Girlfriend vs. Other Girl (decent one)

[savacheone]

Hi bros and sisters,

I have a rather happy headache that is, unfortunately, causing some grief and confusion. I’m currently attached with a GF, who is a couple of years younger than me, and is actually my colleague in another department. We are very loving and she has a really nice personality which helps us get along very well. We have done intimate things before, but no full-blown sex. I guess we both want to save it till after marriage.

However, I recently found that because of my high sex drive, I’ve been trying to find one night stand (ONS) either through SBF, at clubs or on online social sites. I’ve never been much of a pick-up artist and seldom go clubbing (like less than 5 times a year), which explains why I have no luck getting ONS in the clubbing session I went for recently with some bros.

The problem arises because I got to know this girl online. Let’s call her Dolly. So Dolly is also young, intelligent and attractive, and she agreed to meet up with me after we interacted online. The dinner with her was fantastic- conversations, healthy teasing, and even abit of playful touching of shoulders etc. (not prolonged touching, just friendly pat on the back sort). We are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Problem is, I realize Dolly is looking for true love, while I’m out to play the field for variety. I’m not looking to have another relationship, as I love my GF and don’t want to hurt her. I just want an ONS (without full blown sex) for variety. If I carry on with Dolly, I think I can have an intimate side relationship with her, but that would require investing time, effort and the scary part- EMOTIONS.

Should I stop dating Dolly and look for ONS somewhere else (I don’t wanna go for FL)? Or continue dating Dolly and have intimate fun with her and hide it from my GF? Or are there other options?

I’m beginning to feel like a guilty jerk, but can’t extricate myself from Dolly’s charms…. Any advice is appreciated from wise fellow SBFers - Can PM me or post here! Thanks for reading my rambling.

[janejane]

All i can say is "you mess with the bull, you'll get the HORNS"
Everything comes with a price~

[farastein]

Whats stopping you from ditching yr GF?

Originally Posted by savacheone

Hi bros and sisters,

I have a rather happy headache that is, unfortunately, causing some grief and confusion. I’m currently attached with a GF, who is a couple of years younger than me, and is actually my colleague in another department. We are very loving and she has a really nice personality which helps us get along very well. We have done intimate things before, but no full-blown sex. I guess we both want to save it till after marriage.

However, I recently found that because of my high sex drive, I’ve been trying to find one night stand (ONS) either through SBF, at clubs or on online social sites. I’ve never been much of a pick-up artist and seldom go clubbing (like less than 5 times a year), which explains why I have no luck getting ONS in the clubbing session I went for recently with some bros.

The problem arises because I got to know this girl online. Let’s call her Dolly. So Dolly is also young, intelligent and attractive, and she agreed to meet up with me after we interacted online. The dinner with her was fantastic- conversations, healthy teasing, and even abit of playful touching of shoulders etc. (not prolonged touching, just friendly pat on the back sort). We are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Problem is, I realize Dolly is looking for true love, while I’m out to play the field for variety. I’m not looking to have another relationship, as I love my GF and don’t want to hurt her. I just want an ONS (without full blown sex) for variety. If I carry on with Dolly, I think I can have an intimate side relationship with her, but that would require investing time, effort and the scary part- EMOTIONS.

Should I stop dating Dolly and look for ONS somewhere else (I don’t wanna go for FL)? Or continue dating Dolly and have intimate fun with her and hide it from my GF? Or are there other options?

I’m beginning to feel like a guilty jerk, but can’t extricate myself from Dolly’s charms…. Any advice is appreciated from wise fellow SBFers - Can PM me or post here! Thanks for reading my rambling.

[sane]

Do u really think that u can have the best of both world n play with fire without getting burnt?

Continue playing n u will ended up having none.

[konnor]

Well said sane. A few questions for yourself to answer:
1) Do you see your current gf as your future wife?
- If yes, you should stop seeing Dolly. It's just infatuation right now. If you have a r/s with her, who knows how long it'll last?

2) Are you willing to cheat on both girls?
- By dating Dolly, you are cheating on your current gf. Also, you'll be cheating on Dolly cos she thinks that you're looking for the "True Love" as well.

My suggestion: Tell Dolly straight up what you're looking for. If she unwilling, then stop seeing her. Be a bastard if you need to. But if she's into ONS, who knows? (:

[milford]

As long as you are not married, you can still make friend with Dolly first.

[sane]

Thanks pal

What I can only say TS is not ready to settle down, let alone signing on the life sentence. Nvr chiong enough, Dont commit.

Its as good as finding a wife to put at home, while looking for fresh blood outside.

Women r v sensitive n things can turn v ugly if she ever find out that u r cheating on her, let alone both r colleagues n still gotta see other if things doesn't work out. Hopefully ur selfishness won't make a jerk out of u n hurt both geninue nice gals.

Be responsible for own actions.

[savacheone]

Hi bros,

Thank you all for your insightful comments, I'll see how I can break the news to Dolly gently without breaking her heart. It's only two dates, so the emotional bond can't be that strong. This means that whatever hurt she may feel will be minimised as well. Hopefully that works out.

So, if Dolly's willing to carry on with an 'open relationship' (i.e. we both can continue dating other people, like my current GF), then I suppose it's fine? Also, if Dolly is willing to be FB (which I doubt so), then it's fine as well? And can I still ONS other girls who are willing without telling my GF? I know this 'eating forbidden fruit' by the side (even if it's not full-blown sex), is still betrayal...

I don't know if I'm ready to be tied down by my current GF. It's just that cos' of her conservative upbringing, its rare that we even do intimate stuff in hotel (remember, its never full-blown sex). But I suppose my nether regions need more frequent stimulation than she is willing or comfortable to give at this stage...

Sigh... really hard being a guy.

[arsenal_84]

There's no such thing as best of both worlds.

[gent]

I know a guy friend who r in the same situation. He actually planning to marry his gf. But along the way, got to know this new gal colleague and confess to her! The gal knows he got gf and also likes him. Both dating secretly. He told his gal colleague that he is breaking with his gf.

I don't support his action because I feel that his gf will be damn hurt. They r planning to get married and this happened. And I would say that his gf is a decent type.

Now he is trying to break off with his gf of 2-3 years for a gal whom he knows for 6 month. I hope he don't regret.


My 2 cents.

[hansolo7677]

You can't have the cake and eat it too....

But you can choose to be upfront with Dolly... just let her know you are out here to play only. If she chooses to continue with you, good for both parties.

[rubberduckygirl]

be truthful to dolly. if she is okay with the arrangement (i.e. you being attached and have no intentions of breaking up with ur gf for dolly) then all the better.

you may never know how things will turn out when its two woman and one man involved.

i know you as a guy i know you have your needs. you have to know your limits.

but as a gf's pov, its hurtful to know that your boy's making out with another girl behind my back. not many girls are able to accept. judging that your girl is from a conservative/traditional family background.

[Botakhead]

If you're serious with your GF, never date Dolly, don't 'tau jiak' behind your GF's back. Worst case scenario is that you may end up with nothing, GF finds out and hurt and ditches you, Dolly finds that you're not reliable in your truthfullness......also may leave you for better future.
ZILCH. All pain and no gain, is it worth all this trouble just because your sex drive is high?

[etct88]

What's stopping TS from being ditched by his GF?

Originally Posted by farastein

Whats stopping you from ditching yr GF?

[asdfghjkl]

maybe your busty Dolly is a spy sent by your GF?