Regret Marrying A China Wife?

[applepie99]

Hi Bros,

I am in my late 30s and planning to get married to my PRC girlfriend next year. She's in her early 20s and working in a 5 star hotel as a GRO in Beijing. I actually first got to know her when I was a hotel guest there. Then we exchanged phone numbers, and since then, she became my regular date whenever I am in Beijing for business. It wasn't hard to bed her, happened after our 2nd date. We have been 2 years together, and lately she's hinting me to to marrry her and not carry on like this. She said her mum has been pressuring her to get married, and have kids so that her mum can help us to look after.

I don't really know her real past, I can only listen to her side of the story. She said I am her 2nd boyfriend, and the first boyfriend was actually puppy love when she was 19. She's very nice to me, and always show concern about my work and my parents. So far, the only bad habit she has is playing mahjong during her off day, which is ok to me because this would occupy her time when I'm not with her.

As we all know, PRC girls are very good actresses good liars, and plain lazy. I believe that she's only revealing her good side to me. I don't know I am making the right decision to marry her because 2 years is not enough to understand her. I dated my first girlfriend for 6 years, and we still end up seperate ways. I heard many stories that PRC girls have 2 faces. In fact I have a friend that married a PRC SYT, and she's really lazy and good for nothing, even for sex. She only likes missionary, so that she doesn't need to exercise. She doesn't do housework or cook, and complaint to his friends that he is not good enough for her, although he's earning 5 figure income. Imagine they have to get their dinner everyday in the foodcourt. I also have a friend that divorce his Singapore wife and marry a PRC girl, and later regret, after the PRC girl revealed her true colors.

So far, I've not heard of any success stories, and this is a big concern. While I love my girlfriend, I don't know if I will regret later, especially wth our age difference. I jus like to hear from bros who have PRC wives to share their views here. Many thanks.

[RealEstateGuy]

Bra, couple of things to consider 1) you say you dont know her past. you dont. but you also dont know her present. You are in SG and she is not. So the time you know her is 2 years but you have not spent everyday with her like hubby and wife as BF-GF. Can tell you that is a whole different thing where the real person is revealed because no one even you can put on an act that long. 2) PRC girls are lazy. Not all but I dont find the work ethic to be the same as for SG people. Maybe its the male female ratio off balance so women think they can get what they want. I think as a SG man you buy into that you are losing your bargaining power. My philosophy is even if a woman is to be a housewife, and Im OK with that, they should show some responsibility in life. At least they would know how hard you work. As far as being a good wife, can she cook for you now? Or expect a maid? 3) Shopping habits? BTW I wouldnt rule out having a friend check her out while you are in SG.

[Apple&Orange]

Ya i have a friend whom married a PRC too. Thou she was a decent gal, but was lazy and alwys complaining according to him.

And u are rite, they can act. Can never tell wat is a lie or truth when it comes to them. PLs consider carefully especially u do not really know her.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by applepie99

It wasn't hard to bed her, happened after our 2nd date.

If it wasn't hard for you to bed her, what gives you the confidence that other men haven't had the same success in your absence?

[applepie99]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

If it wasn't hard for you to bed her, what gives you the confidence that other men haven't had the same success in your absence?

With my past girlfriends in Singapore, they are not difficult to bed too.......Moreover, I felt that Chinese girls are quite liberal when come to sex, even for good girls.

[Todtan]

To put your mind at rest, spend some money to hire a PI to check on her while you were away. It's money that is going to be well spent since you will lose out even more when you get married.

Good luck to you!

[applepie99]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Bra, couple of things to consider 1) you say you dont know her past. you dont. but you also dont know her present. You are in SG and she is not. So the time you know her is 2 years but you have not spent everyday with her like hubby and wife as BF-GF.

We're not married, so how are we going to be together like husband and wife? Even with my past girlfriends in Singapore, I only see them once or twice a week, so it is really no difference to my current relationship. For now, I'm in Beijing 50% of the time, and we meet about 3-4 times a week.

Can tell you that is a whole different thing where the real person is revealed because no one even you can put on an act that long. 2) PRC girls are lazy. Not all but I dont find the work ethic to be the same as for SG people. Maybe its the male female ratio off balance so women think they can get what they want. I think as a SG man you buy into that you are losing your bargaining power. My philosophy is even if a woman is to be a housewife, and Im OK with that, they should show some responsibility in life. At least they would know how hard you work. As far as being a good wife, can she cook for you now? Or expect a maid? 3) Shopping habits? BTW I wouldnt rule out having a friend check her out while you are in SG.

She's quite a good cook, occasionally will cook dinner for me. Obviously she didn't ask for maid or demand for luxurious items for now. Honestly I cannot find any fault in her..that's my worry.

[applepie99]

Originally Posted by Todtan

To put your mind at rest, spend some money to hire a PI to check on her while you were away. It's money that is going to be well spent since you will lose out even more when you get married.

