Marrying A Thai ger - Page 77

Si Geena · #**1141** 02-06-2008, 03:21 PM

Jai yen yen, translates literally to heart cold cold. It's not as awful as it sounds, it just means being calm and patient, the direct contrast to Jai rorn, or heart hot, which means impatient, blustery.

Ot Ton is a more interesting word. It means to tolerate, to put up, to bear. Ta han (Soldiers) Ot Ton ( Tolerate). In this case, when your loved one doesn't do something to your expectation, sometimes just Jai Yen a bit, Ot Ton a bit.

So Jai Yen if you can, and Ot Ton if you cannot.

suteerak1099 · #**1142** 02-06-2008, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinseeker

These things happen when the guy gets smittened.......... Now, he's emptied out with accounts in the red, he can only watch with eyes peeled, to understand that $ cannot buy love. The beneficiary invited him to join her in Thailand. He cannot step out of the country, while being entangled with bankruptcy lawsuits.

i shall nt speculate which part of the world this colleague of your's come from, cos in principle- as humans we're all vulnerable. kudos to him for going the extra mile to set things right in the benficiary's life. But perhaps he wasnt doing his maths when he should.

somethings in life r just beyond our means & control, if enough is never enough, she'd become a burden to him. i guess he got himself into a fix, particularly when he couldnt even converse proper with her, n letting his wallet do the talking proved that the leather on his wallet was stretched thin in due time. maybe as a consolation, the beneficiary had offered him solace with her in her homeland, but since he's now a bankrupt......... how many yrs would it take for him to recover n reinstate his financial status? 3yrs? 5yr? given the span of time, things change, circumstances change, ppl also change. 3-5yrs, would she have found herself a new man in the course of time?

sigh, i empathize w your colleague

twinseeker · #**1143** 02-06-2008, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

i shall nt speculate which part of the world this colleague of your's come from, cos in principle- as humans we're all vulnerable. kudos to him for going the extra mile to set things right in the benficiary's life. But perhaps he wasnt doing his maths when he should.

somethings in life r just beyond our means & control, if enough is never enough, she'd become a burden to him. i guess he got himself into a fix, particularly when he couldnt even converse proper with her, n letting his wallet do the talking proved that the leather on his wallet was stretched thin in due time. maybe as a consolation, the beneficiary had offered him solace with her in her homeland, but since he's now a bankrupt......... how many yrs would it take for him to recover n reinstate his financial status? 3yrs? 5yr? given the span of time, things change, circumstances change, ppl also change. 3-5yrs, would she have found herself a new man in the course of time?

sigh, i empathize w your colleague

I think I have to agree that his hopes of any future with her is almost zero. From what I understand from him, it might take him another 7years or more, to crawl out of bankruptcy. Maybe by then, she already married a new man and have a few kids running around.

pussyman72 · #**1144** 02-06-2008, 04:13 PM

[QUOTE=Si Geena;2804835]Jai yen yen, translates literally to heart cold cold. It's not as awful as it sounds, it just means being calm and patient, the direct contrast to Jai rorn, or heart hot, which means impatient, blustery.[\QUOTE]

actual should be keep cool

Si Geena · #**1145** 02-06-2008, 04:51 PM

Yes, that's more accurate.

I guess all of us need to cultivate a little bit of Jai Yen and Ot Ton when we venture into a relationship with a foreigner, and a working girl at that.

OceanEleven · #**1146** 02-06-2008, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinseeker

I think I have to agree that his hopes of any future with her is almost zero. From what I understand from him, it might take him another 7years or more, to crawl out of bankruptcy. Maybe by then, she already married a new man and have a few kids running around.

