On the rocks

[sammyboyfor]

Shaken not stirred.

[wa81]

If things can be that simple as black and white. Its the long term effect to my daughter if divorced. That guy, since he knows, I dont believe he will be pricked by his conscious regardless what happens. My wife? Woman are hard to fathom.... thats all I can say...

[escaflower]

Originally Posted by wa81

If things can be that simple as black and white. Its the long term effect to my daughter if divorced. That guy, since he knows, I dont believe he will be pricked by his conscious regardless what happens. My wife? Woman are hard to fathom.... thats all I can say...

Well, if u had nv confront the guy... he won't feel any conscious one... sometime things must be confronted then that guy or ur wife will feel it and give serious thought. .

Probably suggest u ask ur wife and the guy to come and talk.. bring the child alone to show the guy what he is doing is breaking up a family.

[maxsee]

I think best thing is hire a PI to gather evidence while at the same time sit down and have a good talk with her...no point holding on to someone who has no love for u...end of the day...even if Yolo is not in the picture....some other guy will still comes along...All in all it takes two hands to clap...If your wife is not retracting her own hand and willing to work on the family...things will happens again....

End of the day...u have to find the root of the problem and see if it can be solved...

[owl888]

if your wife is going to save the marriage, think she's got to let go and first step is resign from her job. R u ready to be the sole bread winner

[KaniNababe]

I m surprise that u can tolerate this. Go get a PI like somebody suggested. Go find out more abt this guy.
As the husband you have every rights to know , don't suffer in silence.
Maybe your wife felt neglected but this should never be the reason for her to indulge in an affair. She needs to bear the consequences for hurting u and UR daughter. U need to collect as much proof as possible to protect urself and UR child.

Gd luck.

[Summerhillt]

Waaa. This is a very heart wrenching situation Bro !!

I read already my '' bak sai '' almost wanna flow down.. It sure is very very pain to know that your own wife is trying to '' di di siao siao '' outside. But no matter what you do , do not divorce. I know that it is really fucked up that you are slogging your guts outside and back home your wife is doing all these shit.

Imagine you divorce. You must pay alimony ( is this what they call it ? ) every fucking month. The money you give her , she will spend with that lan jiao lang together. The lan jiao lang sure laugh until his balls drop ... potong jalan people wife than still got money spend.

Your daughter is still very young.. she deserves a normal family to grow up. Not a broken kind. You know lah.. kids nowadays very sensitive to their environment de.

Do not confront your wife colleague.. what is the use? He know she marry liao still call her out solo movie date all these '' wu eh bo eh '' means he is the ultimate lan jiao lang already. You beat him up ... later your wife condem you .. her other colleagues at work will also speak ill of her..

I suggest you talk to her.. if her heart is not with you. So be it, do everything else for your daughter.. hope when she grows up she will understand.

But bro, dont do anything foolish... talk to some good friends.. confide in them. Go out for a few drinks to let loose. Its really hard to tank all these.

I've read your post.. she readily had sex with you after 3 years after you so called '' caught red handed '' her after the movies. Is she feeling guilty? Trying to make it up?

Even if till the end reallly damn bo pian already.. think of the day you proposed to her.. why she made you feel that shes the one to be the mother of your kids.. sigh...

TAKE CARE MY BRUDDER

[wa81]

Getting a PI to check on the guy. Worth it?
To divorce, The burden will be too much for my daughter and everyone around us to bear...
I confronted her again and what hurt me most is that she was indecisive of who to chose. I guess that, itself already proved alot.

In the end, I chose status que, for my gal... since she cant make a decision. Well, to rather chose to go separate way and hurting my gal in the process, it is a irreversible damage that will be done. Since her first priority is also our gal, I believe this is the minimal damage option, as the only person to be hurt, I guess its myself...

I asked myself constantly, thought thru alot, and I still believe I still love her enough... and if she is happy this way, I will follow her will and who knows what will happen in the future. Just that, I will be just a father to her daughter, a friend (I hope this is a baseline)...

Time to change my focus to my gal and my work and myself... At least this can bring a closure to this chapter of my life for now...

Thks for all the encouragements and advices bros..

[Beachsea]

Hi Bro ,

Really sad to read what you are facing here.
We can only give you suggestions and opinions as we can never really understand how you feel and how is it like.

But for the sake of your daughter's future , i think you might need PI first. The initial lay work needs to be done. You never know when your wife might switch her words, especially when she already betrayed the family, betrayed you and betrayed the marriage. No more trust i guess. As you said for the sake of your daughter you need to maintain and improve your work and financial. But play safe from now on ya, be prepared for all the shit she might throw at you. Just in case.

Whatever your decision its up to you, i wish you the best. Its hard to even accept even she is back and remorseful, this is a scar and such things will occur again once it happened.

[maxsee]

If you divorce without being able to prove adultery or there is 3rd party....the amount of alimony u end up paying will be HUGE.....but then again there is the problem of proving adultery which is kind of hard 2....so good luck.....

End of the day, those who get married are all at the mercy of the one sided woman charter....

PS : U definitely need a PI...nothing to do with worth it or not...it will probably cost a tidy sum of money....but will helps during the court case for divorce....

[Intltuk]

TS, Sounds like u're giving up?? If this don't get resolve, the animosity may get worse and tat will impact on ur child. Remember, when parents fight...the kid is the loser. Sometimes, divorce may be the best way out as both parties can put their past behind them and move forward....and give the kid the love she deserves. Anyway, I'm not advocating divorce; since both of u have discussed and could not reconcile, think u need professional help, eg marriage counsellor as a 1st step.

[Siangirl]

No use in hiring a PI if the ending you hope for is not a divorce. Ask yourself truthfully what do you want now? Her to be back and cut off all ties with him? Or you can go without her but still remain in the marriage for the sake of your child as mentioned.

[Stewardess]

Once there is a 3rd party involved, it is better to let go than to hold on.

On a side note, gather the facts and pray for the best. Remember, she has Women's Charter on her side.

Good luck.

[topcook1]

Guess there is no love anymore. Is your responsibility only. If I am you I will call it off and lead a new life. Woman once they dont love u...is gone...

[sensuous]

Got try to be romantic and sweet to ur wife? Is it that she doesn't even seem interested in it?

If she doesn't even seem touched or like happy when you try to "revive" the love then I think it's a good sign she's really gone...