Marrying A Thai ger

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

avg $$$ to give her if about 10k a mth if stay in a villiage infact it already alot. usual family staying in villiage about 4 to 5k is good enough to feed the whole family.

as for sinsoot it all up to the family n her. i know of bros who's wife family dont take any sinsoot and married to sgp.

I have heard of cases, where sinsot got "refunded" , but this was for normal family where gal was from non wl backrgound. Very rarely heard cos afterall family want face.

I also heard, of case where gal and family demanded 800K sinsot and 50K living money per month. This was of course demanded by an Ex-G club gal

[Alkano]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Yes yes, absolutely agree with this comment. When neither party is listening, talking any louder isn't going to get your point across. Moreover, when the language barrier exists.

But if the matter is not re-visited, it has to be at least mutually agreed. I sometimes feel that if either side felt that it was not satisfactorily resolved, it may lead to more miss-comm in the future.

Is there a "cooling off" period?
Currently my gf and me are kinda having a tiff, she is not replying any of my sms.
Called her last week but seem like she don't really want to talk....
Keep telling her if anything, don't keep it to heart...share with me...
Always hitting a wall on this topic.
Any ideas on how i can get her to reply to me or break the ice?

[Si Geena]

The ball's in her court. It'll be very hard to get it back till she makes her next move. You've already made yourself heard.

So yes, wait out and see. Unless you know where she works and stay, and you can head over and see her.

Sometimes people are very stubborn and hard on the phone, but once meet only, hearts melt and tears flow.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by theUnforgotten

I have heard of cases, where sinsot got "refunded" , but this was for normal family where gal was from non wl backrgound. Very rarely heard cos afterall family want face.

I also heard, of case where gal and family demanded 800K sinsot and 50K living money per month. This was of course demanded by an Ex-G club gal

Im no expert on that cos i havent do mine yet :P once i attended a chinese thai wedding outside of bkk with some of my friend from bkk. the bridegroom give sinsoot about 4M baht. he dont have that kind of money what he do he go borrow. how he get it i dont know. anyway after the wedding the bride pass back the money to him to pay back the money he borrow.

some of my thai friend told me that the sinsoot is for show only. after the wedding the money will pass back to the girl. unless the parents keeps it then LL....

normally is either the parents take or the parents give it to their daughter.

be it WL or non WL still depends on the parents.. i know a few WL who marry to sgp did not even get a single cents from their husband.

[Si Geena]

Just to shed some more light.

I had a discussion with my sweetheart about breaking up before. She mentioned that in her previous break-ups, she would not pick up the phone or reply msgs from the guy. As in absolute stonewall. I agreed that this was the best way if things have come to a head and there's no point in going further.

So recently, she suddenly stonewalled. No replies to phone calls, no replies to sms. After 2 days, she replied me and we met. Talked a bit. She was just terrified about having a long distance relationship. And I was terrified during that 2 days when she stonewalled.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by Alkano

Is there a "cooling off" period?
Currently my gf and me are kinda having a tiff, she is not replying any of my sms.
Called her last week but seem like she don't really want to talk....
Keep telling her if anything, don't keep it to heart...share with me...
Always hitting a wall on this topic.
Any ideas on how i can get her to reply to me or break the ice?

bro Alkano. i believe u posted this last week or 2. u still having problem contacting her or she not answering u. if so u should by now know what to do.

u wanna know what is the cooling period? there cooling period date. base on what i know on some girls i been with or even for a normal friend or person. even angry after few days, everything should have cool off and willing to talk.

unless u telling me there is bad blood till cannot talk then there is nothing to talk anymore cos he or she does not want to get involve with u anymore....

so it all up to u now.

[Charmaine]

Originally Posted by Alkano

Is there a "cooling off" period?
Currently my gf and me are kinda having a tiff, she is not replying any of my sms.
Called her last week but seem like she don't really want to talk....
Keep telling her if anything, don't keep it to heart...share with me...
Always hitting a wall on this topic.
Any ideas on how i can get her to reply to me or break the ice?

Hi,

Have you apologised? Maybe you should.

That "keeping things to heart" you can't change - they're going to do it. I've learnt not to confront. If they want to tell you, they will. No point forcing them into a corner.

As what Si Geena has already mentioned, if she sees you again it'll probably all be ok again. But you have to convince her that you're serious about making it work and that you're sorry.

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Just to shed some more light.

I had a discussion with my sweetheart about breaking up before. She mentioned that in her previous break-ups, she would not pick up the phone or reply msgs from the guy. As in absolute stonewall. I agreed that this was the best way if things have come to a head and there's no point in going further.

very frankly what she said is true. given to anyone regarless is it a thai or a local it all the same but for thai if they said break up mean breakup no need to talk or call. it the "End"

[Charmaine]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

very frankly what she said is true. given to anyone regarless is it a thai or a local it all the same but for thai if they said break up mean breakup no need to talk or call. it the "End"

Those cold blooded animals.. doesn't a relationship mean anything to them at all?

[pussyman72]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Hi,

Have you apologised? Maybe you should.

