Tips on picking up gals online thru Chat Apps...

[darkdark]

Thanks for the share

[SammyNewbie]

Inner Game Part 1: (Self-confidence and Respect)

This is a sensitive topic and I will try to be as gentle as I can.

Have you ever been failing to hit on girls or hitting on them to hear bros tell you that 'You just need to
be more confident of yourself?'. How many of you think it's bullshit? Well it is.

Not completely. But the bros that told you this simply weren't specific to what you need to do.

What the hell is self-confidence or respect? I've thought about this for a very long time. The answer to this is actually simple. It's self acceptance.

That is quite simply, accepting yourself. Flaws, good points, physical appearance whatever.

The interesting thing about this I want to say is that it actually comes in a circle. You must accept yourself enough to approach people so they can accept you. People accepting you gives you courage to further approach other people knowing that you won't be rejected. Arguing about which should come first is kind of pointless, and being more of a pragmatic person, and I'm more about fixing the problem.

Regarding the first one, I can understand why bros will feel emo when I say self-confidence comes from within. I've had my fair share of such talks with many of my guy friends. I'm just going to give a little example of this.

We all know that 1+1= 2 for example. If anyone were to come to us and say 1+1=3 or even if a large number of people say it to us. We will not accept it because we know 1+1 is 2. Sometimes self-acceptance is like that. We know for a fact that we are good at what we do, and we don't need external validation.

The reasons why a lot of bros cannot understand this is because certain things are often subjected to opinion. For example, I'm more of a tea person rather than a coffee person. I like the smell of the leaves and lemon grass and flavours it actually gives. I on the other hand hate Coffee. I don't like the taste or the smell of it after trying. I avoid ordering it even when I am at Starbucks writing. Does that mean just because I don't order coffee, it means that it is a bad drink?

OF COURSE NOT!

Plenty of people drink coffee even when I don't. It's the same with people, sometimes people like you, and sometimes people don't. It's important to learn to say 'Hey, if they don't like the way I am, that's just too bad. It's their loss for not wanting to know me'. I myself am guilty of not practicing this often enough. I guess we all want to be liked by people for our qualities but all I can say about this is people have lots of reasons for not liking you. Personality clashes, jealousy that you got the balls to confess your feelings to a girl in a lecture theatre, whatever. So the first rule of self-confidence/acceptance is:

WALK AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO TREAT YOU BAD

I see most of you aren't convinced. Ok, let's say people don't like you and you know the reason why they don't. Just ask yourself this question : Does that flaw about me hurt other people or myself? Or is it just because they don't understand me, the same way we like to make fun of Indian accents?

Think about the time where you walked away from someone who treated you bad. How'd it feel? Sure you were sad. But honestly didn't that feel kinda good that you didn't have to live up to some of that rubbish they were putting on you?Didn't you say you should do it more often?

That's different from being delusional/blind to your flaws. Those are the people that sing on american idol and think they are great but they are not even in tune. Self-acceptance is knowing and accepting who you are good and bad. Gonna have to practice what I preach more often now after saying this XD

[SammyNewbie]

Inner Game (Part 2) : Remind yourselves of the things you are good at

Ok.Some of you might be in more toxic environments, and you might not be able to find the people that can accept you as you are or be able to move from these environments for various reasons. Another way to find self-confidence is to do things you like or are good at doing.

As much as we don't like to admit it because it sounds arrogant, but hey, doing something that we like that not everyone can do make us feel special?

I know there were times when I was feeling emo, and I just went to my room, closed the door and just played the guitar and sang. I mean, I wasn't a rock star or an extremely great musician, but the fact that the playing was in the correct rhythm and I sang in tune made me feel a sense of accomplishment.

All of us have things we are good at. Even listening to someone or being helpful to people is a strength. Ok, I'm just going to make you do a little exercise for a self-confidence boost. List out ten good things about yourself. Doesn't have to well awesome stuff. Maybe you could just be good at Math or playing a game. Do you feel better after doing this?

Ok, now tape this on your wall or somewhere discreet if you have toxic family members. I'm not going to ask you to recite this and look at it everyday. It gets stale if you do. Just read it whenever you feel down and you need to remind yourself of who you are, especially when people take the things you can do for granted.

