Marrying A Thai ger

[romancest]

Originally Posted by mao86

Guys i tell u all lah.. nw i also abit scare thai gurl le.. i still love her a bit but she no good lyk tat loh...
and u all noe i spent alot for my trip in bangkok....n i neber even buy aniting

The way you write reminds me of my 12 years old niece when I talk to her on msn. No wonder you are so gullible. I am beginning to suspect new generation Singaporean men are never going to make it in the real world.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Alkano

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the following brothers for their support, help and advice.
Norikansan55, JWNY, Rapebill, Suteerak1099 and Charmaine.
I can't thank u guys enough. Thanks brothers.

hey, not a problem. just sprinkling a lil light on the matter, so u can see the bigger pic n discern better.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

I got a question, sorrie if it's been asked b4.

What do the thai think of guy who stay with the girl in their family house after being together? Look down on him for not getting a place of their own? Or it depends? What about generally in thai culture?

modern ppl modern thinking, ppl arent as particular as b4 liao. decision to stay under which roof is subject to the newly weds lor. i'm sure many cases r situational too. much as i've seen n heard, newly weds tend to have their own personal dwelling - wherever convenes them of their careers respective.

some cases, the gal moves into the in-laws, where she exercises the roles n responsibilities of a wife n daughter-in-law, care-giving for the hubby's folks. or in some cases, vice versa. perhaps where the wife's folks have a family biz that they'd handover to the daughter n son-in-law to manage in their stead.... etc.

in fact, for kids who're willing to ascede the parents or in-laws biz, n to run or expand it is sometimes deemed impressive for by-standers. no right or wrong, mostly circumstantial.

while for some conservative ones who fear their daughters married to loafers overseas, where they're converted into whores often haunt them, n have preferences that they'd find relief should the newly weds be within accessible proximity (in the kingdom)

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Thanks for the comment rapebill.

1. The bak kwa was discouraged because my girl says too much chao tar bits. I guess they don't like to burn their food. Cheese bak kwa? Where can I find that? But Thais don't really dig cheese do they? It's not sweet or spicy. It's just jeeut to them.

2. She has suggested some perfumes for her mom. I thought it odd, but oh well, maybe I'll go along with it. I'm also considering some Yomeishu, score points.

3. I'm not much of a cook. Ouch. Maybe it's time to pick up some skillz.

4. I'm trying to impress the family, especially the mom, so that's why I suggested sleeping in different rooms. Of course, if she engineers some excuse to sleep together, I'll be hard-pressed not to accept.

impression sometimes arent made by the things u afford, bt sincerity comes from your actions & gestures. ie: good manners, good initiative/etiquette also can form positive impressions. as far as gifts is concerned, tonic/herbs/medicinal stuff can seem thoughtful, bt who's to say that they wouldnt be expecting the same from u, many months there-after...??

while being a guest at their residence, your observation of house rules, good etiquette can go a long way too. ie: initiative to help with errands/chores can serve to be positive.

how to impress folks? imagine yourself to be a parent of a beloved daughter, surely there'd be stuff that u'd find impressive, while other gestures r plain redundant/ expected.

sleeping together is nt the main issue... what matters is... sleeping over (regardless if u're in different beds) fren, for most of them, sleeping over = fiancéd.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

...any ideas regarding gifts? Jian Mian Li type.

fren, if spending is really a must, then probably would do good if u consider more practical forms of gifts, ie; winter clothes in the colder months, health supplements... etc.

[OceanEleven]

Originally Posted by rapebill

I remembered I bought 2 bottles of red wine. The first thing they did was to gulp them down like beer. Although they grew up on beer and thai whiskey, they got drunk on red wine, LOL. Pity, I felt that the red wine was so wasted easily & quickly.

Haha...no red or white wine for Thais, go for whiskey, best bet is Johnny Walker and stick with black only. Anything other color unless you think you pockets are deep.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by rapebill

I remembered I bought 2 bottles of red wine. The first thing they did was to gulp them down like beer. Although they grew up on beer and thai whiskey, they got drunk on red wine, LOL. Pity, I felt that the red wine was so wasted easily & quickly.

at the speed n haste they consume rare treats, its easy for them to go down high on any form of alcohol. dun think u should feel that its a waste, since they appreciated it n finished it fast. look on the brighter side, at least they didnt go round spewing like the merlion after getting their kicks. hence, no wastage...

