My de facto husband

[real_king]

hes got another one la. simple.

[speed0]

Sis, open up and talk to him about your feeling. Don't keep to yourself.

[imdestinyz]

Originally Posted by Snowkit

We have been through thick and thin, Forgive and forget.
I am always tempted by the better options outside, but everything has its pros and cons. Finally I'm succumbing to my fate.

It could be that I'm more like a mother to him than how we just started. Which is why he begin to lose sexual interest in me?

Thanks for classifying me under the slut category.
But I would like to reiterate that I am not FL.
I'm a girl, can you feel what I feel when he's not interested to have sex with me and I have to doubt my attractiveness.
I know it's wrong to betray him.. While I'm not sure if he's doing the same?
You could say I'm a open-minded person because I am perfectly fine if he's doing others (as long as it's a NSA, protected sex kinda relationship)

Finally, who doesn't wish her/his husband/wife could fulfill her sexual desire?
To find someone that has best of both world is not easy.
I will try my best to be a good wife.
Thanks all for sharing your thoughts with me.

well, the other side always feels better, always seems to be a better option. While the grass looks greener, every considered how much shit is underneath those grass? If you were to get over there, sometimes, it must just be getting into sh!t more than anything else!

If something is broken, how about fix it? talk about it and work on from there?

[happywoody]

for reasons best know to your hubby, u're not getting intimacy as a wife from him. i'm assuming he's not impotent or suffering from any medical conditions that makes sex not possible.

having an affair whether nsa or otherwise may fill the void temporarily.
u know your marriage best. is there anything worth holding on - kids, family, promises of the future, other commitments perhaps?

if u've tried all means to get funky and elicit no response, then as a husband he's failed in his fundamental duty.

i say enjoy the moment/today until u feel a need to decide.

[jackson555]

Communication is the key. Hopefully you both can maintain an open mind and be receptive to each other's opinion.

[bbmapple]

Sis Snowkit, u are not alone.... It is perfectly normal for women to have higher demands and expectations than their spouse...

But first, if this situation with husband has been going on for many years, IT IS A PROBLEM. talking and trying to seduce won't help at all. I been there too.

Much as I don't agree to having to satisfy yourself outside of the marriage, but what's a woman got to do? Suffer in silence?? Or keep buying new toys??

I don't even care about the other guy(s) now, cos IMHO men are just receptive to almost any pussy... best if the girl is married and won't be able to 纠缠 or be in a position to demand a proper r/s status...

Anyway back to your situation... Not sure why or how u are able to accept the husband who can't fulfill your needs and yet seek outside "enjoyment"... Maybe I read wrongly....
However I do agree with you, if the husband doesn't get intimate with his wife, then the wife will doubt her own attractiveness and even fall into "so called traps" by other sexciting males... This is not our problem cos it is only human...

I guess, u really need to check out your husband...
(1) Is he under any form of medication or hormonal changes which is affecting his drive? May need to seek medical advice.
(2) Did u ever insult him or make fun of his skills and/or tools , during the love making?? Cos it will adversely impact his attraction for u, or even instill fear in him that makes him unwilling to even initiate sex.
(3) Are u more dominant in the marriage? Cos if u are, he may be facing some sort of "self confidence" issues as well. Men can be quite sensitive at times when faced with a wife who is too pretty and/or salary too high. Their low self esteem WILL reduce sex drive too. I think it's an ego issue, as with all human beings.
(4) Did he have any recent change in behavior or lifestyle habits? E.g. Buying new underwear, spray new perfume/ cologne, been staying out late for unknown reasons, got any new female and/or male friends whom he doesn't want to even intro to u?? Cos this may all be part of some telltale signs that he is having "extra activities" and he is not ready to tell u about...

Sis, now we are living in a modern age. Women are no longer dependent on men. And we are just as entitled to own freedom to decide our own fates. I hope u work out your situation with a solution which will make u happy!!

