Marrying A Thai ger

[xilverzap]

Originally Posted by vmtech

hehe den i cant let my wife know how much ur wife have :P

so means all who have thai gf or wives... please do not arrange for meetups, gatherings, pot luck, baby 1st month.. lol.. all cannot meet.. Meet leow... all go home next few days will see us eat bread for a few weeks leow.. hahahahha

[rapebill]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

ur girl from where one. north or east?

200k to 300k baht is already pretty big house. a 600k baht house about 30k sgd is very big. can make 2 lvl liao. i supppose she have a big family there?

She stays at phetchabun, 3hrs northeast of bangkok. anyway, the family had already started building and spent about 300k (that's what she said). I am going over this weekend to take a look and do the sums. The house is for her family which consists mum, dad, 2 sons & 2 brothers. Supposedly 4 bedrooms. The costs of building materials have gone up and the pay for labour should come up to at least 100k for the entire project. Well, I have to go and see what had actually been done.

She is the type that wants everything fast, including getting a husband I suppose. I don't suppose that she would listen to her parents or brother. I am however vulnerable to emotional blackmail. Just have to take one step at a time.

[xilverzap]

Originally Posted by rapebill

She stays at phetchabun, 3hrs northeast of bangkok. anyway, the family had already started building and spent about 300k (that's what she said). I am going over this weekend to take a look and do the sums. The house is for her family which consists mum, dad, 2 sons & 2 brothers. Supposedly 4 bedrooms. The costs of building materials have gone up and the pay for labour should come up to at least 100k for the entire project. Well, I have to go and see what had actually been done.

She is the type that wants everything fast, including getting a husband I suppose. I don't suppose that she would listen to her parents or brother. I am however vulnerable to emotional blackmail. Just have to take one step at a time.

Sorry, it is strange that the family starts ordering for a house to be built before or after you guys got married? If its before, it would be strange that they want to built a house on that kind of pricing without knowing if they got someone to foot the bill? If its after you are married, then it is also strange that building the house cost how much, you are not consulted and expected to fork out these money or she'll go back to the trade???

Take heart that everyone goes throough some form of emotional blackmail. However, love is lost if girl places material things above you. Family already are priority above you. Friends, for some, already above you.. now material things as well.... where do you stand in the end?

xilver

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by rapebill

The costs of building materials have gone up and the pay for labour should come up to at least 100k for the entire project. Well, I have to go and see what had actually been done.

yes i know the building materials have gone up quite alot. compare to last yr. i actually went with my ger to ask for the price for this things.

unlike u we have our uncles who help us do the house. so we just provide them lunch n dinner and few bottle of liq it good enough.

i suggest u go down with ur wife to the shop n check out the price of the thing u are buying. sometime u get cheaper in other shop. some really over charge.

as for blackmail. im not sure what u going to do. but bear this in mind if everytime she wants something n always use going to work again. is it fair to u.

Thai girls is like this when they want it they want it fast. that in build to them why cos their husband are not thai. they know they can get what they want. but there are thai girls who understand also.

cheers

[rapebill]

yes, she has 2 sons. From what I know, one is her natural while the other is adopted. The problem with her is that she does not want me to know everything because the past was all unpleasant. If you ask me how much I know about her, seriously it is still a mystery. If knowing her past will help me understand her better, I has to settle for nitnoy bit and pieces.

well her family had done some homework wrt the housing project. From what I had gathered, her existing house, which only has 1 bedroom, is already 15 years old. So to me, she said that she has this dream of providing a new house for her family. And I had told her numerous times that we should get married only AFTER the house is built but somehow she chose to get married first. Anyway right from the start I had told her that I do not earn much nor have any savings although I did bought her a lot of items initially. That could have led to wrong impressions.

