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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 24-07-2022, 06:06 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by lamelame76 View Post
Speaking about this, is there such a thing as still being in love with my gf emotionally, but just sexually she’s unable to turn me on? If there is such a case, is this relationship destined to crash and burn?

Doubt I’m in this situation, but just hope to get more clarity on my feelings…
this one will definitely affect. it doesnt crash because you love less. it crashes because of unfulfilled need and individually go out and seek to fulfill that need. also sex regardless, develops attachment. not so much for men. but men also can get attached to a girl he newly met if she is powerful in bed. so these will cause the relationship to fail.
  #32  
Old 24-07-2022, 09:36 PM
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Exclamation Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post

1) Your gf circle of friends are guai kias and innocent those boring zhabors who always talk about eating at where, travel at where and drama and those boring lifestyle things with no special interest. They have never upgraded their sex skills or try to read up on sex

2) Because of number one your gf is very particular about how people or friends view her and she don't know who she can ask to discuss about sex when she received your request.
She also may be feeling ashame about becoming good in sex because she is not married yet. She don't want to be labelled by her friends when she try to discuss the topic since no girl in the group broach the topic of sex

4) Your gf does not have the sex skills. You have not opened her sealed thirst for sex. Means she has not had a sex so mindblowing that she wants to have more sex. Usually girls are good at sex because they have fucked guy who made her orgasm then the girl will start to have interest in sex.

To answer your question on no meaning to live after work right, many people guys and girls are the same like you. The work took too much focus from them to have fun after work. After work still think about work to better prepare for next day work. Really the work these days screw up life.
Totally concur on what you mentioned 1, 2, 4. Least from my experience, these women usually from the JC route. Effing can fall asleep and bored to death, including the sex. Might else well, I go to the morgue and help myself over there. Esp pt 2, their life only revolves around these things. Most cannot cook, some dont even know how to iron their own shirts!

You also forgot to mention, must accompany them go shopping. Knn, waiting rm outside waiting for hours. If they ask you how's the clothing. If you said along the lines like not nice in anyway. Knn, get offended.

Basically, as this goes on for years. One eventually becomes henpecked. In short, if a couple has nothing common in hobbies/interest to begin with. It's just a waste of time to begin with. The sex can only bind your intimacy/romance in the relationship for so long.

In fact, I can tell that many husbands/wives look so lonely but not alone. I rather be the latter. Of course, one must find some purpose to occupy themselves.

Any man reading this. If you don't want to have legitimate children, don't get married in the 1st place. Modern marriage don't really benefit men these days. Of coz, if you can find a woman who clicks with you and share same interests. That's the BEST. Just don't go rushing to sign the dotted within the 1st 2 years. You may regret later on.
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  #33  
Old 25-07-2022, 07:58 AM
itraxx2016 itraxx2016 is offline
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

Hi TS, I've faced some of the issues you have described before, and for me, it was primarily driven by the lack of sleep and physical tiredness. As some bros have suggested, try getting in some exercise - it does assist to destress and reduce insomnia. It was what worked for me and I did feel my sex drive increase. I hope this helps.
  #34  
Old 25-07-2022, 12:01 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by macrick View Post
Totally concur on what you mentioned 1, 2, 4. Least from my experience, these women usually from the JC route. Effing can fall asleep and bored to death, including the sex. Might else well, I go to the morgue and help myself over there. Esp pt 2, their life only revolves around these things. Most cannot cook, some dont even know how to iron their own shirts!

You also forgot to mention, must accompany them go shopping. Knn, waiting rm outside waiting for hours. If they ask you how's the clothing. If you said along the lines like not nice in anyway. Knn, get offended.

Basically, as this goes on for years. One eventually becomes henpecked. In short, if a couple has nothing common in hobbies/interest to begin with. It's just a waste of time to begin with. The sex can only bind your intimacy/romance in the relationship for so long.

In fact, I can tell that many husbands/wives look so lonely but not alone. I rather be the latter. Of course, one must find some purpose to occupy themselves.