[happywoody]

Originally Posted by bbmapple

Sis, now we are living in a modern age. Women are no longer dependent on men. And we are just as entitled to own freedom to decide our own fates.

couldn't be said any much better.
i'm privileged to have met some of these liberated souls who are mistresses of their own fate. applause

[heye]

why u dont ask urself if he is like tis in the past b4 u married him.
Maybe he is suspecting u having an affair outside.
My suggestion is for u to hav a good talk with him.
Personally as a man the only time a husband will not have sex is because he lose faith in you.
there are many factors like are you helping him on household chore and financailly.
i given up on my life and prevent sex bczu i also suspecting her having affair outside and futhermore she is not helpin out at all in the family
Marriage is for life and treasure it

it is nt a role of a man to work out on the marriage.
why not improve urself more and understand each other more.
tinkin abt ur husband bad point isnt goin to work out on anyting.

talking bad abt ur husband isnt right too.
I always believe dont do to others what u dont like others to do it to you.
all other reason is bullshit unless u can prove he is having an affair.

u can always tink bad despite many issue and he is not divorcing u might be because he is still waiting for u to change.

woman nd attention , care , love and a future so do man.
if u are causing him to be insecure then are you nt at fault too.
Every1 marry bcoz of love and why love do not last is bcause being together doesnt necessary means sex only.
we nd sex 200$ can settle how much is he payin to tc the family and his time commiment etc
he is also being binded to stay faithful

[imdestinyz]

so has TS found a solution?

[bbmapple]

Hi heye,

So did u talk to wife also?? Instead of suspecting her having affair, why dont u confront her?? And IF she really is, can u accept & are u already mentally prepared for the worst??

Do u know, if women need sex, we dont even have to pay?? If we ask, I am sure some male friends will "happily volunteer" to "help"....

Sometimes it is really up to the couple involved to weigh things. If the marriage is worth to carry on. All things cannot only hear 1 side of the story. If TS is really not happy in her marriage, she is equally entitled to leave the marriage.

[nicklite]

Originally Posted by banana81sg

did u ever have a talk with him abt the issue?

What banana said is true, however talking to him on this issue can be deadly as well. So pick the correct environment and correct time to adjust your emotion before you bring this up. It's pretty sensitive to husband like that. You can also try to let go all mood and casually bring this to tease him. There might be something with your husband that doesn't like about you or your features. You have to know.

[nicklite]

Originally Posted by sarahxx

hi sis,

totally understand how u feel. was in the exact situation as u, but im not married. its my ex bf tht had super low drive. my drive is high, hence i always feel unsatisfied n unhappy bcos i always had to initiate any form of intimacy. we were tgth for a long time but i wasnt happy. until one day i met someone that cld fill that sexual void that he cld not provide me with.. he was fun, spontaneous and sexciting.

but is this really what i want? no. though this guy can provide me with all sorts of fun, we weren't right for each other in other aspects.. character fit, outlook in lfe etc. i do miss my ex, and looking back in retrospect i wld hv been more open w him on how i felt abt our sexual situation. mayb things wld hv been different, i dont know.

anw, my point is. i guess u hv to ask urself how much u love ur hubby vice versa n weigh out the consequences if its worth it or not. having an open convo (which i didn't have w my ex, and regret till this day) will definitely help for u to judge how to proceed further. don't exactly know ur full situation so cant comment much but.. sometimes its better to stop before u're in too deep.

all the best.

Wow, i strongly agree with Sarah! Same thing for guys, joy and fun is just a temp. Their have to know which house for them is the best.

[bbmapple]

Just sharing....

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/56911...ushpmg00000039

[Snowkit]

Originally Posted by bbmapple

Just sharing....

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/56911...ushpmg00000039

Thanks for sharing that I'm not the only one who felt this way.

I've yet to tackle this issue with my partner.
Thanks all for the advice.

[heye]

Originally Posted by bbmapple

Hi heye,

So did u talk to wife also?? Instead of suspecting her having affair, why dont u confront her?? And IF she really is, can u accept & are u already mentally prepared for the worst??

Do u know, if women need sex, we dont even have to pay?? If we ask, I am sure some male friends will "happily volunteer" to "help"....

Sometimes it is really up to the couple involved to weigh things. If the marriage is worth to carry on. All things cannot only hear 1 side of the story. If TS is really not happy in her marriage, she is equally entitled to leave the marriage.

FYI - i had divorce her i found out she had 5 FB and i cant take it despite trying to work things out
Her reason is she needs excitement and new love and she still choose me bcoz i can tc of the family .
She even plan to cheat our flat with 2 of her FB.
She will get her retribution.
I am relieve now and no longer have to worry now,
only heart ache for my kids.
I had tried to wait for her to change too bad she was caught red handed in hotel.
Do remember when a guy bed a gal she will boost.
U dont pay in cash but u pay with ur reputation.

Guys always lose out when divorce but woman always lose out when it comes to flirting