Marrying A Thai ger

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

So I'm supposed to sweep everything under the carpet even though the suspense is killing me?

Would I do well to apologise? We haven't talked since - it's our first big fight since we got to know each other 9 months ago. I feel she is really offended by my insinuation. But I just don't feel right "ignoring" these obvious suspicions.

to begin with, no doubt u've the right to know what she's doing with the credits u bought her, cos 500thb in a flash is quite impressive. bt since u choose to give, then dun bother tracing n finding where it all went. consider it a love/goodwill gift if u must - material/superficial things r just temporary, here today, spoilt/damaged/lost/gone tomorrow.

there's no right or wrong, who's the rightful 1 who should be blowing the top. u're agitated cos u wanna know y she expends credits fast, she's upset cos u're suspicious of her.... the cycle goes on.

subject to her character, perhaps it'd b appropriate to just talk things out like matured ppl. i think she'd probably take it better, as opposed to confrontation.

[Mr.romantic]

bro Charmaine i thought you are over with the drama? why still lament over her. also unless you are sponsoring her a substantial amount of money. you have no right to be "possessive"! paying her phone bills and spending money on her in BKK once every while do not count. sorry to sound harsh but if you still want to see this girl just sponsor her and bang her silly until you are sick of her and dump her. period!

wake up lah. see this video posted by bro estherc!

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Thank you for your reply, JWNY.

It's not about the money. How much is 500 baht anyway? I'm upset because 500 baht worth of credit should be able to last her 25 text messages (based on your estimate of 20 baht per sms) to me. I've received less than 10. I'm even fine with her using my credit to call other people - as long it's not to other guys and she's being honest and upfront with me about it. Right now she's refusing to even entertain the thought of answering that question.

Her exact sms to me was "You are so childish. I don't want to talk to you. Are you playing games with me?"

I want to trust her so much, but I also need to know that the trust I bestow unto her isn't a blind one. Look, I'm paying for her bloody phone bills; is it really too much to ask what exactly she's doing with my money?

Or am I just childish?

of cos in principle, there's nothing wrong in wanting to know who she's in-touch with, or spending the credits on. bt perhaps its just the technique applied that rubbed her the wrong way.

at the end of the day, if she leaves u for just a trivial lil matter.... well, 500thb to see her true colors is definately a very very cheap fee to pay.

i think JWNY had a valid point too. if she can easily accept your 500thb for phone credits, who's to say she's not getting any perks or pokes from somebody else?

besides, just by spending this lil sum of $ on her, doesnt mean u own her, nor is she obligated to give u hourly situational report. ultimately, if u wanna give, just give. if dun wanna give, then dun give.

[goodpartner]

Can try to test her sincerity with the "fly kite" method; i.e. know when to pull and let go the string. It works for my thai tiraks, maybe more so becoz of the "sponsoring" of the phone credits, etc...

Just to share a bit, when I'm with one I'll play the jealous kind but in a light-heart manner so as not to be viewed as too intrusive into their privacy. As time goes by, I'll have access to their phone openly to check the logs. If using Nokia phone, lagi better as can view 30-days of sms & phone log.

Otherwise, if you're as sneaky as me, install some 3rd-party software on their phone that can do things from logging and hiding the call logs, all the way to sending you an SMS whenever a call is made. My ultimate is to send her "callback" phone credits which is cheaper to use (excuse) but where I can logon to a user-area online to view all the phone calls, duration, time, etc...

Of coz, all these are done only at the stage of the r/s where I'm in doubts. The phone is likely the BEST tell-tale thing if there's any funny things going on behind. Not that I'm a control freak or having no trust - hey, it's better to invest in such effort than to regret when it's too late - that's my own excuse.

As for the "fly kite" method, once I discover something amiss, I'll initiate a break-off - she'll loose all those "sponsorship" and panic (or not). This will tell how big a lost you're to her; depending on how much milk she cry over.