I take my hats off him.....

suteerak1099 · #**1147** 02-06-2008, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OceanEleven

I take my hats off him.....

he win hands down, for a relationship so uncertain... yet has the courage to pour out his life savings, and dwindle into bankruptcy. maybe he deserves the honorary "purple heart" medal - cos he "tio lai siong" (internal injury to the heart)

pussyman72 · #**1148** 02-06-2008, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

he win hands down, for a relationship so uncertain... yet has the courage to pour out his life savings, and dwindle into bankruptcy. maybe he deserves the honorary "purple heart" medal - cos he "tio lai siong" (internal injury to the heart)

aye i also kanna purpple heart lei

somemore collect 2 x medal liao lei hehehehe not joking na... really

most important is that he wakeup the rest is up to him to pickup all the things he lose and stand again.

also dont try to fall into the hole again. it just very simple i seen n know some actually wanna kill themself after they lose everything bcos of a girl.

pussyman72 · #**1149** 02-06-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Yes, that's more accurate.

I guess all of us need to cultivate a little bit of Jai Yen and Ot Ton when we venture into a relationship with a foreigner, and a working girl at that.

jai yen or not i dont know most of us will have a problem sometimes when involve in long distance relationship.

especially when there is a heated arguement. especially over the phone it very very hard to understand each other plus language barrier.

i learn something is that if the aurgement is going to be very bad. it is best for both to back off and tell each other to cool down for few hrs n talk again. just leave each other alone for a few hrs or 1 day then if feel like talking again then start to talk about it else forget it. no point quarrle over the phone.

goodpartner · #**1150** 02-06-2008, 06:56 PM

Had a chance to chit-chat on some random topics I've picked up from this thread with my tai-yai GF, who now plans to move to maesai for good.

On the topic of giving sinsoot (spell?) she says it's really only for the "rich" in thailand to practise; her mom wouldn't care as long as she's happy with the man she like, also maybe her dad passed away oredi.

On marriage and babies, her views quite shock me; her grandparents at home heard rumours that she's pregnant in BKK and are actually VERY happy for her; coz they all know she love kids. I ask why they neber question how cum she's not even married?!?

Irregardless of the fact that I've no intention of marrying her, yet (for personal and legal issues), she's still leaning towards the notion of making babies with me w/o any formalites; we even chatted about the issues around the kids not having ideal nationalities, etc - in which case she was quick to quote a few of her "unmarried" friend's example where the babies get thai nationalities even though they are tai-yai but holding some kind of restricted maesai thai IC.

Being in a semi-shock state, I just listened on while she happily yak away non-stop on these examples, but as far as I can tell, it seems it's quite a "norm" where she cum from.

I don't know how else to "reject" her...

Of coz, what I'm experiencing above could not be the "average" perspective from thai (or thai decend) ger; her situation is not typical and her family is not depending on her for food. Just sharing what I got on this topic so far

BTW, whether it's paid companionship or sponsorship, she is not getting a lot from me... hint: I mentioned earlier that a min of 20K/mth sounds too much for me oredi (Ya, fuking stingy me

). In her mind I'm a poor guy always harping on how to use up my money.

pussyman72 · #**1151** 02-06-2008, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Of coz, what I'm experiencing above could not be the "average" perspective from thai (or thai decend) ger; her situation is not typical and her family is not depending on her for food. Just sharing what I got on this topic so far

BTW, whether it's paid companionship or sponsorship, she is not getting a lot from me... hint: I mentioned earlier that a min of 20K/mth sounds too much for me oredi (Ya, fuking stingy me

). In her mind I'm a poor guy always harping on how to use up my money.

avg $$$ to give her if about 10k a mth if stay in a villiage infact it already alot. usual family staying in villiage about 4 to 5k is good enough to feed the whole family.

as for sinsoot it all up to the family n her. i know of bros who's wife family dont take any sinsoot and married to sgp.

goodpartner · #**1152** 02-06-2008, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyman72

avg $$$ to give her if about 10k a mth if stay in a villiage infact it already alot.

That's what I tot too, nothing much to buy if in a village - oni got wet market or at most buy a motorbike cost a few-K 2nd hand.