That "keeping things to heart" you can't change - they're going to do it. I've learnt not to confront. If they want to tell you, they will. No point forcing them into a corner.

thais dont like to talk alot if they wanna tell u they tell. if they dont no matter how u force them. they wont do it means they wont do it....

they only talk about good things the bad things they keep to themself n solve themself or solve within her close friend.. even bf they also wont said....

anyway sinthai relationship is not as ez, let alone language,long distance relationship

[Alkano]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Just to shed some more light.

I had a discussion with my sweetheart about breaking up before. She mentioned that in her previous break-ups, she would not pick up the phone or reply msgs from the guy. As in absolute stonewall. I agreed that this was the best way if things have come to a head and there's no point in going further.

So recently, she suddenly stonewalled. No replies to phone calls, no replies to sms. After 2 days, she replied me and we met. Talked a bit. She was just terrified about having a long distance relationship. And I was terrified during that 2 days when she stonewalled.

I agree that long distance relationship is hard to manage and maintain.
I am just lost now in what to do coz she absolutely "freeze" me out..
Is there anything i can say in my sms to her?
I can't leave Singapore and go to find her coz i am tied up with work over here.
I know she is angry with something but i think she just don't want to say.
Kinda shaky at the moment.....
Hope there is some suggestions....

[twinseeker]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

aye i also kanna purpple heart lei somemore collect 2 x medal liao lei hehehehe not joking na... really

most important is that he wakeup the rest is up to him to pickup all the things he lose and stand again.

also dont try to fall into the hole again. it just very simple i seen n know some actually wanna kill themself after they lose everything bcos of a girl.

I believe such things happen to men of all ages, even season old guards in the league can also fall victim. Just have to keep eyes wide open to see properly, before any foolish commitments. Easier said than done I think.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

aye i also kanna purpple heart lei somemore collect 2 x medal liao lei hehehehe not joking na... really

most important is that he wakeup the rest is up to him to pickup all the things he lose and stand again.

also dont try to fall into the hole again. it just very simple i seen n know some actually wanna kill themself after they lose everything bcos of a girl.

wakao bro, purple heart nt any tom dick harry can easily achieve leh. good thing u're composed n managed to piece things together n brave on.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by pussyman72

jai yen or not i dont know most of us will have a problem sometimes when involve in long distance relationship.

especially when there is a heated arguement. especially over the phone it very very hard to understand each other plus language barrier.

i learn something is that if the aurgement is going to be very bad. it is best for both to back off and tell each other to cool down for few hrs n talk again. just leave each other alone for a few hrs or 1 day then if feel like talking again then start to talk about it else forget it. no point quarrle over the phone.

imho, squabbles among couples r necessary, n its all part n parcel of the journey. if everyday was sweet as honey, something is definately amiss. language barrier is definately 1 of the contributing factor, cos there's already some handicap in transposing thoughts & opinions. n when the wrong choice of words come to play, more misunderstandings build up.

for international/inter-racial relationships, there's also added complications if cultures n beliefs differ from 1 another. values/ mentality is also another problem that ppl encounter. though i prefer to see things in better light, cos opportune arises in moments of distress.

in any dispute, the build up 'calm b4 the storm' can b devastating, the world might come crashing down during n shortly after the storm. bt once the epic is over, the serenity n peace is beyond description.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Had a chance to chit-chat on some random topics I've picked up from this thread with my tai-yai GF, who now plans to move to maesai for good.

On the topic of giving sinsoot (spell?) she says it's really only for the "rich" in thailand to practise; her mom wouldn't care as long as she's happy with the man she like, also maybe her dad passed away oredi....

as for sinsort(dowry), its really a very subjective matter, n varies from 1 family to another, despite from the same village or village cluster. as i understand, ppl r a lil more pragmatic these days, n knowing well that if the sinsort is going to form a stumbling block for the loving couples, the folks would very much rather do away with it. besides, for the daughter to be married to a man who loves her, is consolation for the folks that they've 1 less child to worry for. (according to some, their perspective of retirement = no need to feed the kids + promotion to become grandparents)

for some, the sinsort is customary, n somewhat SOP so to dramatize the episode, so others around them can rejoice that the daughter is married to a financially stable/sound man.

bt for the benefit of those who're in unfamiliar territory, sinsort doesnt end there. they too have the belief of exchange of blessings. the bride's side may have received some form of monetary token, bt it is also a practice for the bride's family to return the favor in form of gift/assets - so to bless the newly weds. either way, the newly weds can choose to manage the assets received, or to liquidate it at their own discretion. (bt for some families, they cut the chase, n return the cash dowry in a new envelope)

Originally Posted by goodpartner

.....BTW, whether it's paid companionship or sponsorship, she is not getting a lot from me... hint: I mentioned earlier that a min of 20K/mth sounds too much for me oredi (Ya, fuking stingy me ). In her mind I'm a poor guy always harping on how to use up my money.

u'd b surprised, some gals actually prefer the truth than a whole sheet of rich man lies. from dressing to behaviour to gestures, they can gauge/estimate how much u profess is true.

generally they may nt all be the same, n they might nt all have the same agendas when picking partner/spouse. bt as i've observed, they know when 1 is sincere, n when 1 is wasting her time.