Help needed on (ex?) FB

secret75 · #1 15-05-2011, 10:38 AM

bros, need your advice here.

I had a married HK colleague who came here on a project for 6 months, and we hit it off very well, so we became FB about a week after she came. 4 months into the project, I got suspicious about her other activities and relationship with other guys, as she's attractive and I am worried about losing her to others.

Hence, I became unreasonable and we quarreled, and harsh words were said. Things got bad and other colleagues might even suspect our relationship, which may cause problems to her 2 year old marriage at home. She is now undecided if she should continue with me for the last one month, even after I apologised.

A month later, we are still not having any sex or mushy sms.

I regretted my actions obviously (having now missed out on one month of sex that others could now be getting!), but how do I win her back in the last one month without being too pushy, or to get some affirmation that she's ok to continue being my FB next time she comes here or if I go HK?

Note that I can't stay overnight, as we are both married

The situation now is she is sometimes cold to me, and sometimes quite warm (but not to the level we used to have, it's more like a normal friend now). Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

Frankiestine · #2 15-05-2011, 10:42 AM

Don't you know the golden rule of being FB? No expectations, no demands and most importantly no emotional entanglements. Its hard to do but this are things that one must stick to if one expects the FB r/s to last long.

secret75 · #3 15-05-2011, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Don't you know the golden rule of being FB? No expectations, no demands and most importantly no emotional entanglements. Its hard to do but this are things that one must stick to if one expects the FB r/s to last long.

I had a 4 mth relationship with another married woman a few years back, but that was different as there were feelings attached. This is my first time having a no-strings attached fling, so wasn't previously experienced. Of course, now I have learnt, and if I have the luck to get another FB, I would not do the same thing.

It's hard to do because she gives so good sex that I am so afraid of losing this FB!

Btw - do you mean for now I should stop messaging her until she contacts me to show that I have changed and am no longer sticky? we used to exchange sms like i would greet her good morning and she would respond, and also she would msg me when she got home etc.

abchow · #4 15-05-2011, 10:59 AM

HI TS ,

In the first place , when u ask for FB , you should expect no commitment from both parties. Once u have feeling involved , its become an emotinonal attachment.
My advise is just treat her as a friend from now onwards and do not push. If the chance come by again, then perhaps you can re-kindle this relationship again. But remember the golden rules, play safe .Do not hurt the families of both party. They are collateral damage . They should not be hurted if you plan to indulge in this relationship!

Good luck!!

unsung80 · #5 15-05-2011, 12:12 PM

You had your fun, move on and don't be greedy. There's plenty of women out there. Go back screw your wife bro.

Xgenre · #6 15-05-2011, 12:45 PM

You blew it, now learn your lesson and move on. She is already showing you that normal friends is what she wants to be moving on. You've had 4 months of sex, quite good already. Be a gentleman. Let her go. If she sees your CLASS, she may decide to come back in future. Don't be so emotionally involved with FB. Not every person has the maturity to deal with a relationship.

You should put in more effort to ensure wife doesn't know about this affair from busy-body colleagues.

mikechuan · #7 15-05-2011, 12:55 PM

Who has priority? Your wife or your FB?

If you didn't plan to have anything more emotionally to do with your FB then you shouldn't have quarrelled with her in the first place.

You really think your FB is only exclusive to you? Or did you want something more emotionally in the first place?

GeMiNiZzzzZzz · #8 15-05-2011, 01:54 PM

To be honest, i find it quite perculiar that such things happens and such thread exist.

You have your free fuck, you have your own family, now that your so called FB decide to move on to another guy, you became lost ..

She's your FB, not your official wife or gf, she can do what she likes and not reporting to you in every aspect of her mindset - before you engage in her as FB, you should already know the definition of FB

DaveC65 · #9 15-05-2011, 02:18 PM

Everyone above me has given the most excellent advice. Be a MAN - go sincerely apologize to her for your harsh words and bad behaviour and move on. Make sure you part as good colleagues and leave it at that as you might work with her again sometime in the future. Just remember a fuck buddy is NOT a lover, a girlfriend, or mistress. She is most definitely NOT your possession either. Just be grateful you had 4 months of great sex.

