Looking for Best Retorts to Things Girls Say.

[MachX]

There's been a lot of chicken soup media feeds.
And a lot of stuff has been spewed out to girls and they got influenced pretty badly.
Got so bad and unrealistic that those chicken soup media feeds were soon labelled Poisonous chicken soup.
Even before chicken soup, expectations has been out of proportions with ones' "quality".

So, what is the shit you have heard unrealistic girls(or guys) say and what can be the best retort ?

I'll list some.

1.

Girl: Let's break up, you can get someone better.
Retort: (From Translation) If I can't even keep someone like you, how do I get somebody else better ?
Chinese Version: 连你这种货色我都留不住，怎么找更好的 ？

Translated version lacks the punch of the mandarin version, maybe Bros can rephrase it better ?

2.

Girl: I want my future husband/boyfried to have xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxx and xxxxxx
Retort? : Why would someone like that want you ?
Girl: Cause I am pretty and have a good figure.
Retort: (Looking for short and sharp retort)

3.

Girl: Spending money on me does not mean you love me, but not spending money on you means you do not love me.
Retort: I/Man must really love whores then.

4.

This is a joke I heard a long time ago, which I found very funny.

After sex.
Girl: My ex was bigger.
Retort: Yeah ? My ex was tighter.

Let's share and have some laughs.

[JimmyCNX]

Originally Posted by MachX

There's been a lot of chicken soup media feeds.
And a lot of stuff has been spewed out to girls and they got influenced pretty badly.
Got so bad and unrealistic that those chicken soup media feeds were soon labelled Poisonous chicken soup.
Even before chicken soup, expectations has been out of proportions with ones' "quality".

So, what is the shit you have heard unrealistic girls(or guys) say and what can be the best retort ?

I'll list some.

1.

Girl: Let's break up, you can get someone better.
Retort: (From Translation) If I can't even keep someone like you, how do I get somebody else better ?
Chinese Version: 连你这种货色我都留不住，怎么找更好的 ？

Translated version lacks the punch of the mandarin version, maybe Bros can rephrase it better ?

2.

Girl: I want my future husband/boyfried to have xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxx and xxxxxx
Retort? : Why would someone like that want you ?
Girl: Cause I am pretty and have a good figure.
Retort: (Looking for short and sharp retort)

3.

Girl: Spending money on me does not mean you love me, but not spending money on you means you do not love me.
Retort: I/Man must really love whores then.

4.

This is a joke I heard a long time ago, which I found very funny.

After sex.
Girl: My ex was bigger.
Retort: Yeah ? My ex was tighter.

Let's share and have some laughs.

Girl: my ex was bigger.

Me: Thats why he is ypur ex now. All you have to offer him was pussy nothing else.

[gilagila100]

Originally Posted by MachX

There's been a lot of chicken soup media feeds.
And a lot of stuff has been spewed out to girls and they got influenced pretty badly.
Got so bad and unrealistic that those chicken soup media feeds were soon labelled Poisonous chicken soup.
Even before chicken soup, expectations has been out of proportions with ones' "quality".

So, what is the shit you have heard unrealistic girls(or guys) say and what can be the best retort ?

I'll list some.

1.

Girl: Let's break up, you can get someone better.
Retort: (From Translation) If I can't even keep someone like you, how do I get somebody else better ?
Chinese Version: 连你这种货色我都留不住，怎么找更好的 ？

Translated version lacks the punch of the mandarin version, maybe Bros can rephrase it better ?

2.

Girl: I want my future husband/boyfried to have xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxx and xxxxxx
Retort? : Why would someone like that want you ?
Girl: Cause I am pretty and have a good figure.
Retort: (Looking for short and sharp retort)

3.

Girl: Spending money on me does not mean you love me, but not spending money on you means you do not love me.
Retort: I/Man must really love whores then.

4.

This is a joke I heard a long time ago, which I found very funny.

After sex.
Girl: My ex was bigger.
Retort: Yeah ? My ex was tighter.

Let's share and have some laughs, cause the past week has sucked for me.

Let me help with no. 1 & 2.

No. 1:
If I can't keep a bitch like you, what makes you think I can keep other bitches?

No. 2:
I can get prettier and sexier figure for less.

[Northern]

Originally Posted by MachX

1.

Girl: Let's break up, you can get someone better.
Retort: (From Translation) If I can't even keep someone like you, how do I get somebody else better ?
Chinese Version: 连你这种货色我都留不住，怎么找更好的 ？

You this standard I also cannot keep, how to find someone better ?

[sneakyslimy]

2.

Girl: I want my future husband/boyfried to have xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxx, xxxxxx, xxxxxx and xxxxxx
Retort? : Why would someone like that want you ?
Girl: Cause I am pretty and have a good figure.
Retort: More like pretty clueless and no brain to figure

[Offline]

I once got something for a girl and she said, you got me a crate of oranges, while all I wanted was an apple.

I ignored her, cos wanted to split anyways, due to her entitlement.
And later I also read articles where a girl felt sad, cos when she wanted 1 orange, her other half got her lots of apples instead.

After consideration, my best retort would just be : And you can go fuck yourself.

There is also the famous - If you can't accept the worst of me, then you don't deserve the best of me"

My best retort would be : You can go fuck yourself too

Best I can do

[sammyboyfor]

The best words are those that are not spoken.

If things aren't working out just move on quietly. There is no need to say a single thing.

[lipe]

Silence is Golden.

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

The best words are those that are not spoken.

If things aren't working out just move on quietly. There is no need to say a single thing.

[Marmots]

Originally Posted by Offline

There is also the famous - If you can't accept the worst of me, then you don't deserve the best of me"

This feels like a corruption of its actual meaning.
Original worst of me should be a sick girl but the guy stays by her side and take care of her until she gets better.

Now become misconstrued as you must tolerate and accept all my bad points, then you deserve my good graces.

Sad.

[sbwow]

Yeah, Sad Thread for spreading hatred and misery.

Best Retort for both gender. HAHAHA.

Guy: Girls are for fucking. Fuck You!

Girl: Right On, Fuck Yeah~

[Marmots]

My friend had the best reply to a girl saying Fuck You.

He looked at her and said very sincerely: " Promise ? "

[Hurricane88]

Ignored her and blocked her from social media contacs will be the best solution to move on.

Silence is Golden which is correct.

[ganUSDollar]

Originally Posted by Marmots

My friend had the best reply to a girl saying Fuck You.

He looked at her and said very sincerely: " Promise ? "

Then she'll say "Just joking, no need be so serious"

[sbwow]

Originally Posted by Marmots

My friend had the best reply to a girl saying Fuck You.

He looked at her and said very sincerely: " Promise ? "

He should have pull out his condom and worn it on his dick. HAHAHA.

[guyorgirl]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

The best words are those that are not spoken.

If things aren't working out just move on quietly. There is no need to say a single thing.

This.

When you don't say anything, you have the upperhand, the girl will feel absolutely stupid.

Had a quarrel with a girl over work matters last time, she typed a WA and send to me expecting a retort. I just didn't reply. Nothing she can do. What they want is a response so that they can egg on and then self-victimize over the things you retort. You'll be the devil of the relationship.

No fire without wind.