On the rocks

[wa81]

For a start, I am no angel myself and I dont expect my wife(Angie) to be one (although it will be terrific if she is...). And this is more a aunt agony type of story, not a sexual one.

This story (actually happening to me...) should start from my firstborn, a beautiful gal who is 4yrs old now. Since her birth, my wife and I had a break from sex... 3 yrs in total. Before that, I guess it can be said to be a healthy sex life. In between, guess the toil of looking after my gal really kicks in and deteriorate our relationship as we showered our care and concern on our gal.

Then it happened, a new guy(Yolo) joined her company, and it just started somewhere whereby they started to have harmless flirting with each other, to the stage of going out with each other on movie dates. About 3 mths from Yolo joining her company, I actually stumbled upon 1 of their movie date, I actually went into the threater secretly to spy on them. It was a torrid experience and I confronted her that night. To cut thing short, she promised that she will stop it while I promised to gave her another chance. But it was not meant to be as she couldn't really hold herself back. At this juncture, they had not openly declared their love for each other and thus, she held back while Yolo knew she was married and did not dare to make the first move.

Until another month or so, Angie had held on quite well trying to stay away from Yolo. Yolo felt the sudden coldness and did a declaration, although not hoping for any returns. They remained status que for another few months.

At work, Angie constantly faces alot of stress over heavy workload, I tried to show more care and concern for her, but I believe Yolo did a better job since he is in the same company and always work till late with her alone in the office. Of course, what could have happen in the office when both are alone, its anyone guess. I expect the worse but I do not think I have the need to verify that.

Another half a year gone, and finally Yolo made the first move, Angie actually reciprocate to it. While all these time, Angie act lovingly towards me. (after the first confrontation, we actually had sex for the first time in 3 years)

Till recently, the lovingness, the sex, the care and concern had tone down alot. Sex is zero again. Although there is not much tell tales signs since she always work late in the office, with or without Yolo. And there is no dates outside as I had so called ensure that doesn't happened... So the only rendezvous they can have is after office hours, in the office itself. I know for the fact that they do drink together in the office at times.

I thought I may just close both eyes to it and hope it will just end, or let time heal my heart wound. Why don't we just get a divorce? For my gal first and foremost, I just want and she definitely wants, a healthy family for her for she is our one and only darling. I hope I am strong enough to see this through for as long as I can, but the pain is too hard to bear at times...

Some assessment that I can come out with:
1. They are definitely in love with each other and had openly declared to each other. But it is still an underground relationship which I do not believe Angie have the courage to come out with it for her values does not allow her to do so. Yolo actually willing to go with that.
2. Sex probability: 60%. I have no concrete proof that they did it. But no one else will know what happened when they are alone in the office. But for a fact that Yolo knows her vital stats and bought lingerie for her, it should not be long before they does it. And definitely, Angie and me, sex is zero for a few months now...

Some options that I had thought of...
1. let it go, not in divorce, but to close eye to it as she is still doing her duty as a mother, a daughter/daughter-in-law, a wife? (without love, how much she can do???), and various long-term committement between us. This may be the most peaceful option since status que and they do not wants to come clean with it.
2. Confront Yolo, I try or hope I am open enough to talk sense and to resolve it, be it him willing to ask for her officially or to step back. One dangerous factor is I do not know my enemy well enough to do this. Is he really a perfect guy for Angie? or is he just another guy who is happy to have a fresh meat thrown to him?
3. Talk it out with Angie. During the first confrontation, it truly came to my realisation that she can be quite a liar, for denial and excuses... Is she really the true love I thought she is? Yes, I forgave her (my nature to forgive and forget easily, is this a good thing?), but I can never trust her anymore. So this option may just make it worse and without concrete hard proof, I can never win this argument with her.

For my family, our frds and anyone who know us, it is still not the time yet to just fire and forget. In the end, I chose to pen my thoughts down here, for this may just help me clear my thoughts and focus on more important things in my life... If we don't have our darling, it would be a straightforward choice...

[83to13]

Hi Bro, understand what you are going thru totally as in certain chapter of my life i'm in this kind of situation. For me i choose to keep quiet and act blur, she have her fun and comes home while i did the same. Stay cool

[simplyman]

Hi Bro, sad to hear that. I can only wish you good luck in your decision. Take care.

[demonhunter]

First and foremost , a Divorce is a big No No.

Your options are only to meet up with all parties and hit their conscience .

No point talking to Angie alone , asking her wtf she wants or is doing ....
Yolo will still be making his moves on her which makes her forget the things she promised you .

there's also no point talking to Yolo(who the F calls himself this name ) man to man , do you really think he will give 2 F about what you say ? He already knew your existence from the cinema incident and things are still going on ...