The final things I wish to say about doing the things you like or starting things that you like.

Firstly,perservere. No one starts off great at something. When I started the guitar and youtube playing, for the first week, I couldn't even switch chords properly or play them in proper sound. For the second week, I was playing mostly correctly and but the moment I opened my mouth to sing I lost the next chord and the strumming rhythm. It was only by the third week that I managed to actually play and sing 70% of the song right. And it was only one song actually. I had prior practice of playing a guitar many many years back that I failed too. I don't suggest that you keep ploughing it when you are sick of it. When you're tired, just take a short break from it of maybe two to three days or as long as you want until you feel like resuming it. But in the intial stage when you are learning the thing, avoid overly long breaks because you tend to forget everything.

Secondly, keep it secret. Some people like myself tend to have a problem with this because we are so attention seeking at times and also like to share new things we learnt with everyone being extroverts. But the world is a cruel place. People tend to laugh at new people even when they are practicing. There was a point of time where I just went to a park to play my guitar at night because it was late. Unfortunately there were people there. The irony of it is, those people talk so much about how you ain't good at something when they can't even do or dare try it themselves. If you really must share, do it selectively with people you know will be supportive.

[SammyNewbie]

Part 3 : Look for people that affirm you and like you the way you are.

I cannot stress this enough. We all need friends and good people around us to support us.

What to do to find and meet like minded people. There are many ways to do this. Hobby groups are one of them. Maybe you play cards for example. Or guitar, or programming. Whatever. You could just pick up a new hobby you're interested in and get to know people from there.

As with this group, rule 1 still applies. There are some not so desirable people in these groups, even when most of them are mostly nice. Well this is a little bit I learned about people. If they mostly give you the vibe that they want you to go away and appear stand-offish, just leave them alone, but if they mostly don't mind you sitting around and just stay quiet, they could just take awhile to warm up to you.

Also if u meet people as noisy as me, they're probably the friendliest bunch. But well, you gotta be able to take them. Hahaha... I sometimes everything about sex one. My friends also roll their eyes abit lah. Sometimes really can go on non stop one. >.<”.

Since there's not really much to say about this (or maybe I ain't good at this friendship thing beyond being helpful and chatty), I actually am gonna talk about the dark side of self-acceptance abit. This involves putting others down to make you feel confident about yourself, hurting people, and kinda playing a certain political game through a certain number of emotional manipulation techniques. Let's say I've had a lot to think about lately, and searching for a job and having time to reflect has opened up some of my old wounds.

I'm actually thinking about taking this path, just for the sake of certain amount of revenge I'd like to have.This is mentioned simply for 'academic purposes' to warn you and in case you are driven to desperation and would like to actually take it whether for self defence or vengeance. At this point I will not teach these techniques at all because as of now, they are against my value set.

I've been trying to do it, but mostly when I'm driven to the threshold, I dun do very much bad stuff beyond ask a girl out on the mrt, take it out on trash bins, or even eat two tubs of Ben and Jerry's. Lately, all I did after being pushed was go on Skout more proactively. I just am not aligned to the dark side of the Force.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this topic of self-confidence and Inner Game.

[xdra]

This is quite enlightening. Please do share more...

[quadH]

this is a good thread here. keep it up TS! How do I up your points btw?

[quadH]

this is a good thread here. keep it up TS! How do I up your points btw?

[SammyNewbie]

Inner Game Continued : Affirmations

When I wrote the Inner Game section, I felt that while that they were purely generic guidelines on how to remove some of the bros problems that were toxic to self-acceptance and add some that would slowly cultivate that 'self-confidence' , but at the same time I felt it wasn't complete and applicable to the whole topic of picking up chicks online or in real life. Furthermore, I felt more could have been done to address self-acceptance issues beyond what I suggested.

So when a bro came to my thread and told me 'Please continue', I thought a little bit about the things I've read about Inner Game. I remember reading the story of 'The Game'. The main protagonist known as Style was doing all the techniques he was taught right, the girls were warming up to him and he was getting numbers and they liked him. But for some reason, he didn't dare follow up with them and go for a second date even though he knew he stood a good chance. There were moments where the girls were giving out cues that they were ready to be kissed, but he just didn't dare follow through.