[Si Geena]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

sincerity comes from your actions & gestures. ie: good manners, good initiative/etiquette also can form positive impressions.

while being a guest at their residence, your observation of house rules, good etiquette can go a long way too.

how to impress folks? imagine yourself to be a parent of a beloved daughter,

sleeping together is nt the main issue... what matters is... sleeping over (regardless if u're in different beds) fren, for most of them, sleeping over = fiancéd.

You strike at the heart of my concern. Su-Paap Riap-Roi

I've actually began scripting my introduction. The sorts that say, how many people are in my family and such. I'm not sure if it's the right things to say, I was just asking my girl how she'll introduce herself and I kinda copied most of it and adapted it to my case.

My possible urgent concern is to internalise the basic etiquette stuff. Such as correct polite terms of address to the family members. The parents would obviously be Taan, the elder sister, Pii, the younger, Nong, and maybe for the children, Nuu.

And I need to brush up my usage of Kor, Garunna, Noi. I don't usually use them when I talk to my sweetie.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

You strike at the heart of my concern. Su-Paap Riap-Roi

I've actually began scripting my introduction. The sorts that say, how many people are in my family and such. I'm not sure if it's the right things to say, I was just asking my girl how she'll introduce herself and I kinda copied most of it and adapted it to my case.

My possible urgent concern is to internalise the basic etiquette stuff. Such as correct polite terms of address to the family members. The parents would obviously be Taan, the elder sister, Pii, the younger, Nong, and maybe for the children, Nuu.

And I need to brush up my usage of Kor, Garunna, Noi. I don't usually use them when I talk to my sweetie.

hehe, supaap riap-roi lor???? fren, actually, its good sense to attempt being polite, bt over-doing it can also be percieved as pretentious, cos they can sense the discomfort n stammer in your impeded speech. n if they're ppl in the rural regions, they might even find your choice of vocab hair raising.

nt that i'm belittling the guys in the rural places, bt for any city dweller who can conduct himself proper, easily outshines the country dwellers hands down. its human nature that most parents prefer marrying their daughters to better achievers, in hope that their lives n generations after have better outlook.

the family tree is only for them to know n better understand your liabilites in your own family, n to discern better if u've the capacity to provide n care for the daughter. hence, nt compulsory that u actually go down to the micro details.

[rapebill]

I remembered I was offered to eat rat meat.
I tried to wriggle out but was scolded harshly by my wife,
in that if they can eat this food, I should eat also.

Now I just eat whatever they put in front of me
and I am grateful that my wife is also less critical.
She just ask me to try and if I don't like, I can skip it.

[Si Geena]

Yes, I'll take note of that. You're probably right that I'm thinking too much and it may in fact work against my advantage.

The family home is at Paknaam, from what I can tell, is a suburb of Bangkok. Anything else of interest to note?

[Si Geena]

Originally Posted by rapebill

I remembered I was offered to eat rat meat.

She just ask me to try and if I don't like, I can skip it.

Luckily I like to eat everything at least once. It'll be interesting to eat rat meat, as long as buey lao sai can already.

You know what I dislike... It's the bamboo shoots. It smells like longkang, I really have to let them try Chao Tau Hoo.

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by Alkano

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the following brothers for their support, help and advice.
Norikansan55, JWNY, Rapebill, Suteerak1099 and Charmaine.
I can't thank u guys enough. Thanks brothers.

I didn't do a thing...can't take any credit

JWNY

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by Si Geena

Yes, I'll take note of that. You're probably right that I'm thinking too much and it may in fact work against my advantage.

The family home is at Paknaam, from what I can tell, is a suburb of Bangkok. Anything else of interest to note?

my only suggestion is, play by ear. access the situation n just be yourself. when unsure, consult your other half, let her do the talking. it's already a given that she'd probably consult u when she's in unfamiliar territory too (ie: meeting your folks)

as they all say, kiang jiu ho mai gei kiang. as much as we sgp guys have the habit of wanting to show, who's the boss... it wouldnt hurt to eat humble pie n let your partner do the interceding/mediating, when u're unsure. the gesture of meekness is also indicative that u leave space for your spouse to do the deicision making/talking when necessary.

[Si Geena]

Very sensible advice. Thank you.