Basically, if she can live without me, I'll cut-lost and let her go. Then go to next one. Otherwise if she go the length to sustain the r/s, then here's where I'll treat her like... ahem... "sheep" and maintain a MCP attitude.

Oh ya, forgot to mention that I'll be pretty direct to them regarding treating me as a carrot; I'll say that if she has other sponsors, just tell me she has and I'll know where I stand. If she say dun have, and I'm the only one she luv, then I'll test her as above.

YMMV though

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by FL Lover

Anyway you are not wrong to ask. Better ask now than suffer later when she told u to fxxk off after she is tired of u... On the other hand, look on the bright side. If she choose not to be with you, then it is her lose. You on the other hand can look for someone who really love you.

Why should u worry days and nights for someone who cheated on you yet pretending to love you for the sake of $$?

Love is not meant to be that way leh...

im not sure whether u are talking about asking the girl whether how she use the sms or whether she really love the person or whether where she go blah blah.

i like to said something on this. if the grill really wanna cheat the guy. even the guy ask so many question. example whether she alone in the room, how come hp off, why no answer?, who is the guy on the background.

She sure have an answer to all this. if is true to u n really not cheating us then will the person trust what she said????

i dont think there is anything to ask about. unless u are staying with her perm or get her over to be with u.

even perm together we guys also can go fark cb to eat dont talk about staying far apart. if there is no trust then dont start no point cos in the end not the girl suffer is the we that suffer if we want to choose this path....

long distance relationship is already not ez if we want to have doubt here n there then no point. if very sure she go run house then maybe the person should do a spot check or try to catch her red handed else mai think so much

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

to begin with, no doubt u've the right to know what she's doing with the credits u bought her, cos 500thb in a flash is quite impressive. bt since u choose to give, then dun bother tracing n finding where it all went. consider it a love/goodwill gift if u must - material/superficial things r just temporary, here today, spoilt/damaged/lost/gone tomorrow.

pple keep forgeting this. If the "Person" choose to "Clap" the hand with the girls then dont make so much noise when things turn out to be bad.

Why? cos the person choose to do it and not her. who in the world will reject an offer. if the person offer help to the girl. the girls will sure not mind if he wants to do it.

even feeding the girl may not get our answer also. we can demand it, if the girls give the answer will the person willing to accept her answer or just think she is giving a lame excuse.... or she choose to exit then that is the end will the person able to accept it or go crazy and wants to get back to them.

well it all up to the person n dont forget if wants to get back to this girls think u can do bad things to her. pls dont forget this is "Thailand" u are a Alien there... always remember that.

[Charmaine]

Thanks for all your advice, people. I'm not sick in the head and totally rational. Mr Romantic, I'm still sane, don't worry! I just find Thai girls fascinating to decipher, and everyone here is doing a fantastic job. I've gone through my fair share of sexual tension and politics with local Singaporean women, but this is mild by comparison. Thai girls are something else!

Well, I snapped. I called her to apologise. Surprisingly she was prefectly ok with it. She just muttered "That's ok.. thank you for caring. I'll talk to you soon..". Considering just two days ago we weren't supposed to be talking forever, this is a strange turn of events. Saying Thai relationships are volatile by nature is a severe understatement!

Maybe I like her more than she likes me, but now I know she was never really in the same place as me. I'm ok with that now (I would have been devastated a couple of months ago). In local culture she would have easily been labelled as a big-time flirt or at worst "sending him all the wrong signals; if you don't like him why still treat him so well?" but now I know it's just a Thai thing. The earlier you conquer the signals, the more control you have over the game!

[rapebill]

my wife told me once that if I have something to tell her and which will cause her to have a bad feeling or to start a fight, might as well I don't say. As for me, I always tell her to tell me anything and whatever that she is not happy with me.

contradicting styles but it is holding the peace for now ...

[Charmaine]

I guess the learning point here is that

Thais just DO NOT LIKE CONFRONTATION!

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

I guess the learning point here is that

Thais just DO NOT LIKE CONFRONTATION!

i just can said that nobody like to be confront not just only thais.