Any man reading this. If you don't want to have legitimate children, don't get married in the 1st place. Modern marriage don't really benefit men these days. Of coz, if you can find a woman who clicks with you and share same interests. That's the BEST. Just don't go rushing to sign the dotted within the 1st 2 years. You may regret later on.
tat's why increasing number of us go for foreign brides
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  #35  
Old 25-07-2022, 12:04 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by itraxx2016 View Post
Hi TS, I've faced some of the issues you have described before, and for me, it was primarily driven by the lack of sleep and physical tiredness. As some bros have suggested, try getting in some exercise - it does assist to destress and reduce insomnia. It was what worked for me and I did feel my sex drive increase. I hope this helps.
insomnia sometimes is just delayed falling asleep misdiagnosed. difficulty sleeping but still can sleep.

more often then not is the internal boy temperature. so can try drinking more water throughout the day, a glass before sleep. drinking a glass before sleep also helps calm you down for sleep.
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  #36  
Old 25-07-2022, 01:37 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by pinkniprunner View Post
insomnia sometimes is just delayed falling asleep misdiagnosed. difficulty sleeping but still can sleep.

more often then not is the internal boy temperature. so can try drinking more water throughout the day, a glass before sleep. drinking a glass before sleep also helps calm you down for sleep.
i agree with the drinking water part, as for me i actually switch the blue light filter on the phone and watch stupid boring videos on youtube etc and fall asleep watching
  #37  
Old 25-07-2022, 03:40 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by pinkniprunner View Post
tat's why increasing number of us go for foreign brides
this i see more and more frequent. now have thai wife trend. feedback is they take better care of the husbands.
  #38  
Old 25-07-2022, 04:14 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

TS, want to meet up for kopi and talk more?

I'm happily married for 11 years and there are many transitions a couple makes in a relationship after marriage. Firstly, I think you are feeling quite normal in terms of your thoughts and worries etc. Second, its good you are aware there are issues with yourself such as the porn watching and desensitization with your current gf (and i assume wife to be). Thirdly, you acknowledge it all and chose to seek forum help here.

I applaud your open honesty. There is no quick fix to relationships, many small acts and efforts daily to build the relationship. Main issue to fix is better sex life with your partner. I feel for girls who are lower in sex drive, it takes building up. Foreplay is a whole day event from compliments, encouragements, teasing, hand-holding, kisses and long hugs, skin to skin contact and gentle caresses, whispers, striptease, and making her body your wonderland. Alot happens in the mind, not just physical sensation.

As some bros also suggested, try to stop masturbating/porn watching. Engage in proper romancing, and find the right buttons to push for each other. During my early years of marriage, my wife's button was simply blow drying her hair and giving her back rubs (invested in some relaxing essential oils for that). For me? I took months to encourage her to go braless outdoor and it excites me whenever she does so. The sex thereafter will be very good of course. I first started with requesting for her to remove her bra when we are outside, then choosing clothes for her to try out going braless (standby a jacket or cardigan for her to cover up), and slowly work from there. Nowadays she don't even wear a bra to work (helps that we always shop for clothes that wont show her pokies), and I still give her back rubs too. It takes time to "groom" each other sexually, its not like porn straight away look, lust, fuck.

If you love your partner, romance her and desire after her. Your mind will handle the rest after that, auto mari kita, and she will slowly but surely reciprocate.
Dont aim for ejaculation, aim for emancipation. Set each other free to explore your sexuality together.
  #39  
Old 28-07-2022, 09:19 AM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by lamelame76 View Post
Hey bro,

Thanks for replying. I understand that such a girl like her is not easy to come by, so I definitely won’t give up this rs cue of sex. It’s just Im not sure how I can make it work. You’re right, if all else fails maybe I should consult a sex doc.

And you’re exactly right on my job too, I have been feeling super stressed out by my job that even after switching jobs, I can’t get rid of my anxiety despite having a slightly better workload. Like you said, I have been in this continuous search of thrills - maybe this is why people end up streaking
I also dropped off a gf cos she cannot satisfy me. She keep finding excuses not to give, even though she stayed across the road. Still got the cheek to ask for monthly allowance plus gifts.

Fact is quite simple. If girl don't give often, whats the outcome? Guy sure one day will go outside to find. The relationship will be strained.

Its easier to just exit and let my ex go, then I go find some other girl long term. Makes no sense to tahan and still go out find. She even told me I should find a girl that won't refuse me. My thought was, if the girl give me regularly (not like every night, but few times a week), gifts and allowance also can negotiate to give.