He was wondering why, and he was taken to another Pick Up Artist. He was told that while he executed all the moves correctly to act like an 'Alpha' male, he was still afraid inside due to a belief system that was ingrained in him that he would 'never get loved' due to his past experiences.

He needed to rewrite that belief system in his mind and replace it with a new set of 'affirmations' that would overwrite those wrong beliefs. In the story, he listened to motivational tapes containing positive messages for three weeks and even while he was sleeping and had hypnosis performed on him while the Guru whispered these affirmations in his ears.

I'm not going to be so dramatic or extreme but this process might hurt abit, so you have been warned.

Instead, I'm going to have you take a sheet of paper and draw a line across it.

On the left side, write down all the things and experiences that make you feel that you are not worthy to be loved or cause your low self-esteem.

I'll give some concrete examples:

I was bullied by some bigger kids when I was young. I tried fighting back but it was useless.

I had a girl I liked a lot. I wrote a note to confess to her, she passed it to all her friends. They laughed at me.

Just go through your life memories slowly, and when you see something particularly painful that might have caused it. Write it down.

Ok now that you are done with this list. Now go through each memory and on the right side, write a positive affirmation as a counter to the incident. In the bully case, you could write something like 'I was a brave person to stand up to those bullies'. In the rejection case, write something like 'I am a person worthy of being loved'. Once you are done with that list, Cut that piece in half, just throw away and tear up the left side or burn it (preferably shredded or destroyed so no one can reconstruct it) and as for the right side, tape it somewhere discreet. Whenever you are going to a hostile place or you need to do your Game, read it slowly to yourself(even just reading the words aloud in your head works) and then proceed on to your game. When you come out rejected or from a bad day, go back and read the list again.

[SammyNewbie]

Inner Game Continued : Goals and Aspirations

Now that I've settled the mindset problem, let's move on to the practical side of things. Like I said before, this Inner Game thing is a circle. Believing in yourself causes you to do things and when you succeed, it strengthens that belief.

Right now, I'm going to ask you to set a goal for yourself. It could be something like : I want to sleep with a woman without having to pay her money for sex or I want to ask to ask an online girl out on a date and have her say yes.Or Even, I want a damn hot girl to be talking to me only although everyone is fighting for her attention.

I'd actually suggest giving yourself a reasonable time frame for this. Eg. I want to do it in a month. The reason for this time frame is that it actually puts some pressure on you to actually do something because you have an objective and a time to measure that objective on. Depends on the individual. If you feel the time frame clamps you up and paralyzes you instead, fuck this. But I know it worked for me.

Next, if the objective is too big(we know we cannot immediately sleep with a woman), break it down into small steps

1) I need to get 3-5 girls to talk to me
2) I need to ask 2 of them out on a few dates
3) I need to 'go further' eg. Kissing,light petting on these dates
4) I need to bring a woman on a seduction date and then sleep with her when the timing is right

These can of course be broken down further into more micro-steps if more planning is needed. And then at the time frame, do an evaluation. Did you meet your objective? Even if you didn't was there an improvement?

As usual, I, SammyNewbie do not teach stuff I myself do not practice, so this is my own field report.

I was chatting up girls while doing my own revision for my studies on Skout for the past few weeks. I had a few girls reply my chats, but mostly reception was lukewarm. When I kept probing them to ask them out, they seemed to just tactically decline. I was getting discouraged.

Some of them even blocked me because I was getting a little persistent and losing patience. I was feeling low. It was then when I checked up the forums to find a bro had asked me to write more. I asked myself.

What The Fuck was I doing giving advice to bros about Inner Game if it didn't work? I decided that there must be something I missed out. That was when I actually remembered the affirmations part of the Inner Game. I didn't even make a list. I just told myself 'I'm worthy to be loved' because I knew I had rejection issues and let that fact sink in for awhile.

I then realised it was Labour day, and hey, if women were doing nothing today, they might be feeling lonely. I told myself I wanted to try to sleep with one tonight. I began being very strategic, targetting ladies near my area, and of a certain age demographic that I knew would be interested. I didn't just message every woman I saw. She still had to meet my minimal standards.

Soon I got two women that were chatting with me. I'm gonna be honest that they were not smoking hot Singaporeans. They were maids. Both of them had previously ignored me before or ran away, but perhaps it was today and they wanted to meet someone. One of them was direct and asked me if my purpose was to go hotel with her.

