Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
It is really disheartening to read the exchanges between @maxdr21 and other forum members. This got me thinking...what is the point of getting married if both cannot be true to each other?
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxdr21
I stopped the scene after I got married. Since the incident I went out full force to reignite back the old flame
Edit: Figured I can make use of her guilt and she would actually help out with the housechore, which is not bad towards my favour
Maybe she is also biding her time because of kid. It is too early to call it quits. She is guilty because she still cares. Win back her heart and attention.
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We lead a mundane routines, so anything out of the norm it’s quite obvious. Starting from the constant glued to her phone from day to night (for months) even while beside me she is constantly texting someone (first clue), and she would share how toxic the office culture is by embracing the idea that having office affairs is the norm ppl are seeing each other despite having a partner (second clue) I didn’t dwell further and the news broke out when she returned home one day from her jogging session with her ‘colleague’ but with a sense of showered aroma (third clue). After a few questioning she couldn’t hold up her stories and eventually spill the bean while crying how guilty she felt. I asked to see the convo but she is reluctant, but eventually gave in and the messages sort of confirmed with the constant alluring convo that the guy is asking for more and details of how they both enjoyed the ‘session’.
Nevertheless, the matter dies down and we agreed to put it behind. But we all know this marks a new understanding of our marriage. Whatever happens outside stay out of the family, and we continue to live in harmony happily ever after.
I don’t see this is entirely her mistake, but is partially my fault for not giving her the attention and focuses too much on the kid and work, which contributes to her opening up to someone who is willing to showered her the attention. In any case things alr happened, and I recognised u can never be in control over another person. If u cannot fight them, u join them. And I’m glad I did and I actually found someone else thru online platform who is having the same plight with her hubby and is constantly seeking out man to get even with her hubby. Yet to score but I am working on it lol.
So sorry to hear that she cheated on you during the marriage. How long were u guys married for?
Have you guys tried communicating openly and resolving the issues in the relationship?
I hope I'm not bering judgemental, but how does seeking out other fwbs or ladies outside your marriage help in saving the marriage?
You sound like there's no more sexual intimacy in the relationship anymore?
Have you guys discussed having an open marriage or relationship?
Maybe she is also biding her time because of kid. It is too early to call it quits. She is guilty because she still cares. Win back her heart and attention.
Yes agreed Give her another chance, make peace and work hard in maintaining the marriage
It is really disheartening to read the exchanges between @maxdr21 and other forum members. This got me thinking...what is the point of getting married if both cannot be true to each other?
This is just the tip of the iceberg, you should venture into Matters of the Heart section to get bewildered. HAHAHA.
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quite lucky @maxdr21 bro. If divorce, have to be poorer because confirm need at least pay kid maintenance unless your wife don't want. So now stay like that also good. You get to fuck other while still in marriage and not getting pwned badly by WC
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by haikim999
So sorry to hear that she cheated on you during the marriage. How long were u guys married for?
Have you guys tried communicating openly and resolving the issues in the relationship?
I hope I'm not bering judgemental, but how does seeking out other fwbs or ladies outside your marriage help in saving the marriage?
You sound like there's no more sexual intimacy in the relationship anymore?
Have you guys discussed having an open marriage or relationship?
I had tried talking to her on many occasions, she couldn’t break clean as she said felt bad to ignore the colleague and also awkward to just not talk to him in the office. I’m so tired to talk alr, this has been giving me many sleepless night and consumed my mental energy till I don’t have the capacity to function probably.
One outlet which I find can balance my emotion is to go down the same path as her, to find a fwb and seek an outlet to disperse this negative vibe. Probably it sounds like my own excuses but this is by far helping me to stabilise my emotion to carrying on to lead the life as per normal.
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi
Quite lucky @maxdr21 bro. If divorce, have to be poorer because confirm need at least pay kid maintenance unless your wife don't want. So now stay like that also good. You get to fuck other while still in marriage and not getting pwned badly by WC
If want divorce, wait until your kid is 21 or super near 21. At least don't need pay child maintenance. As for wife maintenance, maybe see if she agree don't need or want to marry the so call new bf, then you don't need worry about wife maintenance already hahaha
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi
If want divorce, wait until your kid is 21 or super near 21. At least don't need pay child maintenance. As for wife maintenance, maybe see if she agree don't need or want to marry the so call new bf, then you don't need worry about wife maintenance already hahaha
Not as seen as easy bro
U still have to split the share of HDB share ..... guy always on the losing edge
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Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxdr21
Didn’t know that so many bros are facing the same plight.