Even in city like BKK, my experience is that it depends on how she spend. If every meal also eat MK or Fuji, and watch movie get those 500baht deluxe seats, how much also not enuff. So I lead by example, spend 30 baht eat kao-mun-kai (chicken rice) plus 10 baht pepsi - which is really my average meal back in Sg's kopitiam

My next mission is to help her find some income in maesai... after some tot, I suggested her to venture into the tourism industry; e.g. she can learn to start as a personal tour guide for those who like to take the unbeaten track up to Kyaing Tong via the Myanmar-thai border. Any other tots from bros here can share a bit? (Trying not to do the usual like starting a stall to sell stuffs)

pussyman72 · #**1153** 02-06-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodpartner

That's what I tot too, nothing much to buy if in a village - oni got wet market or at most buy a motorbike cost a few-K 2nd hand.

My next mission is to help her find some income in maesai... after some tot, I suggested her to venture into the tourism industry; e.g. she can learn to start as a personal tour guide for those who like to take the unbeaten track up to Kyaing Tong via the Myanmar-thai border. Any other tots from bros here can share a bit? (Trying not to do the usual like starting a stall to sell stuffs)

hehehe yea i only spend about 100 baht for food a day in my hometown. nothing much to spend unless i go to chiang rai.

maybe u should take alook on internet shop over in maesai. the last few time i go there i dont really see alot.

i know there is one chinese shop 2nd floor near the wang tong hotel. always have alot of tourist go there use internet. he been doing internet business at least 8 yrs there. 2000 i always go to his shop to surf the net that is when i was with my ex who stay in maesai.

in 2000 he have about 4 to 5pc. now think about 8. never really count the last time i go there last yr.

just get some where near the hotel can liao. think avg rental for a 3 story shop is about 8 to 10k baht a mth. she can stay in the shop also cos upstair can be ur own bed room. the last time i open a shop in my hometown the rental about 4k baht a mth. water n electricity bill avg about 1k plus to 2k plus. that one u have to decide how to save ur bills

internet line about 1k baht for a 1mb line per mth from TTnT.

initial u had to help out on her rental and bills for the first 3 to 6mths after that u can let her run it. she also must learn how to troubleshoot pc and manage it else if call pple repair knn most costly...... best DIY and install the program urself

if can go there stay 2 weeks to a mth help her out. that's what i did.

Most important Dont let any of her relative or whoever come help her manage nb sure problem alot. learn from my exp..... of course not all will be like that but still better to be save the sorry.

vmtech · #**1154** 03-06-2008, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodpartner

My next mission is to help her find some income in maesai... after some tot, I suggested her to venture into the tourism industry; e.g. she can learn to start as a personal tour guide for those who like to take the unbeaten track up to Kyaing Tong via the Myanmar-thai border. Any other tots from bros here can share a bit? (Trying not to do the usual like starting a stall to sell stuffs)

Kengtung really nothing to do besides selling bbq stuff, kow soi/fern/soi noi by the roads, opening a restaurent like many others by Nongtuum lake, running a guesthouse tt charges 5usd/night

keke tts about all sia.

What mine did was purchase paddy lands/fish lakes and renting them out, collecting rent and a % of the harvest.
pretty good returns and ensures a stable supply of rice etc. even if cannot rent out, paddyfields are there for u to DIY and make ur own harvests worth.

Si Geena · #**1155** 03-06-2008, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pussyman72

i learn something is that if the aurgement is going to be very bad. it is best for both to back off and tell each other to cool down for few hrs n talk again. just leave each other alone for a few hrs or 1 day then if feel like talking again then start to talk about it else forget it. no point quarrle over the phone.

Yes yes, absolutely agree with this comment. When neither party is listening, talking any louder isn't going to get your point across. Moreover, when the language barrier exists.

But if the matter is not re-visited, it has to be at least mutually agreed. I sometimes feel that if either side felt that it was not satisfactorily resolved, it may lead to more miss-comm in the future.