I don't think I will have any legal rights although her family had promised that they will take care of me whenever I am there. Not that I have that money to throw again, but the only legal papers they have is the title deeds to the land.

actually my main gripe is that she is priao (sour) and not waan (sweet) towards me and I am not used to such GFE. You know, she does not even like to kiss me and claims that she does not like kissing. Still scratching my head but now has a growing gnawing feeling that I am more of a paper husband whose mere functions are to provide money to her family. Wondering when I will be completely overwhelmed by this feeling.

I am not hoping much for a success story. Just want to follow my heart (as what a bro advised) and hope for the best.

Anyway, I will be going over this week. I thank all bros for their well wishes.

[xilverzap]

Well bros

While it is ok to follow the heart, sometimes it is hard to swallow when things start to take a turn. Knowing a thai girl initially and wooing them is always a challenge and fun too. In the end, you get her... the 1st few months surely is nice. But when things settle down, you will discover that this girl wasnt the same girl you once wooed. Where has all the GF feelings gone?? Has she gone bored with me?? I think it happens to a lot of us too.

Not wanting to kiss, not showing much signs of romance after a while I think is normal cos you are getting to see the REAL person in her. But since you have married her, you'd have to try and accept with whatever she has become. Or at least try your best to.

Becareful rapebill, this growing gnawing feeling is not a good sign and if not kept in check... might explode to something very nasty. Things you are left to do now is to go up and access the situation there and like bro Norikasan55 says, see if you can find out more about WHOSE name the land belong to and talk with your wife that if you going to pump in so much money into the house. The least you wanna see is that you wife gets to OWN it in some sense.

xilver

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by rapebill

I don't think I will have any legal rights although her family had promised that they will take care of me whenever I am there. Not that I have that money to throw again, but the only legal papers they have is the title deeds to the land.

taking care is always there since u are the provider for the family if u understand what i mean.

Originally Posted by rapebill

actually my main gripe is that she is priao (sour) and not waan (sweet) towards me and I am not used to such GFE. You know, she does not even like to kiss me and claims that she does not like kissing. Still scratching my head but now has a growing gnawing feeling that I am more of a paper husband whose mere functions are to provide money to her family. Wondering when I will be completely overwhelmed by this feeling.

is it right from the start or after u are married n wanted to do the house later then she behave this way?

then u proberly have to rethink and maybe have a talk with her. the rest is up to u.

Originally Posted by rapebill

I am not hoping much for a success story. Just want to follow my heart (as what a bro advised) and hope for the best.

is good to follow our heart but if is a one sided then i think u should rethink.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by xilverzap

Knowing a thai girl initially and wooing them is always a challenge and fun too. In the end, you get her... the 1st few months surely is nice. But when things settle down, you will discover that this girl wasnt the same girl you once wooed. Where has all the GF feelings gone?? Has she gone bored with me?? I think it happens to a lot of us too.

i agree on this. always the initial affection kill the guys. cos the girls give u alot of attention blah blah blah. after sometime we dont get what we want from them anymore then we start thinking do they still love us? is she seeing anyone. blah blah blah.

well we just have to deal with this. not said they dont love u but we just have to accept their true char as what xilver said.

but also must see lar. something must be wrong if she become cold to us. sometime the girls also behave the same way as us. when we go steady with them, we give them lots of love n the later we have no time to shower them with love they also think what we think. so it both ways.

[Gixer]

Originally Posted by rapebill

The house is for her family which consists mum, dad, 2 sons & 2 brothers.

Bro, no offence, but are you sure the 2 brothers are really her brothers and not her husband/ex-husband or boyfriend or what ever? I did not read the whole story, but its always very suspect when they ask you to build a house straight away. Most families will even give back the sinsod to the couple.

[xilverzap]

Guys

I just want to say that as you read through these postings, we have been making some noises about how bad or why are thai girls like this or that.

I have something to let us all think a little. Let's turn this table around. These girls, be they previous FLs, decent ones or whatever, that 1 girl that eventually became your GF or Wife... What do they want in life? What are their priorities? Why are they not thinking in the same wave length as you? What is "wrong"?

