Marrying A Thai ger

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Thanks for all your advice, people. I'm not sick in the head and totally rational. Mr Romantic, I'm still sane, don't worry! I just find Thai girls fascinating to decipher, and everyone here is doing a fantastic job. I've gone through my fair share of sexual tension and politics with local Singaporean women, but this is mild by comparison. Thai girls are something else!

Well, I snapped. I called her to apologise. Surprisingly she was prefectly ok with it. She just muttered "That's ok.. thank you for caring. I'll talk to you soon..". Considering just two days ago we weren't supposed to be talking forever, this is a strange turn of events. Saying Thai relationships are volatile by nature is a severe understatement!

Maybe I like her more than she likes me, but now I know she was never really in the same place as me. I'm ok with that now (I would have been devastated a couple of months ago). In local culture she would have easily been labelled as a big-time flirt or at worst "sending him all the wrong signals; if you don't like him why still treat him so well?" but now I know it's just a Thai thing. The earlier you conquer the signals, the more control you have over the game!

bro, put it in simple context, human nature/character isnt really kindergarten stuff. even a doctorate in social science/anthropology dun guarantee success in any relationship.... on the contrary, might just blend n stir the mind into pulp - for thinking too much, reading to much into the thought.

as far as relationships apply, just be yourself, go with the flow. if things work out well, good. if it doesnt, no harm done... pick yourself up, dust the dirt off, carry on from where u left off. its all part n parcel of life's long journey. ultimately adopt a magnanimous n gracious attitude towards the process, n u'd stand to gain more.

the root of the problem, of how many tend to flip when relationship fails, is most probably bcos many sg guys believe in indulging, flooding/ showering the gf with truck loads of love gifts. sometimes to the extremes where its redundant/excessive.

relationships arent always built on sex and/or extravagance & romance on daily basis. at least from my observations, nt all thai gals r that materialistic. there's a wholesome lot of them that r actually pragmatic n less superficial.

if there's anything u should be investing; consider investing time n effort to understand the gal, instead of having your wallet do the talking.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

I guess the learning point here is that

Thais just DO NOT LIKE CONFRONTATION!

nt that they dun like confrontation, its just that it needs to be executed more tactfully. maybe its our lifestyle that makes us go hard, n sometimes can be deemed quite harsh by their standards..

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

also another thing is thai girls are bad in managing their money. if they have extra they borrow friend la, borrow to relative la, anyhow spend but still able to control in someway.

if the money come from darling lol i tell u. they dont even look at the money n spend it n later oops no more liao. of course there is some girls who really can save n dont really spend alot.

sometimes really depend on the situation n background. there r some that come from well to do families n they spend $ like waterfall, while on the contrary, there'd be some that come from poor upbringing n r very prudent n careful on the things they spend on.

financial planning/mgt sometimes also involve the greater realm, where relatives come into the pic. their culture is rather similiar to our society - back in the kampong days. where extended families tend to share burdens for 1 another, n the family units r tightly bound.

of cos, nt that our societal standards have degraded much, bt perhaps ppl start learning to be less dependant.

[Cyberspace Nerd]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

i

guess u wouldnt agree with me more on the notion of; if wanna give, give freely n without conditions. if there's apprehension n reservations, then its best to save the headache after giving.

many a times, ppl tend to 4get, n they expect returns. n get pissed off, when the returns dun meet their expectations.

dun talk cock lah...give and dun expect any returns....

last time u gave your tirak u dare to say you dont expect any returns? oh I forgot, you gave your tirak a crappy 2nd mobile phone, no returns also nevermind right? you are just a typical ngeow chee ngeow lan...like some singaporean giving to charity....give all the cannot use or crappy stuff that even the charity reject.....

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by vmtech

no leh, not all thai girls leh bro haha, my girl's managing my monies and doing a damn good job wor. but again, mine's tai-yai, can consider thai's ancestors? hahaha

ancestor or no ancestor no makes diff in the modern world lei. lol it all depend on the girl ma. lol that is why i said "there is some girls who really can save n dont really spend alot" ma. know sure u come to this lol.

i waiting for u to post hehehe so i can ask when can we meet na i miss u mak mak na lol i tell ur wife we gay friends lei else u intro me more ger ger SYT can bo :P

xilver should be back in 2 weeks hehehe so we have time to kopi later he come back liao i no time pei u liao lei

[yinyang]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

...Saying Thai relationships are volatile by nature is a severe understatement!...earlier you conquer the signals, the more control you have over the game!

Can't help noting your interest in thai threads of late. Good to hear you are past bht500 call card outburst.

Your observations on diff makeup of tgs are not wrong. Long distance r/s comes with anxieties, doubting thomas in us and insecurities. Not the least helped by negative bits we hear and read about here and elsewhere.

No gems of wisdom from me, as I've had my own share of fights with my ldtr (non-wl) over the years. Mine's on different keel, more akin to a thai gf minus plans to get hitched -as some bros who know me, more for my holistic R&R forays to krung thep. I've done splitsville 2X, but concede there's some lingering affection between us. I've even gone to bkk to enjoy sights and sounds with the boys without her even knowing hehehe. Like I said before, mismatched expectations (mutually) can be our undoing. Communication's maybe the key, but this cliched word has different meaning for thais and us. Like you and some bros here say -we are relatively more open than you can expect them to be.

Originally Posted by pussyman72

...if the grill really wanna cheat the guy. even the guy ask so many question. ...she sure have an answer to all this. if there is no trust then dont start no point cos in the end not the girl suffer is the we that suffer ..
long distance relationship is already not ez if we want to have doubt here n there then no point. if very sure she go run house then maybe the person should do a spot check or try to catch her red handed else mai think so much

Yo, even they sneak up on you.. there are somethings we cannot control (by remote).