Good luck to you!

I'm not suspecting that she's cheating behind me, so hiring a PI is of no use. PI won't be able to give me a report about her character or whether our 八字 can click. my worry is "what you see is not what you get".

[RealEstateGuy]

Bra, then maybe she is OK and the one. But if you are going to refute the suggestions here then why ask? You can read the whole board, tons of cases etc. But at the end of the day, only you can make the decision. We just give you more to think about but dont take it personally. Why not rent and apt and live with her when you are there?

[applepie99]

Originally Posted by Apple&Orange

Ya i have a friend whom married a PRC too. Thou she was a decent gal, but was lazy and alwys complaining according to him.

And u are rite, they can act. Can never tell wat is a lie or truth when it comes to them. PLs consider carefully especially u do not really know her.

Yah, this is a common feedback from bros who have PRC wives. However, I don't hear PRC men complain about their wives...maybe we really pamper our women so much that they take advantage of the situaion.

[Lank]

Originally Posted by applepie99

I'm not suspecting that she's cheating behind me, so hiring a PI is of no use. PI won't be able to give me a report about her character or whether our 八字 can click. my worry is "what you see is not what you get".

I think you are a bit confused. You say she maybe 2 face and putting on an act when you are around. That is tantamount to cheating in another form, just not with the body. And you can't be sure she is not doing that too.

Hiring a PI is the best option now. Maybe expensive, but still much cheaper than just the wedding dinner if you end up regretting after.

[RealEstateGuy]

Bra you are all mixed up. If you love her then marry her. Whatever we say or advise isnt going to change what you decide. If you are looking for approval here on what to do then you are not sure if you love her. Relationships are sometimes a gamble but follow your heart.

[Apple&Orange]

You sound like u are having cold feet rather than anything else~~

[drekman]

Applepie. Dunt married a cheena girls. They only wan ur money n will cheat ur money. They lied all the time. fuck care about their story. Do u know of a sg guy who married a cheena gril. He saved her life n push her away when she was about to get knock down by a car but instaed he got knocked down and died. The first thing she wans was his house n money. This is the turth.

[Black_Hawk_Up]

Originally Posted by applepie99

Hi Bros,

I am in my late 30s and planning to get married to my PRC girlfriend next year. She's in her early 20s and working in a 5 star hotel as a GRO in Beijing. I actually first got to know her when I was a hotel guest there. Then we exchanged phone numbers, and since then, she became my regular date whenever I am in Beijing for business. It wasn't hard to bed her, happened after our 2nd date. We have been 2 years together, and lately she's hinting me to to marrry her and not carry on like this. She said her mum has been pressuring her to get married, and have kids so that her mum can help us to look after.

I don't really know her real past, I can only listen to her side of the story. She said I am her 2nd boyfriend, and the first boyfriend was actually puppy love when she was 19. She's very nice to me, and always show concern about my work and my parents. So far, the only bad habit she has is playing mahjong during her off day, which is ok to me because this would occupy her time when I'm not with her.

As we all know, PRC girls are very good actresses good liars, and plain lazy. I believe that she's only revealing her good side to me. I don't know I am making the right decision to marry her because 2 years is not enough to understand her. I dated my first girlfriend for 6 years, and we still end up seperate ways. I heard many stories that PRC girls have 2 faces. In fact I have a friend that married a PRC SYT, and she's really lazy and good for nothing, even for sex. She only likes missionary, so that she doesn't need to exercise. She doesn't do housework or cook, and complaint to his friends that he is not good enough for her, although he's earning 5 figure income. Imagine they have to get their dinner everyday in the foodcourt. I also have a friend that divorce his Singapore wife and marry a PRC girl, and later regret, after the PRC girl revealed her true colors.

So far, I've not heard of any success stories, and this is a big concern. While I love my girlfriend, I don't know if I will regret later, especially wth our age difference. I jus like to hear from bros who have PRC wives to share their views here. Many thanks.

i try to not generalise things here. like every countries in the world there is always positive and negative people. in my ex-ex workplace which have alot of highly skilled but lower-educated singaporean worker. i have the chance to speak to many with wife from PRC, thai etc.

some of my ex-colluegues who have PRC wife have introduce them to me. i find them to be good women and hard working. they take care of their family very well. of course, their wife is not SYT but they do labour for their family day and night much like my parent generation. i even know of 1 family where the wife is working while her husband refuse to work. she supported her husband and child by herself.

there is still good PRC ladies around. to be fair, they did not know their wife through KTV, pub etc. most of their wife is intro by others who know them well. some of them is village girls working in the city before they came over. at the sametime, i know of some others who is lazy too. they are good people just lazy to work.

to sum up, i try not to judge people base on where they come from. i make the same mistake years ago before i personally know friends from china. unlike the typical impression we have on them, they are very cool people. in china/thai/vn, it just like everywhere. there is good, there is bad.