We can say its culture differences. Yes. So, their culture is wrong and ours is right?? Is there such a thing?? A totally wrong culture??

I think sometimes we need to see it from their angle in order to understand them better for the betterment of ourselves.. (wa cheem..hehe)

I think they are the product of our doings. We treat them well in the first place. We take care of them inthe first place. We happy gum guan give them all we have IN THE FIRST PLACE.

So in all fairness, ITS OUR FAULT TOO. I know many may not agree. But give it a thought.

I love them thai ladies. They are so wonderfully crafted, so loving (if they wanna be). And as time go along with you being their only man in their life. I believe 1 day, you will be able to get to the top of their list of priorities. It takes time.

There are bad relationships and there are wonderful ones. Perhaps we should see the good things they bring when marrying a thai girl instead of making noise and cry why why why we are the victims. Arent they victims too when they cant get what they want?

Yes there are scammers and cheaters... they are in every other countries as well. Just look at PRCs thread. So nationality is no different. I guess when these thai girls, when they fall in love with a foreign man, they are also gambling that this man is a good man and able to provide for her and her closest and most important in their lives. Their family have been with them since BIRTH. You are with them when you just MET.

So I feel we should be a little fair to them.

Just my thoughts.

xilver

[beauthaiful]

1 advice before you get KC.

Love don't cost a thing. Love is priceless

If girl start asking for cash $, ask yourself, "does she really love me? or my money?"

[beauthaiful]

Originally Posted by Norikasan55

Haha.. you are everywhere!

So have you ever get KC? Did I miss reading your posting? Your tahan skill must be level 10/10.

I am only in threads that are constructive...
My tahan skills 10/10???

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by xilverzap

Guys


I have something to let us all think a little. Let's turn this table around. These girls, be they previous FLs, decent ones or whatever, that 1 girl that eventually became your GF or Wife... What do they want in life? What are their priorities? Why are they not thinking in the same wave length as you? What is "wrong"?

I agreed bro,

anyway Keep up the constructive postings on this thread.

I just want to say : managing one's expectations is the key, successful relationships may not always be measured in tangible yardsticks

I have had my share of ups and downs , WLs and non WLs relationships with TG ,PRC , Viets as well as the odd local SG gal. In the end ,there's something I still prefer about thai gal as wife or GF, they have that quality about them that's special compared to other gals of other nationalities ( it's an acquired taste)

I don't encourage or suggest we go looking for them in the bars of Soi cowboy , Nana entertainment plaza , Poseidon ,Catherine , Emmanuel MPs or FLs(full time or PT) from Okts. There's plenty of presentable Non-wls in thailand looking for the right guy too, except if you get tied down prepare for "jail" sentence , hehe

Having a relationship is not just only the happy parts , having one means taking the bad with the good times. Its about managing ones expectations and weathering the bad times. Though one must always use big head to think ( not that one down in our pants)

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by beauthaiful

Love don't cost a thing. Love is priceless. If girl start asking for cash $, ask yourself, "does she really love me? or my money?"

Sure, we get your drift. But hor, money also can buy love 1

Originally Posted by xilverzap

...love them thai ladies. They are so wonderfully crafted, so loving (if they wanna be).

Our archiles heel hehehe

...bad relationships and there are wonderful ones. Perhaps we should see the good things they bring when marrying a thai girl instead of making noise and cry why why why we are the victims. .
....scammers and cheaters... they are in every other countries as well. Just look at PRCs thread. So nationality is no different.
..when these thai girls, when they fall in love with a foreign man, they are also gambling that this man is a good man and able to provide for her and her closest and most important in their lives.

Yo, only fair and balanced view of the positives too (maybe like yours or PM's success story) ..not just negative vibes on pitfalls. Gal also taking a calculated (lifetime?) chance with you

..Take heart that everyone goes throough some form of emotional blackmail. However, love is lost if girl places material things above you. Family already are priority above you. Friends, for some, already above you.. now material things as well.... where do you stand in the end?