I was taken aback, but I confessed that yes, it was my intention. I asked her if she wanted to meet up since we were nearby. She said no. Normally I would have been crushed, but that Inner Game affirmation stayed in my head :'I'm worthy to be loved'. I didn't give up and I played it cool when I heard that statement sound out.

I just teased abit that we would be meeting in a crowded place and it would be safe and all. At first she didn't really reply, so I did my own thing and I chatted up another one. To my surprise, she began to talk to me and we made some further small talk and she agreed to go out with me when I asked her out to just eat and possibly see a movie.

Again she asks “go hotel?”

I tell her now with confidence “No need, let's just meet each other. If the feeling's right, we'll go”

We talk abit further on about other small topics and suddenly the meet and what we want to do or where we want to go pops up once more.

Again she asks “go hotel?”

I say “You ask so many times! Ok! I get the hint! You just don't back out last minute!”

She doesn't reject me or say no. I even dirty talked her when she was about to go sleep. There's the story of the other maid that has agreed to meet me as well, but I think it's getting really lengthy at this point. Also, if you didn't notice, I didn't complete my objective of getting a woman to sleep with me by the deadline. But it certainly was an improvement. I now have two dates, no doubt with maids. And I have tried to chat up maids to meet me but been rejected before! XD

Some of you might still be skeptical and ask me, SammyNewbie, you teaching us Inner Game to psyche us up. Aren't you teaching us to be delusional like power_tan? Just talk big that girls are looking at him and hope some stupid girl will fall into the trap? Just act like all the gals will love you and then they will just flock to you like this?

No! That's not it!

I'll give you another illustration to show you what I mean.

I play the guitar and sing a certain song 100% perfectly when I'm doing it in the comfort of my own room. The moment I come in front of an audience I get nervous and then I stumble over the lyrics, stiffen up and play the wrong chords. I now only do it 60% correctly. All Inner Game is doing if I apply it is removing the anxiety caused by the wrong belief system that everyone will laugh at me.

You are still yourself. By using Inner Game all you are doing is being your best self, and showcasing the best parts of you so the girl can make a decision based on that. It doesn't mean that every girl will fall head over heels with you just because you apply Inner Game, but it does improve your chances, because your best self is certainly more attractive.

[BMW69]

Hehe I managed to get the contacts of about 3 girls from these apps. The furthest I've gone is asking the girl out. she agreed on sex but I pulled out at the last minute because she's only 13. I would have gone ahead if I wasn't using my real number and name.

[SammyNewbie]

I'm glad to hear your success story. Hehe if you got any tips to share please do in this thread. . I have to start studying. OMG! One day before the exam XD.

Also, it would be nice to actually share the gal's side of the game. I do find that some of them are kinda playing with me in the online chat. So besides that, it would actually be nice to know when they are playing this. Unfortunately, my experience with this is rather limited, but I think it is actually good to see some of this so newer and greener bros can be aware and also learn.

Once more, I'm considering the dark side to deal with certain types of women. The best option as I said before with Inner Game was probably to walk away. The question is whether you want to try out knowing her and bonking her for revenge. Some evil devil bros understand what I mean when they know such women have to be dealt with in a certain way.

[gotnotime]

Originally Posted by BMW69

Hehe I managed to get the contacts of about 3 girls from these apps. The furthest I've gone is asking the girl out. she agreed on sex but I pulled out at the last minute because she's only 13. I would have gone ahead if I wasn't using my real number and name.

It'd seem like I've got more success story to share, inclusive of getting contact, asking the girl out, but I didn't wanna proceed further haha

[Skyboy1988]

Originally Posted by gotnotime

It'd seem like I've got more success story to share, inclusive of getting contact, asking the girl out, but I didn't wanna proceed further haha

Lol.. Individual preference maybe.. As i'm not into chatting with girls i don't know online.. Chatting up in person is easier for me..

[SammyNewbie]

Alpha tricks : Negs and Cocky Funny

How many of you have been following the latest Skout feeds and happenings?

I noticed quite a few trolls around on it recently. All they've been actually doing is going to profiles of women and being insulting when a woman says something for attention or has a motive for saying it. Skout women are also starting to follow in the ways of our Samstresses when it comes to men harassing them for sex: public shaming and sexposure.