Frankiestine · #10 15-05-2011, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by secret75

It's hard to do because she gives so good sex that I am so afraid of losing this FB!

That the thing bro it starts with good sex and we tend to confuse it as feelings...believe me I too got myself into a muddle because of this..for me there is no turning back but for you, don't screw it up you still got your own family..

Quote:

Btw - do you mean for now I should stop messaging her until she contacts me to show that I have changed and am no longer sticky? we used to exchange sms like i would greet her good morning and she would respond, and also she would msg me when she got home etc.

Every r/s whether cordial or FB is different, I can't honestly tell you what to do but since you have tried the option of trying to contact her and been ignored then I would suggest you lay low and let her cool down...

simple2kee · #11 15-05-2011, 09:58 PM

TS, it is best to move on.

maxpee88 · #12 15-05-2011, 10:15 PM

dear TS,

I am sorry to say that I agree with the bros who advised you to move on..

you had your fun, she had hers... it is regrettable you became possessive and that's the golden rule of FB (No StRINGS attached, no expectations...)

She played that well as an FB, but you unfortunately did not and that;s why she also cooled off to you already.

Sorry - I dont mean to be blunt... but i see you are still HOPING... and I am being nice to tell you that you need to move on liao.. SHE has already moved on..

Let it go... dun complicate matters and then your office knows and then you screw up her married life and maybe yours too...

secret75 · #13 15-05-2011, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxpee88

dear TS,

I am sorry to say that I agree with the bros who advised you to move on..

you had your fun, she had hers... it is regrettable you became possessive and that's the golden rule of FB (No StRINGS attached, no expectations...)

She played that well as an FB, but you unfortunately did not and that;s why she also cooled off to you already.

Sorry - I dont mean to be blunt... but i see you are still HOPING... and I am being nice to tell you that you need to move on liao.. SHE has already moved on..

Let it go... dun complicate matters and then your office knows and then you screw up her married life and maybe yours too...

Bros - thanks for the advice. I deserved the flaming. haha. Ok, will take the advice, and will definitely be wiser next time! Will move on, and only consider if she is charmed by my "class".

Cheers!

1nottiboy · #14 16-05-2011, 04:11 AM

TS, i agree you broke the golden rule. You developed feelings for her. If not, why would you be bothered what she did with other guys?

HOWEVER, i disagree that all is lost.

What you can do is buy her dinner on 1 day. Buy her movie on another. Ask her out for drinks with your frens. BUT DUN FUCK HER. If she will go out with you den you have a chance. It might take time, but you have to earn back wat you lost. Start with a hug. A kiss on the cheek. Maybe some kissing and touching before you get sex. Patience. But If she doesnt even wanna go out with you, den move on.

Worked for me.

Integrity · #15 16-05-2011, 09:37 AM

Bro TS,

Good thing that U have cleared your thotz n decided to move on with life!
I shared a similar experience with you until I broke off with my FB almost 04years ago.

We had lots of fun for many years until she started to be possesive and go into mood change easily...! Things became unbearable that I was just worried sick that both our families would get to know of our affairs due to her behaviours.

We managed to talked things out eventually and settled for a break off.
Almost a year later after the break off, we met casually to catch up and I was still "desperate" to sex her up... And guess what!? That heartless woman said that she would not do it for free and she was dead sure that she wanted to charged me $500 just to handjob my prick!!!

KNN!!! What a mercenary woman she has changed into!
But my close buddy was sure to remind me that my ex FB was just trying to stop the wild fire from "rekindling"... That's why the $500HJ thingy was a deterent! 

Just my story to share with U and many brudders here! Have a great week ahead!
Cheers!