. I just needed to say somethings out and maybe I will attract a few insensitive comments however I believe there will be others who will understand my situation and maybe offer me some valuable advice. I am a long time admirer of this forum but I have never been to prostitutes or ever had any intention to do anything like that but I do enjoy reading all the stories that members post here. Earlier this year, I met a wonderful person on the internet. To cut long story short, as I can go on about how exactly I met her etc and all other fun details, I will just jump to the current situation. Here are some facts:

*We are deeply in love with each her.
*She is articulate, polite and is from a decent family in the Philippines.
*She is not a prostitute but is working as a webcam model.
*She is a transexual.

I have brought her to Singapore a few months ago and we really felt the love and commitment we have for each other and now it is really difficult for us to stay apart ever since she went back to her country. I promised to her that we will meet every few months until I find a way to live together, either in the Philippines or here in Singapore. Obviously as you can guess, I have not told my family about this yet and I dont intend to do so until I am sure of securing both our futures. In the meantime, I am planning to bring her over again soon and now trying to look for a room to rent for a month.

The problem now is, I feel a little lost regarding how/where I can find a decent room or a home owner who will be able to willing to rent us a room knowing our details. I know how society likes discriminate against transexuals but I just hope there will be at leaast some kind and understanding people who will respect our relationship and allow us to live our life as a normal couple.

To tell you the truth, I knew from the start that giving my heart to a transexual and dreaming of living together is going to be big challenge. But I am willing to give it a shot because we genuinely love each other a lot and this is how I see myself being happy in life. Any of your experiences, or words of advice on my situation will be highly appreciated. In due course if anybody is interested I can update you on my situation or talk more about my relationship. Since I am not able to tell my family or friends about my relationship, is there anywhere i can seek help or counselling regarding issues that are bothering me?

Best wishes.

[SamSeng79]

OMG!!! I really dunno what advice i should give.. Anyway, good luck!!

[BroRelax]

Originally Posted by RobWallace

Dear Bros,

I am a long time admirer of this forum but I have never been to prostitutes or ever had any intention to do anything like that but I do enjoy reading all the stories that members post here. ..................................................


The problem now is, I feel a little lost regarding how/where I can find a decent room or a home owner who will be able to willing to rent us a room knowing our details. I know how society likes discriminate against transexuals but I just hope there will be at leaast some kind and understanding people who will respect our relationship and allow us to live our life as a normal couple.

TS,

Your biggest problem is that you had never experience commerical sex. Go for it and after a while, you will realised what you are doing now is just plain stupid.

[sub2lady2]

Originally Posted by BroRelax

TS,

Your biggest problem is that you had never experience commerical sex. Go for it and after a while, you will realised what you are doing now is just plain stupid.

Well said bro, he is still a kid, dont know what he is trying to do, or this is school holiday

[Bangkok Master]

You have a serious problem lying ahead bro!

Many years ago, I also known a samster who was involved in a relationship with a transvestite while he was holidaying in Pattaya. Like you, he was extremely persistence in moving ahead with it but he never foresee there are tonnes of obstacles ahead which will gradually strain the relationship.

Unless you're damm bloody RICH, THICK-SKINNED and also able to within the pressure that you will be receiving from alot of people including your family, by all means go ahead. Lastly please check carefully whether your gf is pre or post op as it makes hell alot of difference as you wouldn't want to share your undies with her.

GODD LUCK!

[indianmagicoil]

Dear TS, I won't ask as to how you met your "GF" but sounds like u kanna KT leow. U say your "GF" is a webcam model so she just poses & strips infront of the cam to make men jack off? Regardless of your sexual orientation and preferences your limited commercial sex experience has made you think u have found the best fuck (and hence love) of your life. If "experience" chiongsters also can kanna KT what more u?

Don't start this thread and be Class 95 to "hear only the good things". Your relationship has just started so now you only want to get people's approval of what u r embarking on.

Sorry if what I say is a bit harsh but the truth hurts but the truth will set u free. I only can hope that you can wake up from your dream state soon. Good luck!

