Liking a girl whose working in pub?

[Advanced]

Hi brothers and sisters here,

This first time sharing a problem of mine, so pardon my english
I do not have much experience onto chasing girls, failed afew attempts within my 25years. And still no girlfriend before. (Maybe due to my looks? or i'm too woodblock that i don't know how to communicate with girls)

How i know her:
A friend of mine works at the pub(full time) and asked me to go down and support him. I met this girl like 3-4 months ago working in the pub as bartender/cashier.

Fast forward the story a little, my friends and his GF knows that i like the girl (She knew as well).
I took up the courage and asked for her number, and we only chat through messages/text.

Once i had a oversea trip with family, and brought her a necklace from my holiday.
She accepted the gift and wears it saying she likes it. In the next few attempt in going down the pub, i noticed that she still wears it.


Recently:
But recently weeks, after i told her that i liked her, she started to distance away. ( maybe its due to afraid of me getting the wrong idea so avoiding is the best option? )
Seems like not wanting me to go down find her when shes alone working, when my friend is off. ( told my friend not to tell me that his not working etc.)

It seems now that only when we are drinking, then we are possible to be friends or even close friends that shares even secrets.

Any advice on this kind of 1 side situation? lol

[jnudes]

She's avoiding you that means you should find a new girl. Do not waste time on her again. When you have heartache its going to take long time to recover. Quit now before it's too late.

I am inexperienced and not good looking as you too. I am in my mid thirties and I also failed to court gal before so I understand your feeling.

For me being single currently give me 100% freedom. There is nothing more I could ask for. For me if I want chase a gal I always 'go with the flow'.

[HappyOwl]

Originally Posted by Advanced

Hi brothers and sisters here,

This first time sharing a problem of mine, so pardon my english
I do not have much experience onto chasing girls, failed afew attempts within my 25years. And still no girlfriend before. (Maybe due to my looks? or i'm too woodblock that i don't know how to communicate with girls)

Bro. Advanced, since you already failed a few attempts when you advanced to win a girl's heart, why don't you continue to fail again & again & again & again & again & again & again with different girls until you found the right girl who feels you too and not just one-sided?

The answers to your uncertainties may unfold towards the path of enlightenment.

[SammyNewbie]

You should write a story about this and at least get some points from it.

Oh well.

The only reason why she's talking to you when you're drinking is because it's a bartenders job for the money.

I'm sorry I had to be this brutal. As for the necklace, it was probably a nice accessory and all so she wore it.

If you write a story on it, I will up you my two points as an apology. How does that sound?

[Advanced]

@ Bro HappyOwl, Heart pain ah.. fail and fail

@Bro SammyNewbie , you might be true, its her job as bartender. but well i was thinking this way all along instead .. ( Since there's waitress, there is no need for her to leave the counter and drink with me. )

And while drinking, she would share her personal (secrets ) with me. But likewise, when we're not drinking, it seems like total stranger.

which like i said, it seems only when we are drinking; only then we are friends?

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by Advanced

Any advice on this kind of 1 side situation? lol

Forget about girls for the moment. At your age you should concentrate on your career and your finances.

Once you have lots of $$$$$$, the girls will be falling head of heals in love with you on a regular basis.

[sexynoob]

Have some confidence when u talk seems like downer. Confidence is the way to go ask her out walk walk. See how you click be funny and confident you will het there

[Mr_don_juan]

Did you manage to get the first date with her after getting her number ?

Some conversations are best to be spoken during outings/dates, text messages are only used to fix a particular venue, date and time with her. You need to call her, i seldom reply to smses and there is no obligation for you to do so. Keep it light hearted and don't ask her out through through a faceless, emotionless medium like smses, wechat, fb. Call her and ask her out.

Go somewhere together, go sentosa, ice-skating, cycling do some activities that both of you can have fun with. No movies, no romantic dinner but something that can build up some form of thrill and excitment. The key is fun, casual, light-hearted that you can enjoy.

No gifts too, i don't understand why is it necessary to get her a necklace, even though you think it may impress her. Only birthday are an exception. She should be wanting to know more about you via dates and not over long talk in text messages. Fascincate her and let her know more bit by bit. So is very important that you keep yourself busy while arranging dates with her.

[lagonda]

Bro they could be playing you to visit the pub and spend.these scenarios are almost the same throughout a young man's early experiences.Friends involved in the night life will draw you in to patronize their pubs,bars etc.at least you did one thing right which is to share with the forum and seek counsel.you are still young bro,don't be disappointed.as for your effort,she will know where to find you if she is interested.you can easily gauge her level of interest if she is willing to meet outside the bar.whatever the outcome never forget the lessons learned from each experiences

[lagonda]

Bro epic schoolboy error.go back to the drawing board.but not to worry we have all been there.man up and look ahead.

[Tai_zi21]

Being mr nice guy dun really work out on younger gals i think!

Why not just give her the i dun care attitude? And she will be thinking are u still intetested in her？ why not make her think instead of u thinking?

[Advanced]

@ sammyboyfor - $ can't earn finish de leh.. Lol somemore keep earning money but don't have love one around.. sibei lonely =x

@ Mr_don_juan - Hmm, after hearing what you say, i notice i never actually met her out alone before .. its usually like double date where my friend and his girl would tag along for dinner / supper.

I understand that conversations are more important then text but that's usually my weak point too. My mind starts to turn blank and got no idea what to talk about. (or i might start to think too much of the re-actions to even dare to ask/talk about it.)

p.s you like very lao jiao liao in this

@ Tai_zi21 - Well that is what my friend also tell me, ask me ignore her for few days.. then try say drop by the place and bring her some snacks etc etc..

[lagonda]

Important question bro...what type of necklace did you get her? Diamond,gold or chanel?

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by Advanced

@ Tai_zi21 - Well that is what my friend also tell me, ask me ignore her for few days.. then try say drop by the place and bring her some snacks etc etc..

All in my pov only

Bring her some snack after a few days? Isn't tat going back to square one and mr nice guy again! But well as long as u r happy cheers

[lagonda]

Aiyah bro i can't help but respond to your recent post immediately.you sound like you are shy around women.is it just women in general or just this particular girl that you have a crush on?i think you need to address that issue first.whatever you intend to do,from now on ensure that it is done outside the bar.and if you are not ready,stay away until you man up.and bro pls do not buy snacks and visit her as you have already sent a strong enough message that you feel very passionate about her.