Soft parachute down to bro rapebill here. On emotional blackmail thingy, it comes in all forms and sizes. Been there and done it.. kns, I got out out of my LDTR to keep my sanity (and shallow pockets). Peace of mind's also priceless. Jury's out there for bro rapebill, but doesn't sound too good with cold (sour?) reception either. I mean, isn't r/s a 2 way traffic? Like some1 else said here, it's also about (mis)matched expectations

[Fiery dragon]

After reading thru the various postings in this thread and was wondering how it feels like to have a Thai gf. My chance of experiencing it came recently...but unfortunately she is a Thai FL under the stable of one of the OKTs advertising in SBF.

I've bonked many pretty Thai FL b4 and had never fallen in love or develop any feelings with them before as i have the "Fxxk & Forget cheonging principle". However, this Thai FL somehow made me totally forget about my "cheonging principle". I shall perhaps call it "Love at first sight" and it applies to both of us as we had a wonderful time together for tat session as it felt like we have known each other for a long time.

Soon, I made the 1st mistake by asking her to send me her live pics in her hp and the 2nd mistake by exchanging hp no. with her. She subsequently smsed me to accompany her for supper and shopping in the night(Mustafa Centre) and i made the 3rd mistake by agreeing to it. We were holding hands whilst walking & shopping and hugging & kissing like a couple whilst in her hotel room. She did the same thing the following day by asking me to accompany her for shopping again with her Thai FL friend. Btw, she did not treat me as a "Cai Tou: Carrot head" at all as she always picked the least expensive items whereby she knew tat i wld be paying. Spent only $8 for the 1st day of shopping on chocolates and $15 on bracelets on the 2nd day. She told me tat she made one of her customers bought 2 bottles of perfumes for her costing over $100.

After the first 2 days, we were sending "I miss u" & "Gd Night" smses to each other for the next 3days. I decided to book her again on the 4th day for a night slot(i never bk night slot in my life b4) to give her a surprise as i missed her alot. She was pleasantly surprised to see me on tat night but i did not enjoy my time with her at all on tat night coz she kept telling me what her customers had bought for her...one even promised to book her for a whole day so as to bring her around S'pore...how the customers treated her friends(Thai FLs from same stable). I did get better services from her this time but I already don't have much mood to bonk her after hearing all that(jealousy overcame me). She kept asking "Why"...as my didi became hard one moment after her bbbj and softened after awhile for a few times for a gd 30mins(coz i kept thinking whether she treats 1 or 2 of her customers the same as me and her "time" with her customers). Performed a catbath on her and decided to stop after bonking her missionary for 10mins...no mood to continue.

Was initially thinking tat i could perhaps accompany her longer by booking a night slot as this would be my last time booking her but sadly..she received an sms from her okt tat someone had booked her for the next 12am slot and i have no choice but to leave with abt 8mins left. She sensed tat i'm angry and kept asking me to call her OKT to do something abt it(How to do anything abt it when her customer wld be arriving in 5-10mins time??). I then paid her and wanted to leave immediately...but she grabbed hold of my right hand and then hugged me tightly and called my "Darling, don't be angry". She then gave me a kiss on my lips and told me "Gd nite darling, see u again next time"....whereby i replied "This is my last time coming here and no more next time" and then walked away angrily.

She smsed me "I love u" in the next morning but i've decided to call it an end to this fruitless relationship by smsing her "Please forget me & don't love me" in both English & Thai as its actually very tormenting to have a Thai FL as a gf. Can't stop thinking of how she spends her "time" with her customers...be it bonking or shopping.

Just feels like sharing my experience here esp to bros who are thinking of getting a Thai gf or wife(be it an FL or non FL)...u better think twice. The "sense of security" is just not there...its like a common thing for Thai girls to be an FL and it seems like they don't feel shameful at all.