This prompted me to write a little bit on the topic of some 'dark arts' because I think the whole concept of Negging or Cocky Funny is misunderstood or poorly executed .

'Negatives' or Negs for short, are simply subtle negative comments you make about a pretty lady, whether about her appearance or character, to knock her self-esteem or social status down a notch, so you can be on the same level as her and then carry out a conversation. For Hokkien Pai people that don't jiat kantang, it's the same as Suan Seow.

Sometimes, this is necessary because pretty women are used to the attention and think they are lesser gods and can do no wrong. A Neg reminds them they are still human and gives that small message that says 'Don't be a bitch '.

There are some important things about Negs and Cocky Funny that bros must understand

1) They should not be excessively used or repeated. In other words, you do not keep saying bad stuff about a girl to put her down. The idea is to make her realise she's human and step off her high horse, not make her so pissed at you that she wants to punch your face for insulting her.

2) Negs should be subtle rather than completely direct. This gives a girl enough space to step down gracefully while giving her the message. A good example of this is actually in flirting and Double Entrandes . Rather than being directly naughty, you say stuff like 'I think you're a really open person... really open' or 'Mmm..I think you're a really sweet person inside'

3) Depending on the girl you're talking to, they have different thresholds of what they may find funny. In general, it's always better to start with the subtle side of Negging before slowly going on to more direct stuff.

This technique is known as 'micro-escalation'. Like before you go for a kiss, you do slow steps and continue to bigger steps before you move in.

You first touch a girl's hand. No resistance, get a little feely and stroke her hand abit. Still Ok? Put your arm around her shoulder. She seems alright with it. Now look into her eyes and lean abit closer. Ok, she doesn't move away. Now you can go for it.

This is a useful principle that applies throughout all the things that you will do. Whether it's negging, chatting whatever. It's something that needs practise. Sometimes it's just good to write down the concrete steps of how to slowly do this until you get used to it.

I'll give you a couple of examples on how to be cocky funny and to Neg a lady. Recently when I was checking out a couple of profiles and I noticed a rather attractive girl. She was taking these photos in a house or Bungalow in the bathroom, living room balcony and posing like she was a model. After abit of evaluation, I decided that she was a slightly haughty maid that was living in a high class place that thought she was a princess from all the attention she was getting. Deciding that this was a woman that needed a little reminder that she was still a human and ought to be nice to people I started off with a little naughty neg to her.

“Are you the mistress or the maid of this place?”

I get a reply back to say that it was a nice introduction. Unfortunately on the way, sadly I was abit nervous and did not talk to her like a normal person. Hence that superiority shield went up again and this was the end of it. If I had just continued to carry on the conversation as with a friend, I think my chances of scoring are pretty high I'd say.

This is an example of how a proper Neg should look like. First off, it doesn't directly attack a person. All it did was ask a question to suggest what the truth was and have her examine herself on this matter. I also gave her a way to step down from this by lying that she was the mistress of the house if she wanted to.

Some guys flare up and insult a woman when they are treated badly and lash out saying that they are worthless and proceed to boast about their own social status and think that is Negging. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. That's just being rude and insulting mostly. Even most Gurus acknowledge that Cocky Funny and Negs are a tricky topic to get right.

While I did laugh at some of it because it was the truth. Remember the rule: different women have different thresholds, start subtle and use micro-escalation. Also, if you can't execute the Neg right (I say this from experience because it takes a certain personality), walk away. Remember the first rule of Inner Game. Don't let them mess you up or show you to be a lesser man.

Let me give you another example. A girl posted on her status : 'I can't get a cab for the past 1 hour'

I reply 'I know! She's trying to get a free ride home from the Skouters! Skouters! Charge!'

I get a little check on my profile for doing this. This is how you execute cocky funny. You talk about her true motive in a light hearted manner, and then you shift the joke in this case, to the horny Skouter men that know the truth and can take it rather than focusing all the attention on her.

These are just two simple examples from my own chats to show how Negs and Cocky Funny, can be extremely useful in flirtation. But the important thing to remember, is that one must exercise subtlety and caution when executing them both, as well as social grace to 'give people some face.'

[Camel]

Good thread