So , as i said earlier ... all parties must be present ,including your 4 yr old princess .
Tell them its not about You , Angie or Yoyo .... its about breaking up a complete family of an innocent child .... If this still does not hit their conscience ... I dont know what will ?

This is your only choice , and if it does not work .....Just sign the fucking papers and be done with it but beware of the Womens Charter .

Hope this helps ...

GL



ps:come to think of it , office sex quite thrilling leh ...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Do not confront either party. Yes, I know its a real sucky feeling. But I suggest a reverse psychology method.
One fine day, just tell her, calmly, u know abt yolo n her. Remember, being married to u is one thing but its not important since she can already do it behind ur back, just how u gonna tell ur kid when she grows up one day that mommy was fucking her lover outside while daddy was at home wif baby.
Poison arrow multiply by 1000%

She'll know wat to do then.

U, just buy pop corn see her kadang kaboat!

[Skarlett0]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Do not confront either party. Yes, I know its a real sucky feeling. But I suggest a reverse psychology method.
One fine day, just tell her, calmly, u know abt yolo n her. Remember, being married to u is one thing but its not important since she can already do it behind ur back, just how u gonna tell ur kid when she grows up one day that mommy was fucking her lover outside while daddy was at home wif baby.
Poison arrow multiply by 1000%

She'll know wat to do then.

U, just buy pop corn see her kadang kaboat!

Agree that this may be the best way out TS.. All the best..

[wa81]

Thanks for the encouragements and advice. Sometimes ignorant is a bliss. Constantly telling myself love is giving without expecting returns. But it take a whole lot of courage and strength to keep doing it while she is giving more and more to other and lesser to me..

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by wa81

Thanks for the encouragements and advice. Sometimes ignorant is a bliss. Constantly telling myself love is giving without expecting returns. But it take a whole lot of courage and strength to keep doing it while she is giving more and more to other and lesser to me..

Unless there no love anymore then ignorant is a bliss... If not i dun think any guys can endure having ur wife in another man arms while you are the one slogging hard for the family...

[30bear]

Hi Bro,

Understand your feeling. You should engage a PI to do all the work for you and get the evidence. You are not the one who stray but your wife. Think it is time to sort out the issue through physical evidence. I understand that your kid will suffer but then what is a point of having a close and happy family when the other half is doing harmful thing to it.

May be it time to move on and throw in the evidence and get a divorce plus the custody of your kid.

Make sure you got the evidence and also make sure yourself is clean.

This is my five cent worth comments.

[Big Sexy]

what the point of guessing and assuming? if you have any doubt, ask her..
it will be easier to decide what to do after that...

Originally Posted by wa81

Some assessment that I can come out with:
1. They are definitely in love with each other and had openly declared to each other. But it is still an underground relationship which I do not believe Angie have the courage to come out with it for her values does not allow her to do so. Yolo actually willing to go with that.
2. Sex probability: 60%. I have no concrete proof that they did it. But no one else will know what happened when they are alone in the office. But for a fact that Yolo knows her vital stats and bought lingerie for her, it should not be long before they does it.

[justl00king]

Originally Posted by Big Sexy

what the point of guessing and assuming? if you have any doubt, ask her..

Totally agreed with this.

TS bro, she's your wife..so question her!

Not healthy to be on suspicion mode, all the best and hope things goes well for ya.

[xuanz]

I maybe too young to comment on this.

But if I were you. I will confront the both of them. If he got the balls to hit on a married woman, then tell him to have the guts to take her along because you don't need such a woman. If she wants that relationship. Ask her to go ahead. If she really cherish her family, she will stop what she was doing altogether.

Marry a woman who is a mother to your child, a partner for life, not a bloody fraud.

[Lamborghini]

Sometimes when you ask / question, all you receive is lies after lies after lies after lies. * Sighs *

Anyway, Good Luck TS.

[archer69]

Originally Posted by xuanz

I maybe too young to comment on this.

But if I were you. I will confront the both of them. If he got the balls to hit on a married woman, then tell him to have the guts to take her along because you don't need such a woman. If she wants that relationship. Ask her to go ahead. If she really cherish her family, she will stop what she was doing altogether.

Marry a woman who is a mother to your child, a partner for life, not a bloody fraud.

It has nothing to do with the Guy who cares he don't need to explain besides it's up to the girl. Confront the wife.

[hehehaha]

When two parties love each other and go months without sex. That's a sign. Denial as much as you want, and believe as much as longlasting love story that Hollywood, storytellers and your parents shared with you. In this 22nd centuries, it is highly unlikely.