[RobWallace]

Originally Posted by SamSeng79

OMG!!! I really dunno what advice i should give.. Anyway, good luck!!

Thanks for wishing me luck...I am pretty sure I will need a lot of that

[RobWallace]

Originally Posted by BroRelax

TS,

Your biggest problem is that you had never experience commerical sex. Go for it and after a while, you will realised what you are doing now is just plain stupid.

The thing is, I am sure you will agree experiencing commercial sex and being in love with someone are totally different things. If physical satisfaction is all you seek then you can enjoy a good bonk and forget all other emotional attachments to the person quite easily. However as for myself, I was never into promiscuity and always wanted to give my heart to someone who will not just be my sexual partner but somebody who will genuinely love me back. Do you think it is fair to be termed stupid for being in love with somebody simply because 'society' tells me that loving such a person is not normal? The very same 'society' labels prostitution as being illegal, but is it fair to call people who use such services criminals? of course not.

[RobWallace]

Originally Posted by sub2lady2

Well said bro, he is still a kid, dont know what he is trying to do, or this is school holiday

Yes I am probably much younger than majority of members here. But when was age the perfect indicator for maturity? FYI I am in my late 20s with a professional career, so I don't think I am all that immature not to know what I am trying to do. Thanks for you comment.

[RobWallace]

Originally Posted by Bangkok Master

You have a serious problem lying ahead bro!

Many years ago, I also known a samster who was involved in a relationship with a transvestite while he was holidaying in Pattaya. Like you, he was extremely persistence in moving ahead with it but he never foresee there are tonnes of obstacles ahead which will gradually strain the relationship.

Unless you're damm bloody RICH, THICK-SKINNED and also able to within the pressure that you will be receiving from alot of people including your family, by all means go ahead. Lastly please check carefully whether your gf is pre or post op as it makes hell alot of difference as you wouldn't want to share your undies with her.

GODD LUCK!

Thanks a lot for your advice bro. You are indeed right in saying I have some really serious problems to face for sure. You know my girlfriend and I always talk about these things; about what issues we have to face and how we need to be very patient and trust each other always in order to make this relationship work. So in a way, we are getting mentally prepared to go through each chanllenge as it comes along the way. But you are difinately right, MONEY is the key issue here. As long as I can afford it, there is every chance we can live together one day.

As for being thick-skinned, I already had a little practice when she came over a few months back. Initially I felt a bit nervous but then realised that I had to stop becoming too self-aware and just go about doing my own normal business without worrying about what others might think. Afterall, we do live in a far more liberal society compared to other countried in the region. However, when it comes to facing family and friends, it will be a major issue and I am not sure what I need to do to overcome that problem. All I can think of now is, no matter how they treat me upon knowling the truth, I will always show them all due love and respect. Worst case scenerio is that I might need to pack my bags and settle in some Scandinavian country with her.

Lastly bro, thanks again. I am really grateful for your valuable input.

[RobWallace]

Originally Posted by indianmagicoil

Dear TS, I won't ask as to how you met your "GF" but sounds like u kanna KT leow. U say your "GF" is a webcam model so she just poses & strips infront of the cam to make men jack off? Regardless of your sexual orientation and preferences your limited commercial sex experience has made you think u have found the best fuck (and hence love) of your life. If "experience" chiongsters also can kanna KT what more u?

Don't start this thread and be Class 95 to "hear only the good things". Your relationship has just started so now you only want to get people's approval of what u r embarking on.

Sorry if what I say is a bit harsh but the truth hurts but the truth will set u free. I only can hope that you can wake up from your dream state soon. Good luck!

Thanks for your reply indianmagicoil. Thanks also for telling the harsh truth and I assure you that am not here just to listen to comforting advice I think there is a big difference between love and sexual satisfaction. Just because somebody has been active in the commercial sex scene, does not mean they are more experienced in understanding love. In fact love borne out of sex usually turns out to be an illusion but the act of sex as a result of being in love, is what I believe brings true satisfaction. Actually I am also not here to seek approval of my relationship from people. I just needed to hear if there is anybody else out there who might have experienced what I am going through or share some advice which will at least provoke constructive thoughts in my head as I get on with my relationship.