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Yo, even they sneak up on you.. there are somethings we cannot control (by remote).

hehehe waiting for u to reply on this lol yup agree hehehehehe botton line is dont ask too much if the person cannot handle this kind of relationship.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by Norikasan55

Yes depend on the girl, like mine she work in the bank so very calculative at times. I don't know if this is good or bad

hehehe finally u back in this thread. i miss u mak mak na. ^^ calculative good ma. then help u manage all ur money

[sexhorny]

bros is it true that you can date a lot of thai girls at the same time and keep them as mistress? my friend is doing that. He told me he have 3 mistresses and they know each other. He dont want to marry cos he dun want to marry one. the mistress know each other. They are all living under one roof in Thailand and they often engage in threesome and his mistresses does not mind and perform lesbian acts for him. DAMN SHOIK. the benefit of living under one roof is so that his mistress wont cheated on him. he is 40 years old and mistress age 20 25 28. how i wish i could do this. is it better to marry one of do this? i not sure but if i have the choice i will kept 4 women i loved as mistress.

[Charmaine]

Originally Posted by yinyang

Can't help noting your interest in thai threads of late.

That's about the only reason why I'm here, Yingyang. I love the way Thai relationship veterans are able to advise and council so wholeheartedly, and you know you can trust all of them because they've been through all of it before, and then some.

Well, just to update everyone (for those even remotely interested in my pathetic half-relationship), she called me today (in the middle of an important meeting too, damn - I had to excuse myself on the pretext of going to the washroom too because just seeing her name on my mobile phone made my heart miss a beat) and told me that she's over being angry. She just woke up when I texted her that fateful message and was obviously irritated with my "early-morning" assumptions - that's why she blew her top. I didn't help matters by demanding that she give me an explanation. She assured me that she never had another man (to be taken with a pinch of salt) and also told me that her MLM business is now doing pretty well and she is working very hard to quit her job, even trying to get her mamasans involved in her downline (also to be taken with a pinch of salt). I apologised over the phone and she accepted. We ended the phonecall on amicable terms.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Cyberspace Nerd

dun talk cock lah...give and dun expect any returns....

last time u gave your tirak u dare to say you dont expect any returns? oh I forgot, you gave your tirak a crappy 2nd mobile phone, no returns also nevermind right? you are just a typical ngeow chee ngeow lan...like some singaporean giving to charity....give all the cannot use or crappy stuff that even the charity reject.....

LOL~!!!! give top of the range phone, she also wouldnt know how to optimize the usage. besides, even if its a 2nd hand... she appreciate can liao. she never make noise, so y should u??

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

.......I love the way Thai relationship veterans are able to advise and council so wholeheartedly, and you know you can trust all of them because they've been through all of it before, and then some.

there're plenty more veterans around who're maintaining their radio silence. bt i think u've to be reminded that amidst the myriads n varied spectrums of insights shared, discernment still falls upon your own shoulders. nobody can predict n dictate how u journey in the LDTR. so i suppose in any case, u should just brace yourself for rough seas...

Originally Posted by Charmaine

......she called me today (in the middle of an important meeting too, damn - I had to excuse myself on the pretext of going to the washroom too because just seeing her name on my mobile phone made my heart miss a beat) and told me that she's over being angry. ........... I apologised over the phone and she accepted. We ended the phonecall on amicable terms.

fuse tripping over trivial matters in retrospect can b quite amusing. to avoid miscommunications/ misunderstandings unnecessary... it helps if u familiarize yourself with the [^]language to some extent. nt to mention, communication using same tongue value adds as well - more intimate details n matters can be thrashed out, cos she might find ease in expressing her thoughts better.

[^] meaning to be able to hold a genuine sensible intelligent conversation, n not just mere "eat already?", "wake up already?". cos in due time, it'd just be pure irritation/nuisance - very much like what pranksters do.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

LOL~!!!! give top of the range phone, she also wouldnt know how to optimize the usage. besides, even if its a 2nd hand... she appreciate can liao. she never make noise, so y should u??

hehehe be it 1st hand 2nd hand or even 3rd hand. they love to lose things. IC, HP, wallet, money.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by sexhorny

bros is it true that you can date a lot of thai girls at the same time and keep them as mistress? my friend is doing that. He told me he have 3 mistresses and they know each other. He dont want to marry cos he dun want to marry one. the mistress know each other. They are all living under one roof in Thailand and they often engage in threesome and his mistresses does not mind and perform lesbian acts for him. DAMN SHOIK. the benefit of living under one roof is so that his mistress wont cheated on him. he is 40 years old and mistress age 20 25 28. how i wish i could do this. is it better to marry one of do this? i not sure but if i have the choice i will kept 4 women i loved as mistress.

aye ur bro rich man ah. he can affort 3 girls and get to fark each other i really salute ur bro lei. he so rich till he can affort to have 3 mistress.

the term mistress = feed woman with $$$. not said i doubt ur bro lei. if he really feeding 3 mistress under one roof or what. 1 mistress min 20k baht lar = 60k baht for 3 woman. min 3k liao lei. unless u telling me he one month earn 10k above.

dont tell me free fark hor nothing in the world is free fark even go disco, pub go on ONS also pay $$$ like drinks n hotels dont said this are not it still paying in some way....

[sexhorny]

he is rich and he blow keeping them as mistress cos he can do it raw with them