All these nagging thoughts like no sex will come back and haunt like a spectre. Guy is still an animal afterall.... with hunter like instincts.
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  #40  
Old 28-07-2022, 03:44 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by lamelame76 View Post
Hey bro,

Thanks for replying. I understand that such a girl like her is not easy to come by, so I definitely won’t give up this rs cue of sex. It’s just Im not sure how I can make it work. You’re right, if all else fails maybe I should consult a sex doc.

And you’re exactly right on my job too, I have been feeling super stressed out by my job that even after switching jobs, I can’t get rid of my anxiety despite having a slightly better workload. Like you said, I have been in this continuous search of thrills - maybe this is why people end up streaking
i actually have the problem about all work and no sex and my gf also dont really satisfy me. i actually am feeling the problem of the relationship same as you. performance still normal. but the frequency drop alot. like once a month.
  #41  
Old 29-07-2022, 12:29 AM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by Lordofkorat View Post
i actually have the problem about all work and no sex and my gf also dont really satisfy me. i actually am feeling the problem of the relationship same as you. performance still normal. but the frequency drop alot. like once a month.
I had that feeling with my recent ex. At first, I thought I could take it, but this thing ate away at my perseverance. One day, I drank a bit and was a bit high. I wanted her. She then rejected me again (as usual). There and then, I returned all her stuff in a fit of anger.

I know myself too well. If I cannot have what I want, someday I would still "eat out". Its pointless to persist and ultimately... its inevitable.
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  #42  
Old 29-07-2022, 02:19 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by cmelater View Post
I had that feeling with my recent ex. At first, I thought I could take it, but this thing ate away at my perseverance. One day, I drank a bit and was a bit high. I wanted her. She then rejected me again (as usual). There and then, I returned all her stuff in a fit of anger.


I know myself too well. If I cannot have what I want, someday I would still "eat out". Its pointless to persist and ultimately... its inevitable.
Sounds like the problem when girls have more rights they are not obliged to please their partner. Well mostly many girls have this problem these days because the media keep showing how girls are pampered and this creates a big princess syndrome in many girls mindset
  #43  
Old 29-07-2022, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
Sounds like the problem when girls have more rights they are not obliged to please their partner. Well mostly many girls have this problem these days because the media keep showing how girls are pampered and this creates a big princess syndrome in many girls mindset
Still remember my ex would justify that her friend also agree or say so. Then I told her why not I bed her friend instead cos ideas all from her friend....

Thankfully written her off permanently after she told me she needed to think over our relationship. It's a very simple problem. She ask more then I am not getting what I want.... That is companionship. It was duty to her.
  #44  
Old 29-07-2022, 04:54 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by cmelater View Post
Still remember my ex would justify that her friend also agree or say so. Then I told her why not I bed her friend instead cos ideas all from her friend....

Thankfully written her off permanently after she told me she needed to think over our relationship. It's a very simple problem. She ask more then I am not getting what I want.... That is companionship. It was duty to her.
Your ex probably thinks that you are not respecting her when ou said why not you bed her friends since all ideas come from her friends if think from her perspective.

But then again this kind of girl mentality very troublesome to handle, like small girl never grow up everything friend friend friend must follow their friend. I also dulan
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Old 29-07-2022, 05:45 PM
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

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Originally Posted by pearlnjewel View Post
Your ex probably thinks that you are not respecting her when ou said why not you bed her friends since all ideas come from her friends if think from her perspective.

But then again this kind of girl mentality very troublesome to handle, like small girl never grow up everything friend friend friend must follow their friend. I also dulan
Its hard. When I criticised her comments from her friends, I knew very hard to go long term. Ultimately, cos she won't respect me and my beliefs and values. Being able to agree to disagree is really hard.

That day she tried to defend herself by telling me she came to conclusion herself. Its still as good as a decision from her friends. Quite sad. She will live in someone else's shadows for a long time to come. Living to the expectations of her friends' values and beliefs will define her.

I also find it hard to blame her cos their nationality is like that. The people there embrace socially accepted beliefs and values, rather than being ready to stand out for their own. Even myself, I sound totally alien, though I could converse her native language.

Quite sad at the end of the day. Its not how I want live life. I believe doing what counts, rather than what matters to others. After all, we only have this much time in this world, so why give a F to what everyone else say? Every guy/ gal have their 2 cents. Listening to all these 2 cents amount to nothing, because we still need have our beliefs in what is really us. My honest 2 cents.
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