Best wishes.

[slider_72]

TS, your story reminds me of an old movie, The Crying Game. It was a damn good movie, especially the part when the male lead realised that his new-found love was a ladyboy. The moment he saw "her" dick, he puked big-time.

Towards the end of the movie, he managed to accept "her" as she is, or at least that was what the ending suggested.

For sure every society has its own prejudice and stereotype, Singapore included. I was a little surprised recently when an overseas friend told me that he found Singaporeans to be amongst the most racist people he had ever come across.

A relationship with a ladyboy is not going to endear you to the rest of the community in Singapore. Having said that, Singaporeans as a whole tend to just watch and make comments on the side. Unless your "girl's" appearance is so clearly tranny, chances are people will pass by without noticing or even taking a second glance at you. You are probably too self-conscious.

If you are so self-conscious, it must mean that this issue is bothering you big time. That I think is the root of the problem. If you want to continue with this relationship, you have to truly accept "her" for what "she" is. I doubt if you have at the moment. If you are unable to do that, perhaps it might not be a good idea to carry on with this.

[Hurricane88]

Really messy situation you had here. Let me break down each angle just for discussion sake:

Love
- true both of you are deeply in love and nothing materials now to you.
- can love buy you food, accomodation, happiness forever
- can consider moving to Philippines or Thailand which are more susceptible to this relationship

Family and friends
- can your parents and siblings accept this fact
- can you afford to lose your family
- can friends support you and accept this fact

Short term
- very happy because newly in love
- everything not important anymore
- alot of question marks???

Long term
- no family
- no friends
- no babies
- how long this love can lasts???
- long road ahead and sure not an easy path....

I din mention career because I assume you have a good career and your company employed you base on your work and not personal...but if career is affected then nothing will last long...

Not sure what BOSS SAM will comment...

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by slider_72

TS, your story reminds me of an old movie, The Crying Game. It was a damn good movie, especially the part when the male lead realised that his new-found love was a ladyboy. The moment he saw "her" dick, he puked big-time.

So did Ace Ventura.

Anyway, bro TS, I agree with you that Love & Sex are different things or else we'll start seeing more guys marrying hookers soon.

Respect your guts. Come to think of it, any guy who can fuck another guy over is never someone to be trifled with.

You can skip all the so-called advice from the naysayers of your relationship and just concentrate on those which holds key info on how to manage it instead.

We're here in fucking SBF, for crying out loud! Who are we to dictate what other bros want to do?

I tell you bros that fucking prostitutes is wrong, you will quit meh?

A friend of my colleague is with a transexual. Although they cannot have children of their own, they are still happily together.

As I'm not him, I cannot give you 1st hand experience. But he did tell me that it took a lot of work (both on his and 'her' part) convincing his parents that they were truly in love.

Just take note of the below points:
1) Family - You will never have a normal family. No children. No grandchildren. Chinese New Years will always be awkward. Avoid visiting if you can as it will definitely affect your mood no matter how "okay" you think you are. It's gonna be a long and lonely road.
2) Financial - As you know, transexuals face a large stigma. Not many employers would hire them. Thus, most of the burden lies on you. Don't expect to climb to a high post with a transvestite partner either, unless you become your own boss.
3) Marriage - It is impossible in Singapore. You will have to do it somewhere else but it will still be unrecognised in this stupid place.
4) Lodgings - As you mentioned earlier. You would still have to either rent or purchase one when you hit 35 because you do not have a legitimate spouse. If you want to rent, you will have to get those that offer the entire unit.
5) Society - See posts made by BroRelax and sub2lady2. Now imagine them being ten times nastier and more persistant. You'll have to deal with this type of magnitude on QUIET days.

[kurosaki ichigo]

This feeling of love may be temporary being manifested by many pull factors such as loneliness (working in a foreign land) and etc.

I'm pretty sure you have gotten down and dirty with him/her and don't mind that but the question is will you wake up one fine day and question why you're banging and married to an ex-dude?