Thai are pretty stuboon pple. most of them will refuse to admit their mistake or even listen.

especailly the girls(regarless decent or non) maybe bcos they are very independent they always make their own decision be it right or wrong they still think they are right.

like me n my dear. sometime i dont like the way she do things n sometime i see she is doing the wrong way. if i try to correct them they will nag nag nag said we trying to teach them how to do. they will tell u, i know what im doing.

u know what i do. sometime i will become very piss n scold her but i learn to move on. dont care just let her do what she want, the next thing u know they run back to u and ask why like that ah. how come like that ah.

then i will ask her u want to ask me how solve the problem ah. she keep quiet so i know she wanna listen liao lor and i help her solve it. of course is not just about money is about other stuff.

i still remember when i was back home. we have a shop selling food for student and internet gaming. her relative n friends keep coming to our shop eat free la, drink free la, play internet free la.

I was damn bloody boil up n piss off. i tell her she said what i want her to do. cannot even tell them stop doing that, so i told her up to u to decide. for anybody doing business if they comes once awhile i dont mind treating them but everyday come i will sure ask them to pay.

in the end after 1 mth she come nagging to me that earn less bcos of this. i tell her now u know what i mean. do until like fark n earn less then do for fark. so she decide to banned her bros friend from coming to play internet and dont allow them to keep drink n eat free.

[pussyman72]

also another thing is thai girls are bad in managing their money. if they have extra they borrow friend la, borrow to relative la, anyhow spend but still able to control in someway.


if the money come from darling lol i tell u. they dont even look at the money n spend it n later oops no more liao. of course there is some girls who really can save n dont really spend alot.

[vmtech]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

also another thing is thai girls are bad in managing their money. if they have extra they borrow friend la, borrow to relative la, anyhow spend but still able to control in someway.


if the money come from darling lol i tell u. they dont even look at the money n spend it n later oops no more liao. of course there is some girls who really can save n dont really spend alot.

no leh, not all thai girls leh bro haha, my girl's managing my monies and doing a damn good job wor. but again, mine's tai-yai, can consider thai's ancestors? hahaha

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Thanks for all your advice, people. I'm not sick in the head and totally rational.
:
Well, I snapped. I called her to apologise.
:
Maybe I like her more than she likes me, but now I know she was never really in the same place as me.
:
The earlier you conquer the signals, the more control you have over the game!

Bro, no worries we gain most of our wisdom from experiences (doing) than learning from others - although it's usually better the other way round. But that's what make life interesting, juz gotta do it.

If she's your first thai gf, maybe can play the number game. i.e. take a break from her being your "only one" and get to know a few more. Not only will you learn the thai percularities faster but who knows, you may find someone else much better and where she likes you more...

Having tried both type of thai girls; one whom I like more than she likes me, vs one who likes me more than I like her. The later is a much easier long distance r/s to handle, not forgeting the supposedly more submissive nature of thai ger... it really makes a big difference.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by vmtech

no leh, not all thai girls leh bro haha, my girl's managing my monies and doing a damn good job wor. but again, mine's tai-yai, can consider thai's ancestors? hahaha

High 5 man!

Maybe tai-yai is different from pure thai who grow up in the cities huh?

My tai-yai gf was not wise with money initially, but becum a super saver after some lectures from me. Well, at least more teachable due to their more humble background?

Bro, u can start sharing and discuss more about tai-yai? I like to learn more about this er... dialect group(?) of gers too, which imho is better than all the thai GFs I've known. But so far I oni know one tai-yai

I think will benefit other bros here too.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

pple keep forgeting this. If the "Person" choose to "Clap" the hand with the girls then dont make so much noise when.........

i guess its probably necessary for some reminders once in awhile, cos ppl tend to immerse n lose their bearings.

guess u wouldnt agree with me more on the notion of; if wanna give, give freely n without conditions. if there's apprehension n reservations, then its best to save the headache after giving.

many a times, ppl tend to 4get, n they expect returns. n get pissed off, when the returns dun meet their expectations.