Just to share my 2cents: Newly married for 4 years with a 18mth old kid, recently found out my wife been hanging out with her new office colleague, went out with him jogging, dinner, drinking, and even to his house. She’s apologetic and still will accommodate to sex (to reduce her guilt) upon my request. But I find it so disgusted. Didn’t touch her since the incident, more than happy to give the other guy the chance to pleasure her instead.
For the sake of the kid I will hold on. Meanwhile venture out for massage for quick release from time to time with ever different chicks to fulfil my own desires. 那就各玩各的!
Bro,
Sorry to hear that your wife has committed adultery.
My most sincere and honest advice? Divorce her asap.
10 Points To Consider before filing for Divorce based on Adultery
Divorce based on Adultery: Firstly, the plaintiff must prove that adultery has been committed by the defendant. Secondly, the plaintiff must prove that this has made it intolerable to live with the defendant. www.gjclaw.com.sg
"A plaintiff will not be able to get a divorce if he/she had continued to live together with the defendant for more than six months upon finding out about the adulterous relationship. Therefore, once a plaintiff has confirmed suspicions about his/her spouse engaging in an adulterous relationship, he/she should commence divorce proceedings as soon as possible if he/she wishes for it to be on the grounds of adultery."
You can never trust her again. Will you ever trust her with your life? Don't spend the rest of your life with such a person. You may be at risk of STDs and HIV, etc.
She doesn't respect you.
长痛不如短痛.
Be a MAN. Meet and marry an attractive, kind, and smart girl of your type who truly loves you. You can do it. You only need to change your mental frame...
My advice may seem harsh and cruel. But I know you will thank me in 20 - 30 years.
Good luck to you.
Bro WB
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“知彼知己, 百战不殆。"
得失随缘,心无增减。活在当下, 分秒感恩。
I accept whatever is happening to me at this moment. I'm relaxed, self-assured, happy, thankful, and at peace NOW.
I had tried talking to her on many occasions, she couldn’t break clean as she said felt bad to ignore the colleague and also awkward to just not talk to him in the office. I’m so tired to talk alr, this has been giving me many sleepless night and consumed my mental energy till I don’t have the capacity to function
One outlet which I find can balance my emotion is to go down the same path as her, to find a fwb and seek an outlet to disperse this negative vibe. Probably it sounds like my own excuses but this is by far helping me to stabilise my emotion to carrying on to lead the life as per normal.
Perhaps give her an ultimatum; quit job or marriage
10 Points To Consider before filing for Divorce based on Adultery
Divorce based on Adultery: Firstly, the plaintiff must prove that adultery has been committed by the defendant. Secondly, the plaintiff must prove that this has made it intolerable to live with the defendant. www.gjclaw.com.sg
"A plaintiff will not be able to get a divorce if he/she had continued to live together with the defendant for more than six months upon finding out about the adulterous relationship. Therefore, once a plaintiff has confirmed suspicions about his/her spouse engaging in an adulterous relationship, he/she should commence divorce proceedings as soon as possible if he/she wishes for it to be on the grounds of adultery."
You can never trust her again. Will you ever trust her with your life? Don't spend the rest of your life with such a person. You may be at risk of STDs and HIV, etc.
She doesn't respect you.
长痛不如短痛.
Be a MAN. Meet and marry an attractive, kind, and smart girl of your type who truly loves you. You can do it. You only need to change your mental frame...
My advice may seem harsh and cruel. But I know you will thank me in 20 - 30 years.
Good luck to you.
Bro WB
Not so easy. He will get pwned by WC not matter. He will confirm be poorer unless he is drawing a high salary. If not child maintenance, wife maintenance and spilt of asset will be what he facing. Since his wife ok with him eat outside, not a bad thing to stay status quo
Re: Anyone else feels trapped in a cage in a sexless Marriage?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxdr21
I had tried talking to her on many occasions, she couldn’t break clean as she said felt bad to ignore the colleague and also awkward to just not talk to him in the office. I’m so tired to talk alr, this has been giving me many sleepless night and consumed my mental energy till I don’t have the capacity to function probably.
One outlet which I find can balance my emotion is to go down the same path as her, to find a fwb and seek an outlet to disperse this negative vibe. Probably it sounds like my own excuses but this is by far helping me to stabilise my emotion to carrying on to lead the life as per normal.
She eat 1, You eat 1 -- Stabilize your emotion
She eat 1, You eat 2 -- Slightly make you happier
She eat 1, You eat 3 -- Enjoy buffet in your Harem
She eat 1, You eat ? -- Tell her you creampie don't know how many girls. They make you feel young again. HAHAHA.