Sexless Marriage

[Killingbird]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

[Crayon321]

Bro, maybe bring her out on a date if you can ask your parent to look after your children? Maybe a good meal and some wine might help to spark things a little? (:

[larue]

男人不坏,女人不爱.

[LHamilton]

Originally Posted by Killingbird

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Sounds exactly like mine, you're not alone. Have you suggested marriage counselling? If she refuse to, just drop the D bomb on her to test water. No sex is a valid reason for divorce. If she refuses, you know what to do. Loving your kids is one thing, stuck in a sexless marriage its another.

I highly suggest you keep up with your efforts of being faithful until all is over. Take care.

[iceman1314]

Bro, have you tried taking her out on a date? Like during your courtship days when you tried ways and means for her to drop her panties? Cause what you are doing is part of being a married couple, she might feel that the spark is gone, so sex becomes a chore instead of something enjoyable. Try taking her out, send flowers to her, wine and dine her like how you use too.

[al8055]

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

[Annoymous]

I applaud you for being faithful. Keep it up bro. Agree with going counselling. I do know of couples whose wife doesn't mind hubby going out to satisfy needs (pure commercial) because the wife just don't have the drive.

[java_cool]

Bro, my 2 cents worth ... just like us men, women also have sexual urges ... maybe its time to have a heart-to-heart talk with her as husband and wife.

Find out what's really going on ... sex in a marriage is necessary to sustain a relationship and based on what you ranted on being faithful, doing household chores, etc. you need to sort this out.

Do not suffer in silence bro. Talk it out, tell her what are your needs as a normal man and assess the situation after. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Been in a similar situation before, do something about it as you need & deserve to be happy and content in your life's journey. Don't wait until its too late for regrets and find out that you wasted so much time being sad or discontent.

We cannot control everything in life but we can control on how to make the most of whatever life has to offer us.

[asoyatu]

Good advices to TS to talk things out, get help, etc
TS is not alone here. Heard of stories that some women really do fuck up this department at some point of her life for different reasons.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by Annoymous

I applaud you for being faithful. Keep it up bro. Agree with going counselling. I do know of couples whose wife doesn't mind hubby going out to satisfy needs (pure commercial) because the wife just don't have the drive.

These bros r so lucky to hv such understanding wives ...givs them the freedom to enjoy sex with other women ...v. hard to find...prolly 1 in a million

[PandaFluff]

First of all well done for getting it off your chest. That first step is the hardest as you constantly tell yourself maybe tomorrow will be better.

I understand the situation you are in as mine is the same minus the kids. I would like to give you a couple of words of advise before thinking of getting a divorce.

Try speaking to her. Tell her how you feel tell her you want to be intimate with her. Also find out why she does not want sex. Their will be a reason. Maybe it is physiological with her. Maybe it is painful or she easily gets UTI's whatever the reason is whether you like it or not work on that. If you have done your part and nothing has changed then I would seriously discuss divorce with her.

Unfortunately in today world we dont communicate enough and tend to drift apart without any solid reason.

I also take my hat off to you for being faithful. This should be a huge plus point for your wife as any man that does not have sex for a year will start looking else where.

You sound like a genuine nice person and good husband. Hang in and be strong!!!

[Nearmello]

I applaud you for your restraint and effort in staying faithful. thumbs up.
Like what other bro have said, have a talk with her.
But my advice would be from the love making POV instead of a relationship POV.

Even though you are a married couple, you still need to "seduce" your wife.
Do stuff which surprise her, not in the buy-her-a-pleasant-gift, but in the thrilling exciting sense. Do stuff she has nvr thought you normally do, let her feel that there is part of you she has yet to explore.
Also, Sexual arousal depends a lot on physical attractiveness. maybe consider getting yourself into better physical shape if you are not. Read some books about seduction if you think it helps. Dont let your marriage become stale by the mundane stuff in life.

You have done your duty well as the provider, but dont forget to play the part of the seducer as well.!

[mrnakal]

Bro TS, i've been in your exact situation before. It was very frustrating when you want sex and your wife reject. Trust me, i know how it feels. At one point i was asking myself, am i not worthy for her? What do i lack? What is not enough for her?

What you can do like what some bros here suggest, bring her on a date, shower with love like how you wanna get her to be your gf. If this doesn't work, try talking to her what you feel throught whatapp. Yes, that is what i did.. Cause some women don't like talking face to face. They can't express or don't know how to express when looking at you. Maybe shy. I might be wrong on this, but it worth the try.

Thankfully it works, at least for me.

Hang in there brother.

[hi2u]

Thanks for sharing your story bro.
Kudos to you for not wrecking your marriage. This is a sex forum so I leave it up to your discretion how long will you hold it in.

Communication is key. HTHT with your wife about it. Sex does improve and spices up the relationship

Originally Posted by Killingbird

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

[soulcase55]

Can understand your frustrations TS, read many stories and heard some from my close friends as well.

Imho, divorce shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind(due to kids) so I suggest trying other solutions first before resorting to that.

From my experience with girls(not that many but I would say I understand them quite a bit), when you say have sex with her, is it just the usual penetrate straight away kinda of love making session, or involves some foreplay?

The reason why I ask is that I feel that sex should be a two way thing- satisfying each others needs. I focus a lot on foreplay before the actual thing to set the stage right and do my giving and receiving part well.

Eg, I love BJ so after receiving from my partner, I'll also eat her pussy, finger her to "reward" her. Else 69 is my favourite as it really turns each other on, before we move on to fucking. Not to forget sensual kissing and touching each other.

More often that not, keep doing the same position could eliminate the element of surprise and excitement for each other too. Trying out new positions at different places in the house does help ignite the spark

Just my two cents. Good luck TS